Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Maybourne

Nothing I like more than a good wiener.

Col. O'Neill

Yes, you are what you eat.

Teal'c

Are you able to translate any of this, Jonas Quinn?

Jonas

It's not Ancient but it's definitely a language belonging to one of the races of the Ancient alliance.

Col. O'Neill

Nox? Asgard?

Jonas

Furlings.

Col. O'Neill

Oh no, not those guys.

Jonas

What?

Col. O'Neill

Oh I don't know, I just can't imagine cute little furry things making big powerful weapons, that's all.

Jonas

I don't even know what they look like.

Col. O'Neill

Furling. Sounds cute and fuzzy to me.

Teal'c

The Celts were formidable warriors in their time. Their descendants may make valuable allies.

Col. O'Neill

You've seen Braveheart too often.

Col. O'Neill

[To Carter looking through the telescope] Lots of interesting nebulous things going on?

Maj. Carter

Yes, sir.

Col. O'Neill

[Looks into the telescope] I don't see squat.

Maj. Carter

Well, you wouldn't, sir, during the day.

Jonas

[Over the radio] Colonel, Major. You have to see this.

Col. O'Neill

Okay. You'll have to let us know where you are.

Jonas

Right. Ah, head east.

Col. O'Neill

What's that?

Tretonin, sir.

Jonas

The drug the Pangarans offered us?

Col. O'Neill

Whoa! That's ground Goa'uld, isn't it?

Jacob Carter

It's a little more refined than that, Jack...

There's no redundancy for that particular system.

Col. O'Neill

So, you're saying there's no redundancy.

Teal'c

Yet it is happening.

Col. O'Neill

Yet it is.

Teal'c

Are you still having visions, Jonas Quinn?

Jonas

Not since the surgery, no.

Col. O'Neill

So, no lottery numbers...

Jonas

[smiling] 'Fraid not

Col. O'Neill

No trip to Vegas, just you and me...

You are the Tau'ri of Stargate Command.

Col. O'Neill

And you are Lord Mot. Come to punish us for our insolence, yada, etcetera, et al.

That is correct.

Col. O'Neill

Well, Mr. Mot. We're onto you. We know what you've got planned and we've informed the Tok'ra. If we don't report back on schedule, they're gonna rat you out, they'll tell your boss, they'll snitch on ya.

Col. O'Neill

I’m sure that was an aspirin I took this morning.

Daniel Jackson

Jack, it’s really me. It’s me, you have to help, you have to find the Eye of Ra before Anubis does. Keep it, hide it, destroy it, whatever, it doesn’t matter, we don’t have much time.

Col. O'Neill

Hey Daniel, how you doing? Long time. How are things on the higher planes?

Daniel Jackson

[sighs, decides to play along] Hey Jack, long time no see. How you doing?

Col. O'Neill

Fine, just fine.

Daniel Jackson

How are the knees, the back? Everything’s..

Col. O'Neill

Oh you know, weather contingent...

Daniel Jackson

So what’s new?

Col. O'Neill

Ah actually a funny thing happened to me, today, I’m riding an elevator and an old friend of mine, someone who never calls, never writes just shows up and tells me all about this very important and apparently urgent mission that needs my attention.

Daniel Jackson

You gonna help or…

Col. O'Neill

Wait! Let me tell it, it’s good! You see this buddy of mine, this pal, this chum has ascended to a whole new level of existence. Do you see the irony? He’s asking for my help and he’s this great and powerful being.

Daniel Jackson

The Others have rules; just talking to you is a violation.

Col. O'Neill

What, like jay walking, double parking, what?

Col. O'Neill

So... you seeing anyone?

Maybe.

Col. O'Neill

Really? Is it serious?

Maybe. We are betrothed.

Col. O'Neill

Trust me, that’s serious. Congratulations!

Thank you.

Col. O'Neill

I assume my invitation got lost in the mail or..?

I wanted to ask you to sha’loki. To stand beside me.

Col. O'Neill

Just during the ceremony right?

Yes, yes.

Col. O'Neill

I’d be honoured.

Will you becoming to my wedding alone? [Sam walks up]

Col. O'Neill

Ah... I assume Carter’s invited too?

Of course. Will you becoming together?

Col. O'Neill

As in?

Maj. Carter

Friends going to a wedding.

Col. O'Neill

[Uncomfortable] Right. Sure. [pause] Jonas? [walks away] [Skaara and Sam share a knowing smile]

Col. O'Neill

[to Her'ak, regarding Anubis] Don't forget to tell him you screwed up again!

Jonas

Is it really necessary to further antagonize him?

Col. O'Neill

Yes.

Dr. Jackson

Oma's here watching me.

Col. O'Neill

And?

Dr. Jackson

And I don't care any more.

Major Carter

The only thing we can assume is that Anubis didn't keep his deal with Daniel.

Col. O'Neill

That's a shock, eh?