Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

Ooh! Anybody else feel that?

Maj. Carter

The tingling sensation is caused by the energy field. It's not causing any physical damage, so there's nothing to worry about, sir.

Col. O'Neill

No, I like it. It's good!

They are sending their most respected team of representatives. No doubt the leader of this group will be a brilliant and savvy negotiator.

We must be at our best to match the challenge.

Personally, I cannot wait to meet a man of such genius.

Col. O'Neill

Howdy, folks!

Teal'c

A Goa'uld offspring is born with the intellect and knowledge of the queen who bore it. Normally, the fully developed personality would emerge, allowing the symbiote to control the host immediately upon blending.

Col. O'Neill

Glowing eyes, cliché behavior, evilness, that kind of thing.

Col. O'Neill

Alright now, how is that possible? I mean, how does she make kids without a… [pause] …man friend?

Symbiote queens are able to fertilize their own eggs. It is essentially an asexual process.

Col. O'Neill

That why you guys take hosts?

Col. O'Neill

Suffice to say you might want to get upstairs and punch "1" [supposedly the President] on the old speed dial.

[confused] My grandchildren?

Col. O'Neill

"2" then.

Col. O'Neill

They didn't go for it.

Maj. Carter

They didn't approve the mission?

Col. O'Neill

No, they did that. Once they knew the stakes and the whole "fate of the universe" stuff, both the president and Hammond realized we have no choice. He sends good luck, godspeed, and all those things he says when he thinks we're gonna die.

Maj. Carter

So what didn't they go for?

Col. O'Neill

The name I suggested.

Maj. Carter

For the ship?

Col. O'Neill

Yeah.

Maj. Carter

Yeah, sir, we can't call it the Enterprise.

Col. O'Neill

Why not?!

Maj. Carter

The project codename is Prometheus. What's wrong with that?

Col. O'Neill

It's a Greek tragedy. Who wants that?

Teal'c

Replicators exist merely to increase their numbers and do so without prejudice. They are no more evil than a virus.

Col. O'Neill

A really evil virus.

Thor

If in fact you are reconsidering...

Col. O'Neill

No, no. I full well expected the other shoe to drop.

Thor

We can only hope that this will be the last footwear to fall.

We are inside your unconscious mind now.

Col. O'Neill

You'd think there'd be more lights on.

Maj. Carter

What was the command?

Thor

To come forth.

Jonas

You instructed every Replicator out there to come to you?

Col. O'Neill

I have a theory why you lost the war.

Maj. Carter

You only saw a flash of this creature. Are you sure it wasn't a hallucination?

Jonas

You're suggesting I'm delusional?

Col. O'Neill

No, no. it's just possible you were seeing something that wasn't entirely... Yes, that's what we're suggesting.

So what planet are they from?

Col. O'Neill

Who?

The aliens.

Col. O'Neill

Oh! A place called Melmac.

Isn't that where Alf was from?

Col. O'Neill

Who?

Alf. You know, on TV? The puppet?

Col. O'Neill

[deadpan] Never saw it.

Sen. Kinsey

You need this as much as I do. The only way you're going to get public vindication is if the two of us appear on the six o'clock news, shaking hands.

Col. Jack O'Neill

Yeah... I'm not sure it's worth it.

Maybourne

(eating hot dog) I helped myself, I hope you don't mind.

Col. O'Neill

You're eating my dog.

Maybourne

(chewing) You want it back?

Col. O'Neill

You want some beer to wash it down?

Maybourne

Already got some.

Col. O'Neill

What are you doing here?

Maybourne

I can't go back. I'd rather die here than spend the rest of my life in jail.

Col. O'Neill

Yeah, um, I've been giving that some thought. I think you've suffered enough. Hell, I even got to shoot you.

Maybourne

Twice.