Stargate SG-1 · Season 8
So, we're all in agreement. One way or another, it's gotta go. Correct?
Indeed.
Thank you
If you are suggesting we destroy this device against the wishes of the High Council, I must point out that would not be a good first step in relations between the Tau'ri and the newly formed Free Jaffa Nation.
[to Jacob] Why don't you do it? They already hate the Tok'ra.
What do I have to do to get a coffee around here?
[sharply] Find true enlightenment.
Can you tell me why you stopped me from killing Anubis the last time I was Ascended?
Because if I didn't stop you, the others would have, and they wouldn't have been as nice about it.
You mean, they wouldn't have erased my memory and left me naked on a planet?
That was your choice.
[He gives her a look. She grins.]
Okay. Maybe not the naked part.
[Jackson, alive and well, suddenly appears in O'Neill's office, stark naked.]
It's, uh, a long story.
[SG-1 is fishing at O'Neill's cabin]
This is great.
I told you.
I can't believe we didn't do this years ago.
Well, lets not dwell.
...There are no fish in this pond, are there?
Nope.
[Workers are delivering stacks of boxes to Jackson's lab, much to his surprise]
Jack?
Daniel.
What's goin' on?
[as he receives a clipboard from Siler] You been shoppin' online lately?
What are you talkin' about?
[as he hands clipboard to Daniel] Well, you've got a little delivery here.
[looks at clipboard] It's from Catherine's estate.
Yeah – kinda looks like she sent the whole thing.
[as he enters his office] Holy ... buckets! Looks like her entire collection!
[pats Daniel on the shoulder] I prefer stamps.
[Dr. Balinsky is enthusiastically showing rocks to a clearly bored O'Neill.]
Now, in addition, we discovered several grains of troilite and a mesostasis phase which contained micrometer crystals.
Hmm.
Now it's undergoing further testing, but we hope to have the results on your desk first thing tomorrow morning.
[sarcastic] Don't you keep me waiting!
[missing the sarcasm] No, sir! Now here's where things get really interesting, because you will notice in this fissure—
[Dr. Jackson runs into the room]
Jack! We need—we need to talk. Oh, sorry for interrupting.
[desperately grabbing Jackson's arm] No, it's okay! If it's important, you must interrupt. You must!
We don't know where it is now. But we do know where it was... Giza, 3000 B.C.
[shaking her head] You can't be serious.
What?
It's the only way.
What?
No, we agreed.
If I have to say "what" one more time, heads are gonna roll!
We have a time machine. We can go back and get the ZPM.
She wouldn't let me go back and watch the Cubs win the World Series.
[After arriving in Ancient Egypt c. 3000 B.C.]
[excitedly] I can't believe I'm finally gonna prove that the Great Pyramids predate the 4th dynasty.
So, what are you gonna do? Stand in the picture holding a newspaper with today's date?
I'm sorry, I keep thinking I'm gonna step on a bug and change the future.
[Teal'c has disguised himself as one of Ra's Jaffa in order to steal the ZPM from Ra's treasure room]
Do you really think they're just going to let him waltz in and take it?
Like I said, they don't even know what a ZPM is. To them it's like any number of dozens of ritualistic objects they pull out for any number of occasions. Besides, he's wearing the shiny suit.
[In an alternate time line, Carter is practicing what she wants to say to her male boss.]
Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't— God that's horrible! Who would ever say that?
[In an alternate time line, Daniel Jackson teaches English as a second language.]
Okay, uh, let's start with a simple greeting. Often the best way to begin interacting with someone is to find a topic of common interest. Everyone can relate to the weather, so let's start with that, shall we? Introduce yourself... and talk about the weather.
[A student raises his hand.]
[pointing at the student] Yes.
[standing up] Hello, my name is Carlos. You make me so hot.
[pause]
[smiling uncomfortably] Okay, uh, not quite right, but the introduction part was good.
Okay, people. Let me remind you. This mission is recon only. Do not engage the enemy. I'm allowing the use of this ship because of the obvious tactical advantage it provides you. Under no circumstances is it to be used to travel through time. (beat) Never in my life did I imagine ever giving that order.
Wait a minute. I thought the reason we brought the ship was so we didn't have to walk.
We can't just fly into an alien city. The mission is stealth recon. Meaning undetected.
Meaning shut up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
