Grady quotes from Sonny With a Chance

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These pants are so skinny!

Tawni's pants are squishing my gluttons maxmi moola!

Grady

(stands up)I signed up for a Walk-a-Thon. Not to have my internal organs crushed by Tawni's jeans!

(walks out of the photo booth and trying to button her jeans) I want my mommy jeans back!

Grady

This is impossible.

We have to make this work! The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us is for us to wear her jeans because her fans will see on TV us wearing her jeans which will raise money for more books and less money for no books and everybody wins except Chad!!!!!! Hey now that I got that out I can button my pants.

Grady

Well good for you because I'm never getting these things on.

Me neither.

(walks in) Yes you will. Thanks to the Tawni Hart Butt Horn.

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Give it to me straight, doc! I can take it.

DDoctor

You have L.B.S.

(gasps) Leading Boy Syndrome?!

DDoctor

No. Lack of Book Syndrome! Also known as Lazy Butt Syndrome! LBS is also the abbreviation of pounds, (starts poking Chad), which is what you are going to gain if you don't stop watching yourself on T.V.

Can't you just cut my pants off? You know how you do?

DDoctor

Read two books, then call me in the morning, Mr. Cooper. (hands Chad a prescription)

(Looks at prescription) Actually it's Dylan Cooper.

DDoctor

Not anymore, I removed your Dylan while you were under.

NO! What did you do to it?!

DDoctor

I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it! (Opens curtains to reveal Grady)

DDoctor

Good afternoon, Mr. Grady Dylan Mitchell.

Grady

Just got my Dylan. I've been waiting for 2 years!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (cries) WHY?!

(Chad wakes up)

I must have fallen asleep reading. Stupid books. That was horrible! (closes book)

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So Random Cast: (sees Gassie dead) NO!

Please tell me he's sleeping.

Okay, he's sleeping.

DON'T LIE TO ME!!!

What did you do?

I don't know! It was going so well. I told him to sit and he sat. I told him roll over he rolled over. I told him to play dead HE DIED!

Grady

(feels Gassie's paws) You guys should feel this.

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Dakota

You have have very nice blue eyes.

Grady

Why thank you.

Dakota

It'd be a shame if you lost one of them!

Grady

Yeah it would.

Dakota

Now hand me to the Matador![Grady hands her to Nico]

Hola?

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Wow.

Grady

Yeah.

Marshall

Who knew?

She's great right?

It's opposite day.

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(singing) I've never, ever been to public school.

Oh no.

MMartha

What is she doing?

She's trying to tell us how miserable she is.

I never thought that it would be this cruel.

MMartha

By singing?

Looks like it.

(singing) It's endless. We're friendless.

Grady

(walks in and sings) It's nothing but pain.

Apparently the only high school these guys know is the musical one.

(singing) And no one in this dump knows our name.

Alright Martha, give me a boost.

MMartha

(helps Sonny up on a lunch table)

(singing) I know you think that this is probably my fault.

We do.

The catty comments and the constant assault.

Grady

It's cool.

I was here once and I'm still alive. So listen if you wanna survive (gets down) inside this-

SRSo Random Cast

High School Miserable.

I never I thought I'd be invisible.

SRSo Random Cast

This High School Miserable.

We got to keep being indivisible.

SRSo Random Cast

In this High School Miserable. Don't understand what's happening to me. In this High School Miserable. (stands on lunch tables) Someone get me back on T.V.

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AAnnouncer

On the next Mackenzie Stalls, backed up passions overflow.

I thought we were destined to be together. Now I can never forgive you. You left the toilet seat up!

Grady

It was a moment of weakness, but I'm not the only one with a secret shame.

(gasps) You mean?

Grady

Yes! You forgot to flush.

AAnnouncer

Lack of hygiene leads to lack of trust.

I can't hold it in anymore. Tell me the truth. Did you wash your hands?

Of course I did.

Lies! (slaps Nico)

Ohhh!

AAnnouncer

And someone didn't read the writing on stall.

You're not welcome here, Mackenzie.

Grady

Why? Because I'm richer than you?

No, because this is the girls bathroom.

Grady

(gasps) WHY?!?!?!?!

And you're zipper is open.

Grady

WHY?!?!?!?!?!

AAnnouncer

In a world flushed with drama, the number one show is now number two. Mackenzie Stalls.

Starring Chad Dylan Pooper.

(watching the sketch and becomes furious) Pooper?! Oh, it's on! Plunger! (catches a plunger thrown at him and walks away)

I told you that if we made fun of Mackenzie Falls on our show they would get back at us.

I don't care. Doing that Mackenzie Stalls sketch was worth getting plunged in the head.

Grady

Look at me. I'm a toilet unicorn.

Yeah, well at least you got the front half. (turns and there's a plunger on her butt)

You know what I think? Our humiliation calls for major retaliation. I'm talking glue,fire ants,and a sizzling fajita. Who's with me?

Chicken or Steak?

No. No more revenge. No more retaliation. No more fajitas.

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BMs.Bitterman

You have been paired up with the person you dislike the most.

Grady

I should be with Aquaman!

BMs.Bitterman

From reality.

BMs.Bitterman

Now, the minefield consists of various...

Moose dung!

BMs.Bitterman

There's other dung.

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Chloe

Poop to your left! Poop to your left!

Grady

I can't 'go' with people watching.

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Have you guys been breathing in too much bug spray? It looks like a wolf in a hoodie. Your Candy Face could be... anything?

Grady

Even Candy Face.

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Sonny! Sonny! We found her! She's over here!

(lying on the ground)

Grady

(helping Sonny up with Nico) How's she looking?

Terrible, so she must be okay.

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If you’ll excuse me, it’s time to say buenos noches to señor smoothie.(walks away)

Chad, watch out! There's a snake!

I'm not falling for it!

[screams like a girl]

There... really was a snake.

He has got to learn how to trust.

[Chad screams again]

Grady

And scream like a dude!

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(watching the video on Zora's camera and sees herself sleep walking and destroying Senor Smoothie) I must have been sleepwalking. I must have been the one who broke the heater and Grady's GameGuy. Oooh and killed Senor Smoothie. I'm Candy Face. I'm Candy Face! I'm Candy Face! And I'm destroying the evidence. (throws the camera against a stump and breaks it)

What was that?!

Ahhh! (throws the camera and her gloves on the ground) It's Candy Face!

Candy Face! She- he- it broke your camera!

It's like the monster is deliberately destroying everything that's important to us!

And yet he gently deposits you.

Let me guess, Candy Face... broke the camera. There's no evidence to prove it you guys are right. One of you is responsible for this and I'm pretty sure it's-

No, no, no! (crying and hugs Chad) Chad, Chad, Chad! It happened right in front of me and it was so scary. The only thing I could think of was if only Chad Dylan Cooper, the greatest actor of our generation, was here to save us.

He is (holds Sonny) and he will.

Chloe

You believe her?

I believe that she's not a good enough actor to lie this convincingly.

(nods)

DDevon

I'm sorry I accused you guys of stealing my electric man scaping device.

Grady

I'm sorry I blamed you for the death of my Game Guy.

I'm sorry I tried to hit on you while I was blindfolded.

PPenelope

And I'm sorry you don't realize what league you're in.

You see what's happening here? Trust. Which means our job here is done. So we can just take that trust, put it in a bottle, wrap a little bow around it, bring it back to the studio because together we can-

'Zora

KILL CANDY FACE!

SRSo Random and Mackenzie Falls cast

Yeah!

Or we can capture him and rehabilitate him.

SRSo Random and Mackenzie Falls cast

NO!