I just...I really need the support of my best friend right now.
Who's your best friend?
You are, Jimmy! We've always been best friends! We know everything about each other!
What's my last name?
[pause] Goddamn it.
“Tsst” · Season 10, Episode 7
In this episode: Eric Cartman (11), Liane (3), Stella (3), Kenny McCormick (1), Jimmy (1)
Goddamn it, Mom! I'm your son and you will listen to me!
CMCesar Millan
TSST!
Alright, I'll stay with Kenny. Let's go, man.
Fuck you.
I'm serious. Let's put down the video game and go to the kitchen.
[in British accent] No thanks, I'd rather naught.
It's the time-out stool. You can't get down until the time is up.
[looks at her, then hops off the stool] Whoa, how did I do that?
You're sterile, is that it? No, that's too convenient of an excuse. The truth is, nobody ever wanted to have babies with you. Isn't that it? Always the mom's maid and never the mom? Must be hard on you, knowing that the years are ticking away, your friends all getting married, and all the while your uterus is slowly shriveling away, drying up, becoming totally worthless.
[horrified] Why, you...you LITTLE BASTARD! How dare you?!
[calmly] Eric, naughty.
[picking Cartman up by the collar] What kind of monster would--
Yes, let the anger come! Strike me down while you can! But it won't make your dried-up ovaries any more fertile!
That's it! I'm not doing this!
Oh, but we really need some help.
Find yourself another nanny... television show!
DDoctor
I'm afraid Supernanny is in a deep state of mental psychosis.
What do you mean?
DDoctor
I mean, she spends most of her time sobbing and eating her own excrement.
[They look into room 23A, where Super nanny Jo is fishing poop out of her toilet and eating it]
JJo
From hell! It's from heeell!
SUCK MY FUCKING ASSHOLE TACO VENDOR!!!!
What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad? This is just like Auschwitz!
Yes! I've lost almost ten pounds now. You see what I mean? I totally know how it felt to be a Jew in the Holocaust now!
Stop trying to Bogart my Xbox, you fat bitch!
And then we'll go to Target, and...I'll buy you a Mega Ranger?
Could I have...two Mega Rangers?
You can have anything you want, dear.
[camera focuses on Cartman and Damien music plays]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.