[gasps upon seeing Patrick's ugly drawing of Mrs. Puff] "Big Fat Meanie"?? Patrick, you can't do that! She's the teacher!
Mrs. PuffWhat about the teacher? [grabs Patrick's drawing of her. She then appears identical to Patrick's drawing in anger] As if I really look like this?! SpongeBob, I believe you know the punishment for two classroom disruptions!
Mrs. Puff
I’m sorry, SpongeBob, but if one wishes to be a good noodle, one must behave like a good noodle.
I'm a good noodle! I'm a good noodle!
Mrs. Puff
You will get this star back when you earn it.
Nooo! [Mrs Puff removes his star while he jumps up and down on his chair, hits his head on the desk.]
No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! [The star gets removed and SpongeBob faints on the floor]
Mrs. Puff, is it nap time?
Mrs. Puff
SpongeBob, I've have enough of your nonsense. Now, let me see, collect your things, and move to the available desk somewhere in the back of the room.
Mrs. Puff
Because the Big Fat Meanie said so. Now go.
[mad] Thanks a lot, Patrick.
Sure thing, buddy. [SpongeBob walks to the back. His classmates are staring at him]
Well, I guess I can be a good noodle from back here... [Mrs. Puff's voice is receding as SpongeBob tries to listen from the back] It's so hard to hear! What kind of student sits back here anyway? [reads the writing on the desk] 'Skool is 4 Chumps'? [shivers] Where am I?
[whispering] Psst, SpongeBob?
[to himself] Just ignore him, SpongeBob, if you can.
[to himself] Whatever you do, don't look at him.
Psst, SpongeBob! [throws ball of paper] Psst, SpongeBob! [throws a book at SpongeBob] SpongeBob? [spits a bunch of spitballs on SpongeBob's face] SpongeBob? Psst, over here. I'm trying to tell you something. Something important!
[covered in spitballs] What...?!
HIIIIIIIIII?!?! [growls, removing all the spitballs, then stops when he sees Mrs. Puff angry, covered in the spitballs]
Mrs. Puff
Perhaps this would be a good time for recess.
[The scene changes to show Sandy's treedome. The scene then shows her reading a book in a rocking chair in her tree. She hears a noise, which is SpongeBob and Patrick's laughter. She checks to see what it is, but there is supposedly nothing there. She gets up and goes to her window.]
Huh? [the outside of her tree is shown] Well, that's funny, I thought I heard voices. Huh? [walks up to a glass of juice on the floor] I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table. [walks over to a table with a lamp covered in garbage] And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Patrick?!
[Photos of Patrick are on the walls and tables, and the rug has his face on it. Sandy turns around and sees SpongeBob and Patrick covered in white sheets over their heads as they wail.]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
We're ghosts.
[SpongeBob and Patrick wail again. Sandy laughs.]
I knew it was you guys! Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets. [pulls off the sheets and notices there is nothing there, then gasps] It is ghosts!
[Sandy shrieks. She takes out a remote with a large red button. She presses the button and an escape pod that is in the shape of an acorn appears out of some panels. She enters the escape pod and presses a button. The escape pod flies out of her dome, above the water, past the Bikini Bottom island, and lands in Texas. The escape pod explodes in Texas. SpongeBob and Patrick leave Sandy's house, laughing.]
Boy, we really scared her!
[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.]
Who's gonna be our next victim?
A better question would be, "Who isn't?"
[The scene changes to show Mrs. Puff's house, where she is preparing to eat a piece of cake.]
Mrs. Puff
Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake! [laughs] You will soon be mine. [Patrick and possibly SpongeBob eat(s) the cake, making it look like ghosts have eaten it. Patrick's face is covered in cake. He belches loudly and wipes it off] Oh! [gets filled up with air and then lets it out flying all around] Ghosts!
[Her deflated body lands on the table.]
FMr. Fitz
Well, if there was a "destroy the city" part of the test, you would have.
[takes pants off SpongeBob's head] The nerve of some people.
FMr. Fitz
Sorry, SpongeBob, you failed again. Even our finest instructor could not teach you. Mrs. Puff, you're hired again.
[at boating school] Hey, Mrs. Puff! Sorry I'm "unteachable."
Mrs. Puff
It's okay. Mr. Fitz gave me my teaching certificate back. [sniffles, holds up a burnt, charred object] And your dossier was destroyed in the explosion, [voice breaking] so it's as if you never failed.
I got you a welcome back gift, Mrs. Puff. [shows name tag] I found all the pieces and glued them back together. I promise it won't take me a million tries this time.
[Mrs. Puff puts her head down on her desk and begins to sob quietly, and the name tag shatters as the episode ends]
I assure you, I am well rested and ready to learn. Who knows, Mrs. Puff? Before the day is out you may have learned something yourself. [Mrs. Puff smells SpongeBob's odor and sprays "Shower in a Can" on him and he smells better] Hey, Mrs. Puff?
Mrs. Puff
Yes, SpongeBob?
Mrs. Puff
Made what?
[holds out a model of a boat so small it is practically a dot on his hand] This - the H.M.S. Pinafore! At 1:8,427th scale of course.
Mrs. Puff
SpongeBob, I don't know how, [her face turns into a smile] but you did it. You saved us all. Let's get off this thing. [Cut into a scene where they get off the ship] And the way you pulled the anchor out, genius! I never thought I'd say this, but here's your driver's license. [SpongeBob screams and slowly grabs the license]
TDTugboat driver
What are you doing here? [SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff look] No one should be on board while I'm tugging the museum into port.
Mrs. Puff
You mean, he's not driving this thing at all?
TDTugboat driver
Heck, no! [Mrs. Puff rips the license, SpongeBob saddens and pulls off the hat, looking at it; to SpongeBob] Now, don't get so down, kid! Look, for your false bravery, I'm giving your honorary Sea Legs, okay? Come on, let me buy you an ice cream. [the boat alarms softly which cuts to the scene where the headlights are on]
Oh, gosh. [chuckles] Headlights are on! [runs back into the ship]
PTMrs. Puff & Tugboat driver
Don't touch anything, you twit! [SpongeBob gets back on the boat]
TDTugboat driver
Run! [The ship flips sideways]
Mrs. Puff
[inflates then turn to SpongeBob who pops up beside her] Good thing you studied. [Episode ends]
[SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff crash through the wall of the house, thereby wrecking the TV]
TFTeenage Fish #1 and #2
[chuckling despite the 3-D movie gone from the TV] Wow!
Mrs. Puff
I think it's safe to say you have once again [gives the driving test paper to SpongeBob with a big red 'F' imposing the sheet] failed your driving test! [SpongeBob sadly looks at the paper as the teenage fish laugh at him]
Mrs. Puff
No buts, SpongeBob! You fail this test over and over. I'm beginning to think you are simply... [gets in his face] unteachable. [teenage fish laugh again] Now, get out of my sight.
[SpongeBob shakes and begins to look upset]
I...I... [bawling violently at Mrs. Puff as the tears blow out of his eyes] I-I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff...!
[SpongeBob runs off crying in despair as Mrs. Puff growls]
Hey, where'd the new instructor go? Oh, well, I still have ten minutes left on my driving lesson. [singsong] Oh, Mrs. Puff?
[Mrs. Puff whimpers and her eyes widen. She freaks out and runs over to the solitary confinement cell, knocking on the doors.]
Mrs. Puff
I'll confess to anything! Throw away the key! It's not safe out here! Let me in!
[Three police cars fall and crash behind SpongeBob.]
OOfficers
Drive safely, and always wear your seat belt!
[Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff fight each other again. However, now that Neptune's Moon is gone, they both revert themselves back into their regular forms. But unfortunately, the effects of Neptune's Moon also caused their respective clothing to dissolve into nothingness, thus leaving them naked]
KPMr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff
Oops. [cover themselves in embarrassment and run off laughing]
[Larry reverts back to his regular form as well. But he is also naked. He picks up a flower and uses it as a loincloth. Then he walks away. Pearl and Squidward continue fighting above Sandy's treedome. They both revert back to their regular forms. However, they're also naked as well. Pearl spits Squidward out from her mouth]
What is going on here? [gasps] MY CLOTHES! [screams and runs away]
[screams and runs away as she is naked] NO!
[SpongeBob and Patrick revert back to the regular forms, but they're also naked as well]
[SpongeBob pulls himself off of Sandy's suit. Patrick giggles and falls off of Sandy's helmet. SpongeBob looks around and sees Sandy's treedome destroyed]
Um, Sandy, how come your treedome is broken and everyone's naked?
Well, SpongeBob, let's just say this has been the most interesting birthday I ever had.
And, of course, Neptune's Moon is always followed by Neptune's Sun.
[The ground shakes. Neptune's Sun comes out of a volcano and shines its light on Sandy. The light then transforms Sandy into a realistic land squirrel. It appears that Neptune's Sun only effects land creatures while Neptune's Moon only effects sea creatures. Sandy chitters and crawls around inside her suit]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
You don't see that everyday. Jinx! Buy me a patty!
[They both laugh as Sandy chitters]
[angry along with the others in the mob] Puff! Your blasted lighthouse destroyed the whole town! [becomes sad] And me restaurant!
Mrs. Puff
[shocked] My lighthouse?!
EMThe entire mob
What are you going to do about it?!
Mrs. Puff
[puts on her headphones, turns on her radio, and starts rocking again] Talk to the fin! [The snails come out of the box, and rock with her as well as the episode ends]
Gal Pals, we have to save SpongeBob!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
[whimpering] Gal Pals. [The girls break through the front door to rescue SpongeBob. But, to their relief and surprise, the old lady turns out to be a sales lady giving SpongeBob pinecones on a stick.]
Wow! [the old lady gives SpongeBob a pinecone on a stick] Ooh, another pinecone on a stick! I love it. [takes it and gets another one from the old lady] Wow! [takes another pinecone on a stick] I'm gonna get one of these for each of the Gal Pals.
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
[confused] Huh?
[laughs in relief] It's only a cabin-to-cabin country sales lady. Not Flibberty Gibbet at all.
FGFlibberty Gibbet
[off-screen] Did someone say my name? [the girls turn and see her for real this time] Hi, gals!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
Flibberty Gibbet! [scream in horror as they run out of the cabin and into the woods]
FGFlibberty Gibbet
I—I just wanted to say all's forgiven!
[follows the girls] Hey, wait! You'll need my lucky peanut!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
Gal Pals! [crash onto the screen] [The words "The End" is shown and the episode ends.]
[sees the mashed potatoes with Mrs. Puff's hat and wig on it covered in gravy and gasps in terror] Mrs. Puff, you've been mashed! [starts crying; he rips out his eyes and uses them to blow his nose, he puts them back in and lies on the ground as his eyes turn into geysers of blue tears as he continues to cry]
Mrs. Puff
[walks up to crying SpongeBob, puts on her hat with wig] Ahem.
[stops crying] Huh? She's alive! [hugs Mrs. Puff]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
