Toolshed quotes from South Park

Mysterion, if Cartman's gone why are we still calling ourselves "Coon and Friends"?

Because it pisses Cartman off beyond belief and I find that [laughs] extremely funny.

What's your superpower, Mysterion?

I can't die!

Oh, yeah, good one! Mysterion can't die and Iron Maiden is indestructible--

No, Stan, I'm being serious. I really, REALLY can't die!

Stan

(laughing) What?

Like last night in the alley! The cult leader stabbed me and I bled all over the place and you screamed "Oh, my God!" and you (indicates Human Kite) called him a bastard.

When was that?

All the time! I die all the time! And you assholes NEVER remember!

Stan

I think we would remember you dying, dude.

Well, you don't! I die over and over! Only to wake up in my bed like nothing happened.

Stan

Dude, you're freaking out Mint Berry Crunch. He's peed his pants.

No, no! Mint Berry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants!

(disappointed) I knew there is no point in telling you guys.

OK, dude, let's just say you're not crazy and it's true. What's the big deal? I mean, I think it'd be pretty cool not being able to die.

(furious) Pretty cool?! Do you know what it feels like to be stabbed?! To be shot? Decapitated? Torn apart? Burned? Run over?!!

Stan

Kenny, Kenny, calm down!

It's not pretty cool, Kyle! It fucking hurts! And it won't go away and nobody will believe me! Remember this time! Try and fucking remember!

[annoyed] You guys have no memory of me shooting myself in the head, do you?

[laughs] What?