Teal&#039;c quotes from Stargate SG-1

We've done this!

We do this every day.

I'm not talking about briefings in general, Daniel, I'm talking about this briefing; I'm talking about this day.

Teal'c

Col. O'Neill is correct. Events do appear to be repeating themselves.

Since when?

Since we went to P4X-639.

Maj. Carter

We haven't been to P4X-639.

Yes we have. [points at Dr. Jackson] No, we haven't. That's what you were going to say.

Of course that's what I was going to say.

[pause]

Okay, bad example. Look, you'll all believe me when SG-12 comes through that gate in [he looks at his watch, ticking off seconds] four...three...two...one...

[he silently ticks off the final second, and when he reaches zero, he makes a flourishing gesture toward the gate room. Cut to a shot of Carter, looking confused, then to a shot of the unactivated gate, then back to O'Neill. He frowns and begins to tap his watch doubtfully]

GHGen. Hammond

[calmly] SG-12 isn't due back for three days.

[alarms go off]

TTechnician

[over loudspeaker] Unscheduled off-world activation!

[under his breath] So close.

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Teal'c

O'Neill, should we not be assisting Daniel Jackson with the translation?

I'm taking this loop off.

[Col. O'Neill starts squirting mustard and ketchup onto an empty plate.]

I'm telling you, Teal'c, if we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm going to lose it.

[Teal'c raises an eyebrow.]

Lose it. It means go crazy. Nuts. [from this point on, he becomes increasingly agitated] Insane. Bonzo. No longer in possession of one's faculties. Three fries short of a happy meal... [by now, O'Neill is ranting. He holds up his plate, which now has a crazed mustard-and-ketchup smiley face on it] WACKO!

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You know the worst part about this? Every time we loop, Daniel asks me a question…and I wasn't listening the first time.

Teal'c

You are not the only one who must experience some discomfort, O'Neill.

[The loop resets to the beginning. Cut to corridor, we see Teal'c get slammed in the face by a door being opened.]

MMan

I'm sorry, sir, I didn't see you there.

Teal'c

You have said that on many occasions.

MMan

I -- I -- what?

Teal'c

Perhaps next time I will not be so forgiving.

[In a later loop.]

MMan

I'm sorry, sir, I ... whoa!

[Teal'c slams the door on the man and walks away with a smirk.]

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[Teal'c and Col. O'Neill are standing on a patch of astroturf in front of the activated Stargate in full golf clothing, holding drivers. Teal'c shoots a golf ball into the gate.]

[appreciatively] Oh yeah! That'll play...How far is Alaris, anyway?

Teal'c

[As he tees up a ball for O'Neill to shoot] Several billion miles, O'Neill.

That's gotta be a record.

[O'Neill shoots a ball into the gate.]

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Teal'c

Do not humans usually die when they are frozen?

Usually.

[The frozen Mayborne breathes out]

They usually don't breathe when they're dead either.

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[About parachuting from a plane]

Teal'c

This does not seem wise, O'Neill!

I said it was easy, not wise.

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Teal'c

Trust in me, O'Neill.

What if I'm not O'Neill?

Teal'c

Then I was not talking to you.

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Took you long enough!

Teal'c

You are welcome O'Neill.

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Maj. Carter

Does anyone know what this meeting's about?

No but I hope it's important. I was right in the middle of translating that cuneiform tablet we found on P30-255.

Maj. Carter

I still have to finish recalibrating MALP 3KA's sensors for long term reconnaissance on P5X-327.

Teal'c

I was unable to complete my Kel no'reem.

[after a pause] I was just about to...do...something important.

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How does she fly, son?

Teal'c

The vehicle performed within expected parameters.

Woohoo! [Vidrine and Hammond look at him, stunned] Sorry Sir. I couldn't help but get caught up in Teal'c's enthusiasm.

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In all seriousness, if that's all right with you, Colonel? How effective can a single fighter be against a potential fleet of Goa'uld warships?

Teal'c

That is what these tests endeavour to determine.

Let's find out. What's next?

I take second seat for an air-to-air live fire test.

GHGen. Hammond

Our SGC control room will serve as Mission Control, Sir.

Light that candle, boys.

Yes, Sir.

[Teal'c and O'Neill head back to the glider.]

Teal'c

Does General Vidrine wish to perform some sort of candle-burning ritual?

Yes, that's it, exactly.

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Teal'c

There appears to be no fish here, O'Neill.

T... It's not about the actual fish themselves...the fish are not important in this context. It's about fishing... the act of fishing itself.

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[Teal'c and another Jaffa are attempting to pass through a security checkpoint, but the guard tells them to hand over their staff weapons]

Teal'c

We carry these for ceremonial purposes only.

GGuard

I'm sorry, but you'll have to let me have it.

Teal'c

Very well. [shoots the guard]

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From what I've been able to translate so far with Loren's help, the Goa'uld used to use this place as some sort of, opium den. The only difference is their symbiotes must have kept the host's mind chemically balanced once they left.

Teal'c

Then it is most likely I will be able to leave this planet.

Oh how nice for you.

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Teal'c

Are you ready, O'Neill?