Samantha Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Maj. Carter

Colonel!

Col. O'Neill

Carter.

Dr. Jackson

Coffee (Yawns)

Col. O'Neill

Humming?

Maj. Carter

I am?

Col. O'Neill

You are.

Maj. Carter

Sorry.

Col. O'Neill

What's his name?

Maj. Carter

Now, why would you…

Col. O'Neill

Humming.

Maj. Carter

Pete.

Col. O'Neill

Pete.

Maj. Carter

Pete Shanahan, he's a cop.

Col. O'Neill

Speeding again, are we?

Maj. Carter

From Denver, he's a friend of my brother's.

Col. O'Neill

Set up.

Maj. Carter

Pathetic, I know.

Col. O'Neill

No, it's great.

Maj. Carter

Really?

Col. O'Neill

Isn't it?

Maj. Carter

Well, it's not serious.

Col. O'Neill

And yet...it is...hum-worthy.

Maj. Carter

Sir...

Col. O'Neill

Carter, it's none of my business, I'm just happy you're happy about something other than...quarks. [Pauses] Not bad with the quarks, huh?

Maj. Carter

Oh, excellent.

Col. O'Neill

Bit uncomfortable, isn't it?

Maj. Carter

Yeah, a bit.

Col. O'Neill

Good luck.

Maj. Carter

Thank you, sir.

You're suggesting that Osiris is here on Earth manipulating Dr. Jackson's dreams?

Maj. Carter

We think it's possible, sir.

Col. O'Neill

Kinky.

Have you not had your coffee this morning?

Jacob

... Selmak doesn't like coffee.

You gave up coffee for your symbiote?

…could we get a shot of the Gate spinning?

Maj. Carter

[sarcastically] Sure. It's really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything.

Maj. Carter

[Enters Col. O'Neill's private medical quarters] Sir, heard you were up and around.

Col. O'Neill

Yeah... argh... still a little tender but they said I could go home.

Maj. Carter

We're lucky that staff blast hit you where it did. That new vest inserts works well.

Col. O'Neill

Didn't help Fraiser much...

Maj. Carter

... No.

Col. O'Neill

[after a moments silence] How's Cassie?

Maj. Carter

She's a strong kid, she survives, you know...

Col. O'Neill

Yeah. You speaking at the memorial?

Maj. Carter

[nods] Sir... I... I just wanted to say... When you were lying there, I... [fights back tears] I'm really glad you're okay.

Col. O'Neill

[Walks over to her] C'mere. [He pulls her into a hug]

Col. O'Neill

No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up. I need a seven-letter word.

Dr. Jackson

I told Sam I wouldn't help you.

Col. O'Neill

Well then, this will be the one thing she doesn't know. "Up, Down, Charm"... Blank.

Dr. Jackson

"Strange."

Col. O'Neill

Yeah, well, thanks anyway.

Dr. Jackson

No, the word you're looking for is... [O'Neill hangs up]

Col. O'Neill

How long have you been standing there?

Dr. Jackson

You said half an hour an hour ago.

Maj. Carter

General Hammond is waiting for us.

Maj. Carter

The fate of the universe is hanging in the balance and you've been sitting in your truck finishing this?

Col. O'Neill

I believe the bet was double or nothing. [SG1 begins walking up the stairs towards the briefing room]

Maj. Carter

Okay, 23 across, "the atomic weight of boron." The answer is ten.

Col. O'Neill

So?

Maj. Carter

You wrote "fat."

Col. O'Neill

Your point?

Maj. Carter

... It will overwhelm his nervous system, and the Colonel will....

Col. O'Neill

What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?

Colonel, you should be in the infirmary.

Col. O'Neill

Why? We all know exactly what's gonna happen. In a few days I start speaking some strange language. A few days after that I start doing things beyond my control, and a few days after that, it's goodnight my someone, goodnight. So with your permission sir I'd like to take the weekend to get some personal things together.

Maj. Carter

The last time, it did take a couple of days before we noticed any change in the Colonel's behavior.

Col. O'Neill

I'll be back on Monday ready to work.

Permission granted.

Col. O'Neill

Thank you sir. Now if you'll excuse me, my favorite television show starts in half an hour. [He walks away]

Col. O'Neill

Hammond send you by to check up on me?

Maj. Carter

No! It's funny really, I was out driving, you know....in my car, and I um... I drove here. [Laughs nervously] Yeah ...

Col. O'Neill

[Mockingly] "Funny."

Maj. Carter

Yeah...

Maj. Carter

Sir? [Sits down next to him on the sofa]

Col. O'Neill

[After a long pause of her just staring at him] What?

Maj. Carter

I should have done it.

Col. O'Neill

What? Stuck your head in that thing? Are you nuts? Carter. You're one of this country's natural resources. If not National treasures. It couldn't have gone down any other way. I just hope it's worth it...

Maj. Carter

Even if we do find the Lost City. Even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet....

Col. O'Neill

[Interrupts her] THAT ... would be worth it. [Jack and Sam stare at each other until a knock at the door interrupts their moment]

Daniel Jackson

[Opens the front door and pops his head in] Hello!?

Col. O'Neill

[Sam smiles in disappointment. Jack sideways glances at her before calling out to Daniel and Teal'c] In here!

Daniel Jackson

[He and Teal’c slowly walk in the door. They peer around the corner ans see Sam and Jack sitting close] Oh sorry, are we interrupting anything?

[Dismissively] No...

Col. O'Neill

What are you doing here?

Daniel Jackson

Oh we ... well it's ... it's a funny story actually. We, we, ah, were driving by and we, uh ... saw Sam's car in the driveway, and ... and ... uh ...

Col. O'Neill

[Nudging Sam's arm, sarcastically] Funny.

Daniel Jackson

... Teal'c said to me. Well he didn't actually say anything. He just kinda looked at me and did that eyebrow raise thing that he kinda does and I said to him, I said 'hey, why don't we stop by and'...

Col. O'Neill

[Interrupts Daniel] Is that doughnuts?

Teal'c

[Holds up the box, beaming] Indeed!

Col. O'Neill

[a la Monty Burns] Excellent!

Col. O'Neill

You are so wrong. It's a perfect analogy: Burns as Goa'uld.

Teal'c

They are merely animated characters, O'Neill.

Col. O'Neill

You are so shallow.

Dr. Jackson

Oh, Please! Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. He's so deep. [to Teal'c] Come-come on, tell 'em how deep you are. [to O'Neill, excitedly] You'll be lucky if you understand this.

Teal'c

My depth is immaterial to this conversation.

Dr. Jackson

Oooo! Y'see!

Col. O'Neill

No more beer for you.

Maj. Carter

I'm sorry, sir, but I have to agree. I don't see the connection.

Col. O'Neill

All right, that does it. You know, the entire VHS collection was going to one of you. It's going to Siler. He gets it.

Maj. Carter

The clue for seven down is "celestial body." He wrote "Uma Thurman."

Col. O'Neill

[smiling] Yes.

Dr. Jackson

Jack, what are you doing?

Col. O'Neill

At.

Maj. Carter

What?

Col. O'Neill

At.

Dr. Jackson

This.

Col. O'Neill

That.

Dr. Jackson

That is at?

Col. O'Neill

You can stop... that.

Col. O'Neill

[Making adjustments to the crystals] Give me your zat. [Sam hands over a zat and Jack shoots the crystals. The engine sound increases. Jack closes the zat and hands it back to Sam.] There you go.

Maj. Carter

Sir. I think you should know that General Hammond authorised me to take command of the team if I determined that you ...

Col. O'Neill

[Interrupts her] Do it now.

Maj. Carter

Sir, I don’t think that’s necessary ...

Col. O'Neill

I trust you. I’ll make it easy for you. I resign. You’re in charge.

Maj. Carter

[Hesitates] OK... Sir, at your house before Daniel and Teal’c showed up, what I was gonna say was ...

Col. O'Neill

I know. [They stare at each other]

Col. O'Neill

Then you know more than I do.

Maj. Carter

No, sir, I don’t. Now... sit down and take a look. [Pauses awkwardly] That’s an order.

Col. O'Neill

[Jack walks past Sam on his way to take the controls of the scout ship] Easy.