James quotes from Sonny With a Chance

Sonny

The teapot has a name. It's Sonny.

James

Yes you are. What's your name?

Sonny

Smooth...

James

Yes I am.

James

You can call me James.

Chad

Sonny.

Sonny

Chad.

Chad

[to James] Anyway they're shooting our scene we should probably go.

Chad

Let me guess, Life of the Boston Tea Party.

Sonny

Well, at least my show brings joy to the viewers.

Chad

At least my show has viewers.

James

Wow. What's goin' on here?

Chad

Nothing.

Sonny

It's beyond nothing.

Chad

It's certainly nothing to be late over. Our scene's up first after lunch. Sonny.

Sonny

Chad. (Chad walks away)

James

You know, for something you said was nothing, that sure seemed like something.

Sonny

Oh, well, you know, it's a day-to-day something. Sometimes hour-by-hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated.

James

Well, I'm not. My name's James Conroy, and I'd like to take you out tonight.

Sonny

Well, there's nothing complicated about that.

James

So I can take that as a yes?

Sonny

You can take that as a maybe.

Sonny

Wow! (Sonny reads a card) "Hi teapot." Ow. "It was nice meeting you. Any chances we can go out tonight? Your bad boy, James." You know, maybe he's not such a jerk after all.

Tawni

Oh right. Maybe I'm ugly. Use your brain!

Sonny

Look, I appreciate the warning, but maybe your friend and James didn't have chemistry.

Sonny

Chad? What do you want Chad?

James

It's James.

Sonny

[To Tawni] It's James.

Tawni

Hang up.

Sonny

Hey James. How's it going? I loved the flowers! They're so beautiful.

James

It was my pleasure.

Chad

Dude, is that my phone?

James

Oh, yeah it is. Thanks. (To Sonny) I gotta make this fast. Do you wanna go out tonight?

Sonny

Tonight?

Tawni

No no no.

Sonny

I'd love to.

James

Cool.

Sonny

Cool.

James

Bye.

Sonny

Bye.

James

You hang up first.

Sonny

No you hang up.

Tawni

I'll hang up!

Tawni

Fine, don't listen to me. But when you're heart is broken into a milion pieces and spread all over the floor, just remember. Tawni Hart doesn't vacuem.

Tawni

Where's your idiot friend?

Chad

Bart! [Bart comes out]

Tawni

Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.

Chad

I'm sorry, what?

Tawni

James, Sonny, date, tonight.

Chad

Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?

Tawni

So where is he?

Chad

Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. [sirens go]

James

[Off camera] Give me all your money!

Tawni

What is your show even about?

Chad

Oh, this week's our Christmas episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.

Tawni

Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.

Chad

Why do you want him to back off Sonny?

Tawni

Why are you wearing a bib?

Chad

Jealous?

Tawni

I have my own bib!

Chad

Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?

Tawni

No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do you want him to back off Sonny?

Chad

I... never said I did.

Tawni

Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care! So, you just tell your friend to back off from Tawni Hart! ...Well not back off from me, back off from me, Tawni Hart!

Sonny

So, what looks good?

James

You.

Tawni

Sorry I'm late!

Sonny

Tawni?

James

Tawni?

Tawni

James. So, what did I missed?

Sonny

An invitation. What are you doing here?

Tawni

I like chicken fingers and skiball.

Chad

Uh, sorry I'm late. What did I missed?

James

Tawni likes chicken fingers and skiball! What are you doing here?

Chad

Came to hang out with my bro? (looks at Tawnie) So what are you doing here?

Tawni

What are YOU doing here?

James

(to Sonny) What are they doing here?

Sonny

What are we still doing here?

[Tawni and Sonny are fighting about James] Oh, she is so cute when she's angry!

Chad

Sonny's always cute. She can't do anything without it being cute. Stupid cute!

James

No dude! I'm talking about TAWNI!

Chad

So...are you having fun on your date?

James

I was! Until it was rudely interrupted! (referring to Chad)

Chad

I know! Tawni's a piece of work right?