Samantha Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

It's time for Plan B.

Maj. Carter

We have a Plan B?

Col. O'Neill

No, but it's time for one.

Maj. Carter

So they fly halfway across the galaxy, in a highly advanced spaceship, but they don't use their technology to take over the planet. You know what their weakness turned out to be? Water. I mean, if that's true, why go to all the trouble to invade a planet that's two-thirds water? Not to mention the rain.

Dr. Jackson

Why do you watch those movies if all you're going to do is cut 'em up?

Maj. Carter

Come on! Don't you occasionally like to see if they're getting it anywhere close to the truth?

Dr. Jackson

We need a distraction

Maj. Carter

Grenades?

Col. O'Neill

Think Bigger

Maj. Carter

Claymores?

Col. O'Neill

[looking up at the dry dock with an unfinished mothership] Much bigger!

Dr. Jackson

You're just sore that you lost.

Maj. Carter

Well, come on. It wasn't fair! Bunch of cheaters…

Dr. Jackson

So, whatcha gonna do?

Maj. Carter

Next year, I'm gonna kick butt.

[handing Carter a thick binder] Major Carter, if you are to be my co-pilot, you will need to know how the ship works.

Maj. Carter

What is this? [she opens the binder and begins to leaf through]

A complete operations manual for the Seberus, I had it translated for you.

Maj. Carter

Thank you!

Col. O'Neill

[looking at the manual over Carter's shoulder] That's not our language!

Maj. Carter

It's mine, Sir.

I will go myself and pick one up after I get back from escorting Col. O'Neill, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c to the Hebridan capital building.

Col. O'Neill

T, you coming?

Teal'c

Major Carter has requested that I remain, so that I may assist her.

Col. O'Neill

She did?

Maj. Carter

I did? Yes. Thank you.

Teal'c

I do not wish to disappoint Major Carter

Col. O'Neill

Yes... I know the feeling.

Maj. Carter

It's an energy-based weapon, sir. It could, potentially, replace the missiles on the X-303.

Col. O'Neill

Phaser?

More like a photon torpedo.

It's pretty cool, isn't it? You and I working together? We're sort of like the intellectual Butch and Sundance of the SGC.

Maj. Carter

Butch and Sundance got cornered and killed by the Bolivian army.

Maj. Carter

We've got trouble!

What kind of trouble?

Maj. Carter

Think "Bolivia"!

Dr. Jackson

I can't help but think of the ancient Greek amazon mythos.

Col. O'Neill

Yes. Me too.

Dr. Jackson

They were female warriors who occasionally captured men from other tribes in order to mate with them. Would often, um, would sometimes remove their right breasts so they could more easily fire a bow and arrow.

Col. O'Neill

I see neither bow nor arrow.

Dr. Jackson

No.

Col. O'Neill

Wait, you don't s'pose that's why they want us, do you? You know, the three of us.

Dr. Jackson

To...to mate with? No, I don't think so.

Col. O'Neill

Cause you know me, I'm all for helping people.

Maj. Carter

[laughing] Oh, God!

Col. O'Neill

[To Ramius] Greetings! Well, uh, I know how this looks. So, I think it's important we clear up any misunderstanding right away. We did not come to kill you. Honest. Am I right!? The fact is, and this is the fun part, we actually came to save your ass...es. All your asses. Do you see the irony? All right, there's this guy out there, big guy, big guy in a black suit. None too fond of you Goa'ulds. Well, anyway, he's the one we're after, not you. So if you want to let us go, we'll be on our way, to save the world another da—you're not buying this, are you?

Jaffa, Move Out!

Maj. Carter

That went well.

Col. O'Neill

That went well.

Jacob

Sam. Sam.

(grimacing) ugh.

Jacob

No lie still. Where does it hurt?

Everywhere.

Jacob

That's a good sign.

Maj. Carter

Were you this annoying when you were ascended?

Dr. Jackson

I dunno, depends on who you ask. I thought I had a certain je ne sais quoi. Timing was so-so.

Daniel Jackson

Hey! Have I told you my latest theory yet? It's really cool. Lose something?

Maj. Carter

Did you see a…

Daniel Jackson

Little girl?

Maj. Carter

Yeah.

Daniel Jackson

No.

Col. O'Neill

All right Carter, come on, on your feet let's go.

Maj. Carter

I was wondering when you were going to show up.

Col. O'Neill

You just gonna sit there?

Maj. Carter

Too tired sir.

Col. O'Neill

Samantha, I'm a figment of your imagination. You're gonna call me Sir?

Maj. Carter

Old habit. Sorry.

Col. O'Neill

So, you gonna save yourself or what?

Maj. Carter

I've tried.

Col. O'Neill

Just giving up then?

Maj. Carter

I just don't know what else to do right now.

Col. O'Neill

You'll think of something.

Maj. Carter

Came to give me a pep talk?

Col. O'Neill

That's what friends are for.

Maj. Carter

Friends...

Col. O'Neill

Hey. This is you talking here. Might as well be honest.

Maj. Carter

What if I quit the Air Force? Would that change anything or is it just an excuse?

Col. O'Neill

I would never ask you to give up your career.

Maj. Carter

Because you don't feel anything for me?

Col. O'Neill

Carter...

Maj. Carter

I'd let you go right now if I knew.

Col. O'Neill

That easy?

Maj. Carter

I didn't say it would be easy.

Col. O'Neill

Then what's stopping you if you really wanna know?

Maj. Carter

I'm trying.

Col. O'Neill

Maybe it's not me that's the problem here. Let's face it, I'm not that complex.

Maj. Carter

Me?

Col. O'Neill

Sam. I'm a safe bet.

Maj. Carter

As long as I'm thinking about you, setting my sights on what I think is unobtainable, there's no chance of being hurt by someone else.

Col. O'Neill

Jacob was right. You deserve more. I will always be there for you, no matter what. Believe me.

Maj. Carter

So what now?

Col. O'Neill

Go save your ass.

Maj. Carter

One last thing... [Sam imagines them kissing.] Never mind.

Col. O'Neill

Hey.

Maj. Carter

Jack?

Col. O'Neill

[Shocked] Excuse me?

Maj. Carter

Sorry, Sir.

Col. O'Neill

Yes, well, a massive concussion will tend to disorient one.

Maj. Carter

How long was I out there?

Col. O'Neill

It's all relative Carter, that whole time space continuum thing.

Maj. Carter

Sir...

Col. O'Neill

Four days.

Maj. Carter

Could have sworn it was weeks.

Col. O'Neill

Teal'c and Daniel say 'Hi'. They're planning a little bit of a shindig for when you're up and around. There's talk of cake.

Maj. Carter

[Smiles] Cake?

Col. O'Neill

My idea!

Maj. Carter

Can't wait.

Col. O'Neill

Need anything? Magazine? Yo yo?

Maj. Carter

I'm fine.

Col. O'Neill

Yes you are.

Maj. Carter

Thank you Sir.

Col. O'Neill

For what?

Maj. Carter

... Nothing.

Col. O'Neill

Think nothing of it. I've got plenty of that.