Grady quotes from Sonny With a Chance

Grady

It's just that every time you try to be nice to us we end up...sad.

Nico

Or injured.

Grady

Or in Mexico.

Chad

That was the old Chad. And you did beat the bull. Ole!

Chad

Well if it isn't the face of geezer hatred.

Sonny

*sighs* You heard?

Chad

We all saw it, didn't we kids?

Nico

Did you bring the kids here to boo us?

Chad

No, we came here to thank you.

Tawni

Really?

Chad

Yeah, because for just a minute their fear of clowns took a backseat to their grandparents tears. My grandma called me, told me not to watch the show, told her it was ok I already didn't.

Sonny

You know someday someones gonna expose you for the jerk you are [Pulls off Chad's hood and sees the hair curlers] OH MY GOSH!

Tawni

OH MY GOSH!

Chad

[Tries to cover his hair] OH MY GOSH!

Sonny

Hair curlers?

Chad

No. Girls wear curlers. These are my...Healthy hair rods.

(laughs)

Chad

Ha ha ha. My follicle consultant has me wearing them to keep my hair happy...and attached to my scalp.

Sonny

Your worried about losing you hair? But your seventeen.

Chad

Buddy was seventeen and before he knew it it was melon!

Sonny

Melon?

Chad

Melon I tell ya!

Sonny

Well, I'm officially your girlfriend.

Grady

(gasps)

Sonny

Officially your fake girlfriend.

Grady

Oh. Well go make me a sandwich!

Sonny

(looks at Grady)

Grady

I'm just kidding. I'll make us sandwiches.

Your a lucky man.

Grady

I'm telling Mom! Wait! What?

I've had a million girlfriends.

Sonny

Ew!

Sonny

Which is why, in the spirit of full disclosure--

Nico

I mean the only thing that you possibly do that would be a bigger betrayal would be if you were dating Chad!

Grady

Stop your killing me!

Sonny

(nervously laughs along) Me too!

Nico

I know, it's hilarious...."Chad".

Tawni

So, what did you want to disclosure us about?

Chad

You asked which hurt more you being over the Falls or you canceling our date and it was definitely you canceling our date. Not really a toughie at all.

Sonny

Thanks. That's very...Mackenzie of you.

Chad

Thanks. so you never did actually give me a reason why you called off our date.

Sonny

Well it's sort of like you said when you date me you date So Random, and they can be a little--

Sonny

What are you guys doing here?

Grady

(angrily) I found change!

Zora

(gasps) It's worse then we thought!

Nico

Flowers, a Mack Falls box set, and a photo of Chad holding some flowers... and a Mack Falls box set!

Chad?!

Sonny

(pretends to be surprised and fake gasps) Chad?!

Zora

Well, it's pretty obvious what's going on here.

Connie

Chad is here to see me!

Sonny

Mom?

Connie

It's okay, Sonny. I am not ashamed to tell them the truth.

Sonny

No. But I might be! What are you doing?

Connie

Trust me. (walks over to Chad)

Connie

Chad came here tonight bearing gifts for me, because...

Chad

Sonny's mother is also... my mother.

(gasps)

Sonny

The patient is critical. We need to get him into the operation room CHAD!

Tawni

(confused) Chad?

Sonny

What? No. I said STAT. As in we need to get him into the operation room CHAD!

Grady

Mmmmm. You did it again.

Sonny

Ummm. I don't think so.

Nico

(gets up from the gurney) I heard it too.

Grady

Even the dead guy heard it.

Sonny

You know what? Okay this is ridiculous.

Chad

You people are hearing things.

Sonny

(same time with Chad) I did not say Chad.

Chad

(same time with Sonny) I did not say Sonny.

Zora

So what do you think was up with the slip of the tongue this morning?

Chad

(getting food but not looking at Sonny) They're watching.

Sonny

(getting food too but not looking at Chad) Yeah. I know. Act natural.

Chad

Good call. Just follow my lead.

Sonny

Okay.

Chad

What say you good woman? Were these freshly picked this fine morn?

Sonny

I said act natural not Amish. This is silly. Why don't we just tell people that we have a date tonight?

Chad

Bad idea. You know how much our two shows hate each other. If they find out we're going on a date they'll think it's okay for them and then- (shakes his head)

Tawni

You don't think those guys like each other, do you?

Nico

Maybe. I mean look at them trying to act all discreet.

Grady

Well, I happen to be a keen reader of lips. So whatever they're trying to say, they might as well say it to me.

Sonny

So Chad...

Grady

No, Brad.

Sonny

what's the plan?

Chad

Well I'm getting us a limo-

Grady

Apparently he's getting a pillow.

Chad

to take us-

Grady

Two steaks plus.

Chad

at 8:00-

Grady

He ate a sock.

Chad

to a nice dinner.

Grady

and a rice thinner.

Tawni

Read my lips.

Grady

[turns to Tawni]

Tawni

You're a dope.

Grady

"Europe's pope."

Sonny

It is a sad day when a young woman can't try on twelve or thirteen outfits without being accused of going on a date! You should be ashamed of yourselves! (waves her finger) Shame on you! (Grady raises his hand) Yes Grady?

Grady

So in the risk of further shame, will you be joining us for pizza night? Because you're in charge of the coupons.

Sonny

No I won't be joining you.

Tawni

Ah ha!

Sonny

Not because I have a date or anything. Because I'll be helping my mother who has a sprained ankle from doing things with that foot that she should not have been doing.

Nico

Too bad Sonny's gonna miss Pizza Night.

Zora

Yeah, pizza just won't taste the same without her.

Grady

Yes it will!

Sonny

(enters the prop house,coughing,snezzes)

Chad

Hey, babe.

Nico

Oh don't you babe her! She's our babe!

Grady

Yeah! Hey, babe.

Sonny

Okay, alright, stop arguing. I'm going to stop this right now. Nobody gets to call me babe.

Chad

(gets mad)

Grady

In your face, Chaddy!

Sonny

(sees Chaz in a wheelchair and bandaged all over) What did you do to Chaz Milton Looper?!

Grady

We broke him, we broke him bad.

Are you ready to get So Random?

Remember all those great songs from summer camp?

Sure!

Well, what about the ones you haven't heard of?

Haven't heard them!

Yes, it's Counselor Jenny (Sonny) and Dan Dan the Guitar Man (Grady) singing the songs that got them fired from over 100 camps. Truly awful songs like "Counselor Spread a Rumor".

Sonny

(singing) Gather around the campfire spark and hear how Ben's afraid of the dark.

Grady

(playing the guitar and singing) He cries at night when the lights go out. He weeps like a baby, he screams and shouts.

Everyone points when they see him go by. That's the reason he's shy.

And that's not all. You'll also get heartless classics like "Your Homesick (But Your Parents Don't Care)".

Grady

You cry because your homesick at night.

Sonny

Yes you do!

Grady

You think your parents miss you. You're not right.

Sonny

You're dead wrong!

Your mom and dad are clapping. They don't have to hear your yapping.

Grady

And yes they said...

Not to call!

And the insensitive hits keep on coming!

Sonny

(singing) A kid got wedgied by the lake last year. The lake last year, the lake last year. A kid got wedgied by the lake last year and now his undies are hanging from a flagpole. (looks menacingly at the the kids)

Yes, it's 24 songs, sung by two terrible people!

Order now!

Sonny

(frowns) Or else.

We will! (reaches for the phone)

Zora

No you won't!

Grady

(eating yogurt) Hey did I get any yogurt on my face?

Nico

Question is did you get any in your mouth.

Patriots!

Marshall

Idiots!