Katie quotes from South Park ... TV Quotes Database

Lines by Katie 1

KKatie

I'm so excited and queefy!

Scenes with Katie 2

AAnnouncer

And now, the exciting conclusion of Terrance and Philip: Blood Rage... (a "Special Presentation" graphic appears onscreen)...will not be seen tonight so that we bring you this Queef Sisters special! (The "April Fools" graphic seen at the beginning of Not Without My Anus appears again, with the accompanying kazoo honk.) The Canada Channel presents... The Queef Sisters, Katie and Katherine Queef! Two Toronto girls who love shooting air out of their vaginas! (Cut to several stills of the titular sisters doing just that...)

(Cut to a gynecologist's office. The Queef Sisters are both in stirrups as the doctor comes in.)

DDoctor

All right, Queef Sisters! It's time for your yearly Pap smear and vag exam!

Katie (pleasantly: All right, Doctor!

Katherine (equally pleasant): I'm ready, Doctor! (The doctor walks over to Katherine.)

DDoctor

Now I'm just going to check for cysts... (he puts his head down between Katherine's legs, and not even two seconds later, she queefs, blowing his hair back. Repulsed) Ugh!(The sisters laugh, not unlike Terrance and Philip would.)

(Cut back to the kids watching this spectacle in disgust.)

Cartman (disgustedly): What the f**k is this?!

(Cut back to the gyno's office.)

Doctor (sternly): Now, listen here! If you queef in my face, then I refuse to be your gynecologist!

Katherine (apologetically): I'm sorry, Doctor, I had air trapped in my vagina.

DDoctor

Well, just don't let it happen again! Now, I'm just going to check for cysts. (Again, he assumes the position. Again, Katherine queefs. Again, they both laugh hysterically. Now he's really mad...) Now, stop it! That isn't funny! Babies come from there! (Once again, he assumes the position. Need we elaborate on what happens next? He slams down his notepad in disgust.) That does it! No Pap smear for you! (points at Katherine)

KKatherine

But, Doctor, what if I have cancer?

Doctor (unmoved): You should have thought about that before you queefed in my face three times!

(Cut back to the kids. They're even more confused and disgusted than before, but it's leaning more towards disgust.)

Butters (confused): They aren't gonna show Part Two of The Terrance and Philip Show?

(Back to the gyno's office.)

KKatie

Doctor, my sister's just being difficult. Maybe you could examine my cervix instead!

DDoctor

Well, all right...Now I'm just going to check for cysts... (You know the rest. Thoroughly repulsed, he throws down his notepad again.) That does it, Queef Sisters! I'm not your vaginal doctor anymore! (He storms out of the exam room, slamming the door behind him.)

Katherine (innocently): Oh, Katie, I do believe we made the doctor angry.

Katie (innocently): I guess so, Katherine... hhahahahaha

(Cut to the kids.)

Cartman

Dude! What the hell is this disgusting crap?

S13 E4 Eat, Pray, Queef

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(Cut to the Queef Sisters' bedroom. Philip is dodging various missiles being thrown at him by Katherine.)

PPhilip

You stupid bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you? (He ducks to avoid a vase as it smashes against the wall.)

KKatherine

I'm not your sex toy, you fucking pig! (She chucks another vase at Philip, who dodges that one as well.)

PPhilip

You don't queef in bed while we're having sex!

KKatherine

Fuck you, you don't fucking slap me! (The lights come on to reveal Terrance and Katie in the other bed.)

TTerrance

Can you please keep it down? We're trying to have sex over here!

PPhilip

She queefed while we were having sex, Terrance!

Terrance (thoroughly repulsed): SICK!!

Katie (gamely): Well, what's the big deal?. I've been queefing in this bed the entire time! (Terrance does a double-take.)

TTerrance

WHAT?!!! GROSS!!! (He slaps Katie.)

KKatie

How dare you!!! (She punches Terrance right in the face. Both women start pushing them to the door.)

Katherine (screeching hysterically): GET OUT! GET OUT, BOTH OF YOU!!! WE NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!! (They shove Terrance and Philip through the threshold and onto the porch.)'

Terrance (dumbfounded): After all we've been through? (He gets his answer from the door suddenly slammed in their face. The two sisters hug each other, crying and queefing in equal measure.)

(Cut to the porch. Terrance and Philip are smoking cigarettes and bemoaning their position.)

Terrance (sighing): What the hell am I going to do, Philip? She makes me so mad sometimes!

PPhilip

Katherine just won't stop queefing...but I don't know if could live without her...

(Cut back to the bedroom. The Queef Sisters are still crying and queefing, when Terrance and Philip come back in.)

Philip (contrite): Katie, I'm sorry. I was wrong.

Terrance (equally contrite): Me too, Katherine. I don't love your queefs, but dammit, I love you.

Katherine (runs to hug Terrance): Oh, Terrance...

Katie (doing the same with Philip): Philip! (Both couples get back in their respective beds and start getting their Canadian freak on, and soon the room is a cacophony of farts and queefs.)

S13 E4 Eat, Pray, Queef

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Katie quotes from South Park

Lines by Katie 1

Scenes with Katie 2

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