Teal'c quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

You sure you're up to this?

Teal'c

As always.

Col. O'Neill

You're an animal.

Col. Maybourne

What happened?

Maj. Carter

They self-destructed.

Teal'c

The destruction appears to be complete.

Maj. Carter

That's a lot of damage.

Col. O'Neill

Coat of paint. A little touch-up… it'll be fine.

Teal'c

Those who escaped still possess the knowledge they obtained from being linked to your minds.

Col. O'Neill

That's creepy.

Urgo

I didn't mean to!

Teal'c

It was not his intention.

Major Carter

The probe indicates a sustainable atmosphere. Temperature 78 degrees Fahrenheit. Barometric pressure is normal.

Dr. Jackson

No obvious signs of civilization.

Major Carter

P4X-884 looks like an untouched paradise, sir.

Teal'c

Appearances may be deceiving.

Col. O'Neill

One man's ceiling is another man's floor.

Dr. Jackson

A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell.

Col. O'Neill

Never run with…scissors?

Col. O'Neill

Au revoir, Mon General.

Teal'c

I am unfamiliar with that term, O'Neill.

Col. O'Neill

Au revoir. It's French. It means ciao. Ciao…means adios, auf Wiedersehen, sayonara, which all loosely translated means…

Col. O'Neill

Goodbye?

What happened?

Col. O'Neill

What happened?

That's what I just asked you. Will someone please tell me what's going on?

Major Carter

General...we just left.

You've been gone over 15 hours.

Teal'c

Apophis must have transported off of Sokar's ship before it exploded.

Col. O'Neill

Son of a bitch! Somebody's got to teach that guy how to die.

Teal'c

Dr Rothman is now studying it.

Col. O'Neill

Rothman couldn't figure out an ashtray. The guy we need working on that skull is Daniel.

Teal'c

It is he whom we endeavor to locate, O'Neill.

Col. O'Neill

Look, I'm sick of laying around. Help me up.

Teal'c

Dr. Frasier believes you are not strong enough to undertake such a mission.

Col. O'Neill

Yeah, whatever.

Teal'c

[Looking down at O'Neill] Dr. Frasier is usually correct in such matters.

Col. O'Neill

[muffled] Thank you.

Teal'c

You are welcome, O'Neill.

Col. O'Neill

Say something.

Teal'c

One small step for Jaffa.

Col. O'Neill

Very nice.

Teal'c

The replicators are impervious to Goa'uld technology. They are, however, susceptible to human projectile weaponry. [Davis looks towards Jack confused]

Col. O'Neill

Guns.

Col. O'Neill

[to Teal'c] You've got that look.

Teal'c

To which look are you referring, O'Neill?

Dr. Jackson

The one that says, "I have misgivings about this mission but deep down I know we're doing the right thing"?

Col. O'Neill

No, the other one.

Dr. Jackson

Oh.

Col. O'Neill

Next time I tell you to shut up...!

Dr. Jackson

I didn't hear you tell me to shut up.

Col. O'Neill

Too subtle for ya?

Dr. Jackson

Well, for once, yes. Would you hear me out?

Col. O'Neill

Carter, our standing orders, what are they?

Maj. Carter

To seek new allies and procure technologies to aid in the defense against the Goa'uld.

Col. O'Neill

And have we carried out those orders?

Dr. Jackson

We came here to help them!

Teal'c

Is that not what we are doing, Daniel Jackson?

Dr. Jackson

No. Their whole world is in flames and we are offering them gasoline. How is that help?

Teal'c

We are in fact offering water.

Col. O'Neill

[to Teal'c] Thank you!

Dr. Jackson

I was speaking metaphorically.

Col. O'Neill

Well, stop it! It's not fair to Teal'c.

Col. O'Neill

So, what's your impression of Alar?

Teal'c

That he is concealing something.

Col. O'Neill

Like what?

Teal'c

I am unsure. He is concealing it.

Col. O'Neill

General, sir, about the obviously impending court martials...

You were all under the influence of an alien technology, Colonel. That's a pretty solid defense.

Col. O'Neill

Even so, I'm sorry.

Maj. Carter

Me too.

Dr. Jackson

Me three.

Teal'c

[smugly] I have no need to apologize.

Teal'c was actually following orders.

Col. O'Neill

Of course he was.

Teal'c

O'Neill?

Col. O'Neill

Master Teal'c.

Teal'c

I am in need of your assistance.

Col. O'Neill

I'm here to serve!