Samantha Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Vala

Our only chance is to take this ship back.

Lt. Col. Carter

Well, I have an idea about that, but it’s pretty risky.

Vala

Well, it’s probably better than our plan.

Lt. Col. Carter

Well, what’s your plan?

Dr. Jackson

We don't have one.

Lt. Col. Carter

Ah.

Lt. Col. Carter

How'd you do that?

Vala

Honestly, I don’t know, that almost never normally works.

Ba’al

Why don't you do something? You're the Orici. You're supposedly possessed of significant powers. So snuff out the flame and get us on our way.

My abilities don't work that way.

Ba’al

Of course, how does that Earth saying go? "All flash, no photo?"

Lt. Col. Carter

Actually, it's "All flash, no substance."

Ba’al

I prefer my version.

Would you care for a demonstration?

[haughtily] Taking your life would be a waste of my time.

Ba’al

Which I suppose would be put to better use complaining.

Lt. Col. Carter

Oh, geez, why don't you two just get a room?

Merlin

Where am I?

Lt. Col. Carter

Good question.

Merlin

[to Carter] You look familiar. [pauses as he scrutinizes Carter] Guinivere! [hugging Carter] Oh my dear, it's been too long.

Lt. Col. Carter

Uh, good to see you too.

Merlin

[to Mitchell] Percival! [to Jackson] And Galahad! Oh brave knights, fortune indeed does smile upon me to see your faces again.

Ba’al

Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat, if you catch my meaning.

Merlin

What's that? Mordred? I might have known it.

Ba’al

We're wasting our time with this old fool! We need to get back to the gate so I can start reprogramming—

Merlin

Be silent!

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Well how do you like that? The old boy still has some old tricks up his sleeve.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Coffee!

Lt. Col. Carter

Oh, thank you!

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Don't get too excited, they packed us decaf by mistake.

Lt. Col. Carter

D'oh.

Lt. Col. Carter

I spent my entire life dedicated to science. That's the last ten years, trying to convince people they believed in false gods. I don't feel like science is gonna help me. Right now, I'm just hoping somewhere one of those gods...

Lt. Col. Mitchell

My grandma used to say, "God is like a prairie windstorm. If you look too hard, you get dust in your eyes, but there's still plenty of ways to know it's there."

Lt. Col. Carter

Is that what you believe?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Actually, I generally just nodded until she gave me a macaroon.

Lt. Col. Carter

That's a good sign.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

That's easy for you to say, you with that little flesh wound.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Pretty good, huh?

Lt. Col. Carter

Actually, they are pretty good

Lt. Col. Mitchell

[looking at Carter's face] You hate it.

Lt. Col. Carter

Yup, sorry.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Well, to each their own.

Lt. Col. Carter

I'm not who you think I am.

Dr. McKay

Oh my god, you're a lesbian, is that what you're trying to tell me?

Lt. Col. Carter

What? No - McKay!

Lt. Col. Carter

The Rodney McKay I know wouldn’t back down from a challenge. He is one of the most forthright, courageous… and selfless men I have ever met.

Dr. McKay

[preening] Hmm. [realizes] Aw, you’re making that up, aren’t you?

Lt. Col. Carter

Most of it, yeah.

Lt. Col. Carter

The Rodney I know is a master of subtle persuasion.

Dr. McKay

Huh. Oh, you’re lying again, aren’t you?

Lt. Col. Carter

How's it going sir?

Longing for the days when I actually carried a weapon. What do you got?

Lt. Col. Carter

A crazy idea.

I'm down with crazy. I like crazy. Crazy and I are like... that.

Lt. Col. Carter

Cam likes crazy too.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Listen, if what Jackson is saying is true, there is an Ori ship out there with a near-complete weapon on it that could prove useful against the Ori. I think we should go after it.

You're right. That's crazy!

Vala

[assembling the weapon] Okay, I think that's about it.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Hang on. What's this?

Vala

[dismissively] Oh, I'm not sure about that one.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

See! There is always a widget left over.

Vala

I thought you were always one short?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Well you'd think both was impossible, but it's not.

Vala

Right... Actually, I'm pretty sure that's the timing crystal that sets the detonation of the weapon five minutes after it's inserted.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Right. Hold on that. [into radio] Carter, status?

Lt. Col. Carter

[into radio] Vala, Cam, we're moments from exiting hyperspace.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Roger that. We're almost done here...Check that, uh, Vala's almost done. I still have my doubts.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

[into intercom] Carter, Sunshine [Daniel] is awake.

Lt. Col. Carter

That's good, is he okay?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Well, he's grumpy.

Lt. Col. Carter

Can you ask him how he managed to cloak this ship?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

He says magicians don't reveal their secrets.

Jacek

Say, how'd you like to go out to dinner with me once this is all is over?

Lt. Col. Carter

Oh, I don't think so.

Jacek

Why not?

Lt. Col. Carter

Well, I'm an incredibly busy person with very little free time…Oh! And you're a jerk.

Jacek

oh well there is that