Vala Mal Doran quotes from Stargate SG-1

Excuse me. Did you really come through the Ring?

Dr. Jackson

Yes, we did.

It's a portal, isn't it, to other worlds?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Yeah, I'd be happy to show you how it works, once we get it up up and running.

You want them to free your friends.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

I'm sorry. What?

Your demands. If you want to pose as the rebels, the first thing they usually do in situations like this is ask for the freeing of their imprisoned compatriots.

Sylvana

Don't talk to them.

No, it's okay.

Dr. Jackson

[Walks toward Cicero] What's your name?

Cicero. I'm a researcher here at the museum, and I believe you.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

You want to get on the radio and explain that to the folks outside?

Oh, I've tried. I've suspected as much for years, I've published dozens of papers, written a book. No one listens. My colleagues think I'm a bit of a joke.

Vala

Oh, Daniel, you've found a kindred spirit.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Is that what I think it is?

Vala

No, it's a Goa'uld naquadah bomb.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

For the record, that's what I thought it was.

Vala

Yes, I'm sure you did. Well, it seems in pretty good shape. If it's real, and if the naquadah core is intact. I assume these cases are connected to the security system?

Yes.

Vala

So, you can't get into the case.

You won't be able to access it without a security-card.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

And you have one of those, no?

Not for these exhibits, no.

Vala

Well, not to worry. You happen to be standing next to one of the best thieves in two galaxies.

[Turns to Mitchell] Ah!

Vala

No, not him.

Vala

There's a 70% chance that if we dial manually we'll be able to establish a connection, and a 50% chance the bomb will just go off.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

That a 120%.

Vala

Well there's some crossover where we establish a wormhole and it blows up.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

[on the radio] Jackson, did you catch any of that?

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, 100% chance we should have brought someone who knows what they're doing.

Vala

Well, what would be the harm in us just…whoops! failing to stop Teal'c from killing Arkad? It wouldn't be entirely on purpose and not out of…accidental incompetence either, if you catch my drift.

Dr. Jackson

Yes, nudge nudge, wink wink.

Vala

How do we get Arkad to tell us all the pieces of the puzzle?

Dr. Jackson

Oh, that's the easy part. See, we capture him, lock him in a room, and threaten to let Teal'c kill him.

Jacek

I suppose for the benefit of your friends there, you're gonna want to list all the reasons why I was such a bad father.

Vala

Oh, I wish I could, but a wormhole can only be maintained for thirty-eight minutes.

Jacek

Oh, you got your father's wit!

Vala

Certainly not enough time to list your inequalities as both a father and a human being.

Jacek

And your mother's uncanny ability to hold a grudge.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

You said you had some intel?

Jacek

Yes, and I'm prepared to tell you everything once you allow me through your gate.

As soon as Vala vouches for you.

Vala

I most certainly will not!

Lt. Col. Mitchell

So, what's the deal with the accent, or in your father's case, the lack thereof?

Vala

Well, the accent, like most of my other good qualities, I got from my mother. My charm, my wit, my good looks…

Dr. Jackson

What'd you get from your dad?

Vala

Some minor food allergies.

Vala

I have a bad feeling about this.

Jacek

[stepping out from behind a tree] That's because I raised you to be cautious.

Vala

Mother raised me.

Jacek

Which one?

Vala

My mother!

Vala

You didn't trust him, but you talked me into coming here anyway?

Dr. Jackson

Eh. He’s not my father.

Vala

So…no IOA? No Reynolds’ men? No television program about dancing with supposed celebrities?

Dr. Jackson

Actually, that part was real.

Vala

[quietly] How very disturbing.

Dr. Jackson

I told you to bring something to amuse yourself. I didn't mean me or the crew.

Vala

They won't believe it's my birthday…again.

Dr. Jackson

Not my problem.

Vala

Being stuck on this ship is worse than being stuck at the SGC! I tell you, the last time I was this bored, I took hostages!

Dr. Jackson

I was there.

Vala

[regarding Thor and the other Asgard] Out of curiosity, how can you tell the difference?

Dr. Jackson

The voice.

Lt. Col. Carter

The Asgard core has time dilation field technology built right into it. It was a quick and easy option. I'm actually gonna have to recreate some of Merlin's out-of-phase technology from scratch with what we have on-board. And it could take a while.

Dr. Jackson

Just to be sure, how long is a-a while in our time?

Lt. Col. Carter

I'm not exactly sure. But we have enough food and water for three months.

Vala

Three months?!

General Landry

We can ration supplies.

Vala

[to Dr. Jackson] I'm gonna go crazy. And I'm taking you with me.

Vala

Do you think the Ori Soldiers could find a way to get through the time dilation field and over here onto the ship?

Teal'c

No.

Vala

Because I’m hearing things all the time. Are you hearing things?

Teal'c

I am trying not to.

Vala

Maybe they found a way to ring over but they can’t figure out how to secretly shut down the time dilation field so they’re trying to drive us crazy to get us to shut it down ourselves.

Teal'c

No.

Vala

That wasn’t a question.

Teal'c

No.

General Landry

Dial it up, Walter.

Sgt. Harriman

Yes, sir. [starts dialing the Stargate] Chevron one encoded.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

That is how we're supposed to travel light-years across the galaxy to other planets. [points at the spinning Gate]

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron two encoded.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

[to Teal'c] You know, I'd like to imagine I handled myself well, but...I imagine I went a bit crazy cooped up on that ship for so long.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron three encoded.

Dr. Jackson

You know, Teal'c did tell me some of the things I learned from the Asgard database.

Vala

He did? Like what?

Dr. Jackson

Oh, boy. What were they?

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron four encoded.

Dr. Jackson

Beggars can't be choosers. Better late than never. Look before you leap.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

The best things in life are free.

Vala

Let me guess, beauty is only skin deep?

Dr. Jackson

Silence is golden.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron five encoded.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Jack of all trades, master of none.

Lt. Col. Carter

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Vala

Life is too short.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron six encoded.

Teal'c

Good things come to those who wait.

Lt. Col. Carter

[to Teal'c] You know, as hard as it is for us not knowing, it must be torture for you not to tell us.

Teal'c

Indeed.

Sgt. Harriman

Chevron seven is locked.

General Landry

Good luck, SG-1.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Just another everyday mission to save the galaxy, sir.

Indeed.

General Landry

Godspeed.