Rodney McKay quotes from Stargate SG-1

Maj. Carter

That's how the Pentagon came up with the 48 hour limit, isn't it? You told them Teal'c would be dead.

Dr. McKay

That's why it's called a deadline.

Dr. McKay

I guess that we got off on the wrong foot.

Maj. Carter

What probability factor did you use figuring that out?

Dr. McKay

Wish I didn't find you so attractive. I always had a weakness for dumb blondes.

Maj. Carter

[referring to McKay's citrus allergy] Go suck a lemon.

Dr. McKay

Very sexy. Very, very sexy

Dr. McKay

Still sexy as ever I see.

Maj. Carter

What are you doing here?

Dr. McKay

Well, there is no point of building naquadah reactors for Russia if there isn't going to be a Russia, is there? The Pentagon thought you... might need some help.

Maj. Carter

Not from you.

Dr. McKay

[about Anubis] Has a real flair for the dramatic, doesn't he? Very theatrical.

Maj. Carter

Yeah, pretty much all the Goa'uld are like that.

Dr. McKay

But, why wait? Why does this guy show up a day and a half after this all starts to do his whole "prepare to meet your doom" thing?

Maj. Carter

I don't know, maybe he wanted to make sure it was gonna work.

Dr. McKay

Yeah, that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? [pretending to be Anubis] "Nothing can stop the destruction that I bring upon you!" And then the Gate shuts down. [again pretending to be Anubis] "Oops, sorry, never mind."

Maj. Carter

Yeah, well, that didn't happen, and we only have fifty-four hours left.

Maj. Carter

So, what? We call Anubis up and ask him to stop?

Dr. McKay

Yeah, "Hey, Anubis, this is your agent, you're playing it way over the top, can you get serious, please?"

Maj. Carter

For the record, I hate you.

Dr. McKay

Well, it can't get any worse, then, can it?

Maj. Carter

Oh, no I'm rapidly working up to despise.

Dr. McKay

Hi.

Maj. Carter

Oh, man, and I was just starting to feel better.

Dr. McKay

[takes a deep breath, appearing to be relaxing] I always wanted to be a pianist.

Maj. Carter

[Thinking McKay said "penis"] Excuse me?

Dr. McKay

A concert pianist --- you know, a guy who plays the piano [he mimes playing the piano] in front of lots of people?

Maj. Carter

[Sam smiles] Right.

Dr. McKay

What did you think I said?

Maj. Carter

Never mind.

Dr. McKay

I had a not-so-comfortable childhood. My parents hated each other. Blamed me. Music was my salvation. It had this ... perfect order for me.

Maj. Carter

[smiles, patronizing] That's nice, really.

Dr. McKay

When I was 12, my teacher told me to quit. A fine clinical player, he said, but no sense of the art whatsoever.

Maj. Carter

Why are you telling me this?

Dr. McKay

I'm just ... trying to bond.

Maj. Carter

Why?

Dr. McKay

Hospital gowns turn me on. [He smiles] I turned to science because I thought it would be different than music, but it isn't. It's just the same, it's just as much of an art as anything else.

Maj. Carter

Look, it's not your fault that the EM pulse didn't work.

Dr. McKay

You're an artist, Major. Maybe the best I've ever seen. I'm just critical because I'm jealous.

Maj. Carter

I'm touched, really. I wish I had a brilliant plan to draw up for you.

Dr. McKay

And you're funny, too. Even electrocuted. I mean, I've ... I've got nothing.

Maj. Carter

You're creeping me out, McKay.

Dr. McKay

What do you think the little alien guy's doing down there?

Maj. Carter

Bet you regret coming here now.

Jonas Quinn

Can't really look at it that way, can we?

Maj. Carter

So... what are you doing?

Jonas Quinn

You know, it's the stupidest thing, but it's been bugging me since I got here.

Maj. Carter

What's that?

Jonas Quinn

We're inside a mountain. The gate obviously can't fit through any of these doors...

Maj. Carter

So how did it get in here? The ceiling retracts. [She points] Above it is a shaft that leads to the surface, and inside is a crane mechanism that hoisted the gate down.

Jonas Quinn

Interesting. Does it go up?

Dr. McKay

[thrilled] That means you don't hate me.

Major Carter

Maybe. Too bad for you.

Dr. McKay

Why?

Major Carter

I was more attracted to you when I did.

Dr. McKay

I am just saying, the yield calculations can be extremely tricky, if not borderline impossible. [smugly] You may need me.

Vala

Colonel Carter said as much.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Ooohhhh, we weren't going to tell him that.

Dr. McKay

But um, first, I just wanted to thank you for being there for me recently in a time of great personal need. Well, actually, you weren't there— I was alone in the dark, but um, you know, it sure seemed like you were.

Lt. Colonel Carter

[suspiciously] Are you telling me one of your fantasies?

Dr. McKay

No it was a hallucination, I had a concussion, I was trapped in the back of a sinking Jumper and my mind conjured you up as a means of survival, it's what you would do in my situation. You saved my life

Lt. Colonel Carter

OK well, that's… sort of nice.

Dr. McKay

Mmm. Yes it was.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Was I naked?

Dr. McKay

[slightly embarrassed] Partially.

Lt. Col. Carter

I'm not who you think I am.

Dr. McKay

Oh my god, you're a lesbian, is that what you're trying to tell me?

Lt. Col. Carter

What? No - McKay!

Lt. Col. Carter

The Rodney McKay I know wouldn’t back down from a challenge. He is one of the most forthright, courageous… and selfless men I have ever met.

Dr. McKay

[preening] Hmm. [realizes] Aw, you’re making that up, aren’t you?

Lt. Col. Carter

Most of it, yeah.

Lt. Col. Carter

The Rodney I know is a master of subtle persuasion.

Dr. McKay

Huh. Oh, you’re lying again, aren’t you?