Alt. Colonel Jonathan J. O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Wait a minute. I thought the reason we brought the ship was so we didn't have to walk.

We can't just fly into an alien city. The mission is stealth recon. Meaning undetected.

Meaning shut up.

[hands a gun to Dr. Jackson] Safety off, point and shoot.

[pushes gun away] Not at me.

[grimacing as she's being handed a gun] I don't really like guns.

[sarcastically] Neither do I. How do you feel about explosives?

[brightening] Those I like a little better.

Dr. Jackson

Well, this can't be a good sign.

Why's that?

Dr. Jackson

Where am I?

Ancient Egypt?

Dr. Jackson

No, I mean the me from your time line.

I killed you.

Dr. Jackson

Why?

You were a Goa'uld spy.

Dr. Jackson

A good reason.

It was horrible!

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, I'm sure. Why are you here?

Yes, excellent question.

Dr. Jackson

You don't know?

Well, I thought I did, there, for a while, and then I realized I... didn't.

Dr. Jackson

Well, I know why I'm here.

Good. Let's start there.

So what do I do?

Umm, try thinking invisible.

Okay. [pause] How do we know if it's working?

[walked outside the ship] Nope.

I'm working on it. I think the power relay was overloaded. I may be able to reroute the circuit to the control interface… [realizes O'Neill is staring at her] What?

It's just a little weird hearin' that kind of stuff come out of someone so…

[a little defensively] So what?

Hot.

[coughs in surprise] Really?

Yeah.

Wow. Uh, it's just you… you're not the kind of guy that I usually attract.

No?

No. Huh. God. Wow! This is kinda awkward.

Yeah, it's gettin' there.

I'm kind of attracted to… Daniel.

What? [pause] Really?

Sorry.

No, that's okay, no problem there. It's just, you know… First impressions, I kinda thought he was… [tries unsuccessful hand-gestures] Never mind.

Look, if we don't make it? [grabs O'Neill and kisses him firmly]

Wait a minute. You said you liked Daniel!

I lied. I just wanted to get to know you better. You see, usually I'm a very cautious person and I tend to think things—