Incidental 85 quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Make mine extra mushy.

SpongeBob

Oh, boy! Something for me to clean up. [starts cleaning it and Squidward is standing next to a rope which he is about to cut]

Squidward

April Fools! [laughs as he cuts the rope which grabs SpongeBob]

SpongeBob

Whoa! [the rope sends him into some bags of flour. Squidward is laughing through all of this and rolls on the floor. Then SpongeBob is taken around a bar] Whoa! Blblblblblblbl... [yells as he is sent slamming face-first into the wall]

Oh, no!

SpongeBob

Whoa! [The scene cuts to Squidward cheerleading, laughing, and jumping into the air. Then SpongeBob smashes into the ceiling]

Squidward

[runs and holds out his arms to catch SpongeBob] I'll catch you, SpongeBob. [giggles to himself. SpongeBob shouts as he plummets toward Squidward, who quickly sets out a garbage can in front of him, and SpongeBob falls into the goop in the can] Oops. [dumps SpongeBob, who is now the shape of the can, out of the garbage can] April Fools, you little sausage. [laughs]

SpongeBob

Awww! [starts to cry and runs out of the Krusty Krab]

Squidward

SpongeBob, I was just kidding. C'mon, c'mon. You guys know I was just kidding... Right?

Aww, man, poor kid.

That guy has definitely got some issues to work out. [the customers angrily glare at Squidward as they begin to leave]

April Fools, jerk. [all the customers storm out the door in disgust as Squidward starts to look upset by their reaction]

Squidward

Wait, don't go.

Hey, you stink!

Squidward

Wait, wait, wait. It was a joke! Uh-huh... [looks around at the mess he has made and winces, then he looks at Bubble Bass, who has a hole in his bottom due to the "prank" and Squidward starts to feel ashamed of himself] Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong? I didn't mean to make him cry. I guess this means I'd better tell SpongeBob I'm sor-eaach. [makes silly face] Huh? I guess this means I'd better apolo- [throat goes haywire] gii! This is gonna be tougher than I thought.

SpongeBob

What would we do with Squidward?

Squidward

I gotta try to relax. Perhaps I can drown out their childish games with a little TV...

It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly.

The equation is illustrated here by zis box.

I couldn't afford a present this year... so I got ya this box. [holds up a box]

That's what I got you! [holds up another box]

Squidward

Isn't there anything on that isn't about boxes?!

And welcome back to Championship Boxing!

Squidward

Heh-heh, I guess this is okay. I mean, it's not really about boxes.

Squidward

I give up.

Hey, Carl, what have ya done with me restaurant?! Processed Krabby Patties? Computerized registers?!

Look around you. Our customers are quite content with the contrived, and the mediocre. [customer falls asleep, snoring]

That's because they don't know what they're eating. [grabs a pile of the gray sludge from the Krabby Patty making machine in the kitchen, then walks up to a customer] 'Scuse me, ma'am. Do you know what's in that Krabby Patty you're eatin'?

No.

See that? Without all your smoke and mirrors, no one would stomach this garbage!

What'd he say? Garbage?

[annoyed] Eugene, you're in violation of your contract.

Rules! Here's a rule for ya: people can't eat stain glass barstools! [throws barstool into the big screen TV out of rage and takes the cash register to the kitchen] I'll show you automated! [runs off to the kitchen]

[calls on his walkie-talkie] Mr. Blandy? Code red! Free thinker!

Mr. Krabs, is there a problem here?

You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground ya walked on, Blandy! But after seein' this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time!

Not on a conveyor belt!

Oh my...

Does this mean I won't get that raise, sir?

[he looks at the restaurant which is destroyed by the gray meat] It's ruined!

We'll have to sell it. We'll be lucky if we get a fraction of what we paid for it. [Mr. Krabs drives up with boat full of suitcases]

I'll buy it for full price!

Sold. We won't need your contract anymore. [rips off the contract] Nice doing business with you.

Pleasure's all mine. Now get out of me restaurant. [laughs while Howard Blandy and his friends walk away sadly in humiliation, leaving SpongeBob and Squidward] Well, we did it, boys. [puts the hats on them] The Krusty Krab is ours again. Ya know, in that fit of maniacal rage, I may have destroyed the restaurant, scared away all our customers, and forced us into bankruptcy because I returned nearly every penny I sold this stink heap for, but it was all worth it. And, I got back the love of me dear friends.

Squidward

Really, Mr. Krabs?

No, not really. Get back to work! [he hands them Spatula and the Mop. SpongeBob was glad while Squidward was annoyed, leaving Mr. Krabs, who now pushes the key to open the register and ends with dollar signs, ending the episode]

SpongeBob

Here's your Krabby Patty! [puts his Krabby Patty on the table and holds up his tray] Shall I put it on your tab?

Patrick

Oh, yeah. Keep it open. We might be here all night! Let me just say up front, I'm a fan! I'm excited to learn from a master. My career in self-worth are in your hands! Let us writing on this. Okay... advise!

Squidward

[sighs and gets up] Why don't you just concentrate on your patty? [leaves]

Patrick

[looks at his patty] Of course, it's so obvious now! How did I not see it earlier? Squidward's a genius! I know now what I must do! [reaches in his pocket for googly eyes and puts them on the patty, admiring his masterpiece.]

[pops out of the ketchup bottle] Brilliant! [hands Patrick a bag full of money] I've never seen such an example of raw creativity! This will turn the art world on its head! I hereby declare this the next big thing! [echoes. The customers swarm the Krusty Krab and hold up their money]

SpongeBob

You did it, Patrick! You found your inspiration!

Patrick

[holds up his money bag] And I'm going to need some more of those patty thingies!

SpongeBob

You got it, buddy! [jumps into the kitchen and flips some patties, which fly out to Patrick. Patrick decorates a patty and gives it to Tom, who gives him another money bag]

Huh? [hears cha-ching] Ooh, money! Money, money, money, money, money, money, money! [opens the cash register and notices it's empty, then gasps] What the? [gasps again and notices customers giving money to Patrick and SpongeBob giving him patties] SpongeBob! [grabs SpongeBob] Patrick! [grabs Patrick and pulls both of them into his office] What's the meaning of this?

Patrick

It's my art. Uh, I buy Krabby Patties for $3 and I..I sell them for $50. [Mr. Krabs gets mad with a growling animal sound. SpongeBob and Patrick get worried and cry]

Squidward

Ha and ha!

Patrick

Why is he so mad, Squidward? I was just following your advice!

What?! [to Squidward, angrily] It was your idea, huh?!

SpongeBob

Here's a whole new batch of Krabby Patty canvases.

Great, SpongeBob! [to Incidental 41] That'll be fifty bucks!

[hands Mr. Krabs money] It's so inexpensive!

And here's your patty! One more art patty, Mr. Star!

It's such an honor to meet you!

Patrick

[takes the patty] I can only imagine! Apprentice! [turns to Squidward] Make another of my masterpieces, good man. [Squidward grabs the patty and squirts glue on the top bun] If you work real hard, you may be an artist too someday! [Squidward growls at Patrick. Patrick looks at the patty.] Mm, probably not. Needs more glitter. [Squidward breaks down bawling, ending the episode]

[Walks up to SpongeBob and Squidward and blows a raspberry] Hey! [Blows a raspberry] You're those weirdos that have been [blows a raspberry] chasing me around town. [blows a raspberry.]

Squidward

Why were you waving at us and then running away?

Huh? [blows a raspberry] I can't [blows a raspberry] understand your accent. [blows a raspberry]

SpongeBob

I'll handle this, Squidward. I speak fluid Rock Bottom-ish. Why [blows a raspberry] were you [blows a raspberry] waving at us? [blows a raspberry]

I wasn't [blows a raspberry] waving at you. [blows a raspberry] I was [blows a raspberry] drying out my armpits. [SpongeBob holds up a fresh Krabby Patty to him and he gasps. He smells it and becomes surprised.]

SpongeBob

We just wanted to [blows a raspberry] sell you a hot [blows a raspberry] delicious Krabby Patty. [blows a raspberry]

It does look [blows a raspberry] tasty.

We're gonna sell a patty. [both blow raspberries. A large bus drives in and knocks away their food truck.] Huh? [Several Rock Bottomites walk off the bus while blowing raspberries. They go into the Rock Bottom cemetery, jump into coffins, and close them. Several clowns also walk off the bus and enter the circus while blowing raspberries. They walk into a small clown car which then drives away.]

[walks off the bus] Hey, Bert. [blows a raspberry] Too bad you couldn't [blows a raspberry] come with us on our yearly trip to the [blows a raspberry] Krusty Krab, [blows a raspberry] but here's your Krabby Patty. [He blows a raspberry and hands a Krabby Patty to Incidental 211]

Thanks, Frank. [blows a raspberry] But you know how long these pits take to dry. [blows a raspberry] Sorry, fellas. [blows a raspberry] I'd love to buy a patty from ya, but I already have a whole bag. [He eats the patty. SpongeBob and Squidward groan and melt.]

Patrick

Ooh! My new rock is finally here![Patrick slides down from his rock and runs over to open it. Patrick rips off the wrapping paper whole and the package is revealed to be a pink rock with green polka dots on it with a bronze arrow-shaped weather vane on top, then puts his hands on his hips while looking suspicious] Hold on! [Patrick jumps up onto the rock and puts his glasses on] Polka dots?! I ordered plaid! [Patrick takes his glasses off and throws them away.] You'll have to take it back, Mr. Mailman.

[still struggling to hold up the rock] Ugh! Back? [The rock crushes the mailman and letters come flying out. Patrick lifts up the rock and the mailman is flattened into the ground with black eyes.]

Patrick

Mr. Mailman?

My back! [Patrick picks up the mailman and puts his hat to his mouth and blows into it like a balloon. The mailman is back to normal and Patrick puts him back down feet first on the ground and the mailman is groaning in pain]

Patrick

[while adjusting the mailman's hat] You okay, buddy?

Gotta... deliver... mail.

Patrick

You are in no shape to deliver anything, fella. Just relax and [throws the mailman to Patrick's rock] crash at my place. I'll deliver your mail for you today.