Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Hamilton

Colonel O'Neill doesn't have a clue what we're trying to accomplish here, he's too busy polishing his M16.

Col. O'Neill

Actually, it's a P90.

Hamilton

When I agreed to this assignment I was under the impression that I was going to be in charge.

Col. O'Neill

You are in charge. Of the other scientists.

Maj. Carter

Sir, I'd like you to meet Cadet Hailey.

Col. O'Neill

Cadet. Welcome to 862. How was your trip?

[in shock] It was a...a trip, sir.

Col. O'Neill

It always is.

I've been going over Dr. Thompson's astronomical observations. Did you know this moon wasn't even formed from the original accretion disk of the planet?

Col. O'Neill

No, but I suspected.

Col. O'Neill

As soon as I get the Gate open, head straight for it. Don't bring anything with you.

Dr. Hamilton

Oh no we can't leave behind weeks of research.

Col. O'Neill

Carter, if he so much as brings a file folder, shoot him!

Maj. Carter

Yes Sir.

Col. O'Neill

[To Teal'c] You look tense.

Dr. Jackson

No, I'd say anxious.

Teal'c

I am neither tense nor anxious. Perhaps concerned.

What's it doing? [About the MALP]

Maj. Carter

Flying, sir.

Col. O'Neill

MALPs can't fly.

Dr. Jackson

Apparently they can.

Col. O'Neill

Shouldn't there be a memo on this stuff?

Dr. Jackson

They may be trying to communicate.

Col. O'Neill

They?

Dr. Jackson

Well, whoever they are.

Col. O'Neill

Exactly.

Dr. Jackson

What?

Col. O'Neill

Any idea what that was?

Maj. Carter

None, Sir. The secondary systems are up and running but that was one hell of an EM spike. I'd like to run a full systems diagnostic on the main computer.

Yeah, after I treat this hand.

Maj. Carter

As soon as I get the systems up…

It is a very bad burn, Sam.

Maj. Carter

Five minutes.

Now!

Col. O'Neill

Do as the Doctor says.

Maj. Carter

Yes, Sir.

Thank you Colonel. You, Daniel and Teal'c are next.

What? We're…I'm fine.

Yeah well I would like to be the judge of that. Some form of energy came through the Stargate. I think it's only prudent to make sure there are no physiological effects to those exposed. ASAP.

Col. O'Neill

Who put her in charge?

The US Air Force.

Teal'c

In medical matters, Dr. Fraiser may overrule those of any rank.

Col. O'Neill

I'm not getting all my memos.

Teal'c, do you recognize any of this?

Teal'c

I do not, General Hammond.

Daniel?

Dr. Jackson

I don't recognize it either.

Col. O'Neill

Nope, neither do I. [Everyone looks at him] I'm just sayin'.

Stand by for a base wide systems power down. Powering down.

Col. O'Neill

[everything shuts down and the camera stops following O'Neill] Hey!

Col. O'Neill

Carter! Emergency lighting?

Maj. Carter

In the MALP room, yes, sir, a small power usage anomaly. General Hammond said we should check it out before we resume normal operations.

Col. O'Neill

Forget to change a light bulb, Siler?

Not my job, sir. Yes sir, light bulb, very amusing.

Dr. Jackson

It's obviously fighting to survive.

Col. O'Neill

So do bacteria.

Maj. Carter

It's trying to communicate.

Col. O'Neill

So do bact…

What in God's name?!

Col. O'Neill

Well, General, whatever got into our computers apparently has built a nest.

Colonel O'Neill, it was my understanding that the robots agreed to bury their Stargate and never leave their planet.

Col. O'Neill

Yes sir.

Then it would seem your robot counterpart is equally as good at following orders as you.