Hank Landry quotes from Stargate SG-1

Woolsey

The IOA is considering bringing the Atlantis ZPM to Earth, for use in the Antarctic Earth defense system.

General Landry

Even if we had a ship, it would take a minimum of three weeks for the ZPM to get here. And there's no guarantee the Ancient weapons platform in Antarctica would be any more effective against the Ori ships than what we've already thrown at them. As usual, the IOA is wasting their breath. You know, if I had the salaries they pay those idiot blowhard politicians to put into my budget... I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?

Vala

I-I'm a little… overwhelmed. Heh. But, as my first… official act, I'd like to report a rather disagreeable little man.

Richard Woolsey

[entering, smugly] That would be me.

General Landry

Mr. Woolsey's offer was part of the test. We wanted to make sure we could trust you.

Vala

[recovering from surprise] I knew that. But were his sexual advances part of the test?

Richard Woolsey

[horrified] What?! That's..ah…General, I-I can assure you…

Vala

Well, I would've even considered playing along, but some of his requests were…well, a little…unusual, even for me.

Richard Woolsey

General, I would never…General!

Lt. Col. Mitchell

General.

General Landry

Somebody, give me some good news.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Sorry, sir. I still don't have anything useful.

Vala

I didn't even make it to first base.

General Landry

You don't think you can control her?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

No, I know I can't control her, but that's pretty much par for the course. Sir... Carter and I are the same rank, Teal'c's an alien, Jackson's a civilian. I learned a long time ago I don't control anything.

General Landry

Who does?

General Landry

I told ya, the last thing we need is for this place to turn into the O.K. Corral.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Or a vice-presidential bird hunt.

A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous version of Stargate Command is an excellent cover for the real thing in the event of a security leak.

Lt. Col. Carter

Plausible deniability.

Dr. Jackson

I'm sorry, sir, did you say "slightly" ridiculous?

Jacek

I suppose for the benefit of your friends there, you're gonna want to list all the reasons why I was such a bad father.

Vala

Oh, I wish I could, but a wormhole can only be maintained for thirty-eight minutes.

Jacek

Oh, you got your father's wit!

Vala

Certainly not enough time to list your inequalities as both a father and a human being.

Jacek

And your mother's uncanny ability to hold a grudge.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

You said you had some intel?

Jacek

Yes, and I'm prepared to tell you everything once you allow me through your gate.

As soon as Vala vouches for you.

Vala

I most certainly will not!

Ba'al is in Adria?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Yes, sir. It's the bad guy equivalent of Cordon Bleu.

Lt. Col. Carter

The Asgard core has time dilation field technology built right into it. It was a quick and easy option. I'm actually gonna have to recreate some of Merlin's out-of-phase technology from scratch with what we have on-board. And it could take a while.

Dr. Jackson

Just to be sure, how long is a-a while in our time?

Lt. Col. Carter

I'm not exactly sure. But we have enough food and water for three months.

Vala

Three months?!

General Landry

We can ration supplies.

Vala

[to Dr. Jackson] I'm gonna go crazy. And I'm taking you with me.

General Landry

Dial it up, Walter.

Sgt. Harriman

Yes, sir. [starts dialing the Stargate] Chevron one encoded.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

That is how we're supposed to travel light-years across the galaxy to other planets. [points at the spinning Gate]

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron two encoded.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

[to Teal'c] You know, I'd like to imagine I handled myself well, but...I imagine I went a bit crazy cooped up on that ship for so long.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron three encoded.

Dr. Jackson

You know, Teal'c did tell me some of the things I learned from the Asgard database.

Vala

He did? Like what?

Dr. Jackson

Oh, boy. What were they?

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron four encoded.

Dr. Jackson

Beggars can't be choosers. Better late than never. Look before you leap.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

The best things in life are free.

Vala

Let me guess, beauty is only skin deep?

Dr. Jackson

Silence is golden.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron five encoded.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Jack of all trades, master of none.

Lt. Col. Carter

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Vala

Life is too short.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron six encoded.

Teal'c

Good things come to those who wait.

Lt. Col. Carter

[to Teal'c] You know, as hard as it is for us not knowing, it must be torture for you not to tell us.

Teal'c

Indeed.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron seven is locked.

General Landry

Good luck, SG-1.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Just another everyday mission to save the galaxy, sir.

Indeed.

General Landry

Godspeed.