Abrasive SpongeBob quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob

We need a title that sounds Dramatic!

SpongeBob

Pearl? I don't think this is the Tunnel of Glove... it's the Tunnel of EVIL!!!!

SpongeBob

And so it's come to this. No home, no best friend, and sleeping under a bus stop. [a nematode pops out of the ground] Hello, little nematode. Will you be my friend? [the nematode crawls onto SpongeBob's arm] Atta boy. [the nematode crawls onto SpongeBob's arm] That tickles! [the nematode emerges with his wallet] Hey, my wallet! Good thing I cancelled those credit cards.

SpongeBob

[after seeing a truck, he hides Senor Poopus behind his back, run and trips over a snail, and falls face flat in the sand. He emerges with his face full of sand and disfigured like Quasimodo] Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Everybody in. Everybody in!

SpongeBob

Patrick, you are making very poor choices!

SpongeBob

Showdown? I can't fight in a showdown! I'll have to go into the Witness Protection program, [goes through pictures of The Krusty Krab] I'll have to quit working at The Krusty Krab, I'll never flip a succulent Krabby Patty ever again. Oh, what have I done? [notices a note next to Gary's food bowl and picks it up and reads it.] "Hey yo Sponge-o, we were in your neck of the woods and decided to pickup your beloved pet Gary, if you wanna see him you better hightail your porous caboose over to the showdown, sincerely Sharkface and the other Sharks", Gary! No! [runs through the wall and out of his house, but runs back and breaks through the door.] I have to save Gary, I have to go to the showdown! I have to get ready to fight! [puts on shades; gets 100% lard patty oil and dips his head in it, and then has some hair, he uses his hair to hit a punching bag, and then spins around two spatulas and slices almost everything in the room.] I'm ready!

SpongeBob

I'm afraid I can't do this anymore, Patrick. Unemployment may be fun for you, but I need to get a job.

SpongeBob

Hey, speaking of lost, where's Squidward?

SpongeBob

Go on, little clown. Oh, I mean "Mr. Little Clown"!

Spongebob

WOOOOOH! There is nothing better than spending 18 hours at Glove World.

SpongeBob

[looks at the monster jellyfish] Oh, hallo!

SpongeBob

Hmm, strange... There don't seem to be any baby items in here. Hmm... [looks in a cabinet to find not baby items but old-woman stuff] Okay, pills, pills, dentures, more pills, hemorrhoid cream. [closes the cabinet but then notices a little birthday note stuck on the bottom-left corner of the cabinet] "Happy birthday to mother on her 137th birthday." Aw. [gasps and realizes the truth] 137th BIRTHDAY!!?? [hyperventilating] Oh! Baby Prunes isn't a baby, she's an old lady!!!

SpongeBob

[looking around while the Krusty Krab languishes in a state of disaster] What do I do?! What do I do?! What do I do?!

SpongeBob

[shouting] EVERYBODY STOOOOOOOP!!!

SpongeBob

Galloping Garbage!

SpongeBob

My squiddy sense is tingling!