Jack O&#039;Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

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[Bra'tac is looking SG-1 down]

You, you are among the warriors who defeated the palace guard at Chulak? A human woman?

Hey, I'll have you know that I kicked my--

[to Jackson] And you? A warrior of great skill and cunning? I could snap you like kindling. [to Teal'c] How could you bring these ha'sak with you?

Col. O'Neill

Hey, who you calling a hassick? [pause] What's a hassick?

You challenge me, fool?

Col. O'Neill

Uh, no, we didn't come to fight you.

A shame.

[Bra'tac swings his staff weapon at O'Neill, who uses it to knock him to the ground]

Col. O'Neill

We're here on a mission. If you don't want to be a part of it, just say so.

You choose your friends well Teal'c. Though were I a hundred years younger, it might not have been quite so easy.

Col. O'Neill

You're over a hundred years old? God, I'm sorry.

[O'Neill extends a hand to Bra'tac, who pulls him to the ground with ease]

One hundred and thirty three.

Col. O'Neill

You must work out.

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Teal'c

If we are caught, you will be brought before Apophis along with us.

Col. O'Neill

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

No. The bridge is too well guarded.

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Col. O'Neill

Here's the plan--

I will lead. You will follow.

Col. O'Neill

Right.

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[At a wake being held for Daniel, O'Neill, frustrated and angry, has just broken a window on Gen. Hammond's car]

GHGen. Hammond

You know, that's my car, don't you?.

Col. O'Neill

You should get that window fixed.

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Col. O'Neill

About that apartment...

Oh, you didn't!

The, um, day after the memorial service.

Memorial service?

Yeah. Colonel said some nice things.

H-he did. [pause] He did?

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I am Hathor. You would be wise to unbind us and kneel before your goddess.

Col. O'Neill

[looks down] Hello.

Hathor?

Yes.

Col. O'Neill

You've heard of her?

Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music.

Col. O'Neill

Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll?

In a manner of speaking.

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May we take your hand?

GHGen. Hammond

[suspiciously] Why?

We wish to kiss it. To bless you with fertility and joy.

Col. O'Neill

Well, you can't pass that up, sir.

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You, with the crown of marble!

Col. O'Neill

[to Hammond] She might mean you, sir.

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Dr. Fraiser

[inspecting Goa'uld slime] Maybe we'll at least get a cellular level analysis on the Goa'ulds, maybe we'll even find some DNA information.

[uncomfortably] A lot of that will probably be mine.

Col. O'Neill

Ew.

Yeah.

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So, what exactly are we going to see after this eclipse begins? I mean, it is black, and it is a hole...

Col. O'Neill

Well, it might be a black hole.

Okay. Let me put that a different way...

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You can actually see matter spiralling towards it..

Col. O'Neill

Actually, it's called the Accretion disc.

You can see why the local population would be afraid of i...What did you just say?!

Col. O'Neill

It's just an astronomical term.

You didn't think the colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighbors did you?

Col. O'Neill

[to Teal'c] not initially...

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That's interesting. I wonder if everyone's coming from some religious event.

Col. O'Neill

Why does it always have to be a religious thing with you? Maybe they're coming from a swap meet.

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Col. O'Neill

Has it ever occurred to anyone that he might not be guilty?

BWByrsa woman

If was not guilty, there would be no Cor-ai.

Col. O'Neill

Innocent until proven guilty. Ever heard of it?

Actually, throughout history the idea's pretty rare. Most cultures usually assume things the other way around. [O'Neill gives Jackson a very angry look] I'm just saying.

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You sure you're up to this?

Col. O'Neill

Why? You don't think I am?

Well, it's—it's just that I've never actually heard you referred to as a diplomat. I think, um, "antagonist" was the word used.

Col. O'Neill

But I'm his commanding officer. It comes with the turf.