My name is Harry Gints and this is my wife Elise. We're from Canada.
Yes, I can tell.
“It's Christmas in Canada” · Season 7, Episode 15
In this episode: Kyle Broflovski (9), Eric Cartman (5), Stan Marsh (5), Rick (5), Mime (4), Steve the Newfoundlander (3), Harry Gints (3), Saddam Hussein (2)
It was a tough time for us. It was a tough time for all of Canada. The whole country was devastated by the cola wars...
[referring to Ike] We're going to take good care of him.
[coldly] You'd better.
Kyle, I just want you to know, if it were any other time of year, I still wouldn't help you.
How 'bout we get rid of all the Mexicans.
Mr. Garrison, every Christmas you suggest we get rid of all the Mexicans, and every Christmas we tell you, "No!"
Rats!
[to Kyle] YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
What?
Everyone's gonna be charitable, and give money to your family instead of buying Christmas presents! YOU FUCKING JEWS RUIN CHRISTMAS AGAIN! [screams and charges Kyle. Stan and Kenny rush forward and pull him back]
Whoa, whoa, Cartman!
It wasn't enough for you people to kill Jesus, now you have to kill Christmas too, huh!?
City Wok. Mr. Tuong is sitting in an empty restaurant
Mr. Tuong{talking to himself}: Stupid Christmas. No one eat Chinese food.
Phone rings
TMr. Tuong
Oh boy, some business! Picks up phone Hello, Shitty Wok, wanna try our shitty pork?
Broflovski residence. Kyle called
Sorry, I must have called the wrong number. I was looking for City Airlines.
TMr. Tuong
Oh right. One moment please. I will put you through.
Mr. Tuong puts on pilot's cap and flips over sign. City Wok now reads City Airlines
TMr. Tuong
Herro, Shitty Airlines!
We need to go to Canada. As soon as possible.
TMr. Tuong
Ooh, Canada. Okay. That's pretty far. Gonna cost a Lotta money. Let's see. How many people?
Four.
TMr. Tuong
Okay. [under his breath] Four people...Canada...cost a Lotta money... [normal] It's gonna be about, uh, 6,500 dollars!
How 'bout 50 dollars?
TMr. Tuong
Fifty dollars?! You fry to Canada! Cost at least three thousand dollars!
55 dollars.
TMr. Tuong
Hey stop wasting my time with fifty five dollars. No way I take my plane to Canada for ress than 1,000 dollars!
Okay. 60 dollars.
TMr. Tuong
62 dollars.
Okay.
TMr. Tuong
Okay, meet me Park County Airfield, Yellow Sesnut, Tair Number 432-G.
Got it. [Both hang up phone]
TMr. Tuong
[slight pause] He he he. Never try to barter with a Chinese man!
TMr. Twong
Hello, welcome Shitty Airline!
Oh no, no, no, no, I am not flying in that thing.
Me neither.
Why not?!
'Cause, dude, I'll fucking die!
You're not gonna die, Kenny, don't be stupid!
You guys get Ike. Kenny and I will stay here and watch the fort.
No, you're both coming. Do you care about Christmas or not?
Of course I care about Christmas! Oh, Christ on a stick!
All right! We're going to Canada!
Weak.
TMr. Twong
Herro from the cockpit, this is your captain speaking. As you can see, it appears that we are going down. Now would be a good time to reflect on your life, and pray to whatever deity you believe in. Thank you for frying Shitty Airlines. We know you have a choice in airlines, and it looks like you made the wrong one.
RPRick, the Proud Canadian Mountie
Alright boys, prepare yourselves. We're about to enter French Canada.
French Canada?
FCFrench Canadians
[singing] There's no Canada like French Canada, its the best Canada in the land! The other Canada is hardly Canada; if you lived here for a day, you'd understand!
MMime
Oh, ha ha! Welcome to French Canada!
HPHockey Player
We have everything your heart could desire! Trapezes, trampolines, and lots and lots of cheese!
AArtist
Would you like a mustache?
RPRick, the Proud Canadian Mountie
Just stay calm, boys. French Canadians are a little odd.
Uh, we're just passing through to see the new Prime Minister.
MMime
Well first, you must answer that phone. [miming a phone call] Ring ring, ring ring.
We don't have time for this.
MMime
You cannot pass through French Canada unless you take that phone call! [miming a phone call] Ring ring, ring ring.
[grudgingly playing along] Hello.
MMime
Hello! If you are going to see the new Prime Minister, then I want to go with you! He has passed a new law forbidding us French Canadians to drink wine!
AArtist
How can the French not drink wine?! Travestie!
Okay, you can come with us.
MMime
Ha ha, very good! Let us make haste!
FCFrench Canadians
[singing] There's no Canada like French Canada, its the best Canada in the land! And the other Canada--
MMime
--is a bull shoot Canada!
FCFrench Canadians
[singing] If you lived there for a day, you'd understand!
MMime
I think you'd understand. You understand.
[Scott appears suddenly]
Hey, what are you doing?!
RPRick, the Proud Canadian Mountie
Argh!
MMime
Oh no! It's Scott!
What are you two doing helping these Americans? Don't you know America thinks it owns Canada along with the rest of the world?!
RPRick, the Proud Canadian Mountie
You're a dick, Scott!
God dammit, we need to get to the new Prime Minister, now!
Oh yeah, the new Prime Minister, eh? He sure has screwed up things for Newfoundland. Life just hasn't been the same since he made sodomy illegal.
Can we just get going please?
Yeah sure, there's just one problem.
What?
You folks are going the wrong way.
What?! But I thought there was only one road in Canada!
Yeah, and you all went the wrong direction on it.
RPRick, the Proud Canadian Mountie
Oh, that's right! Ottawa is that way!
MMime
Of course! Ottawa left, Newfoundland right!
RPRick, the Proud Canadian Mountie
It's okay, boys. The power is inside us to get to Ottawa! We can wish ourselves there!
MMime
Ah yes! Let's wish ourselves there!
[harps and angelic choir music is heard]
RPRick, the Proud Canadian Mountie
Is it working?
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