SonnyI can't believe you kissed Chad! Where in the script does it say that 'Sonny kisses Chad?'
It's not in the script. I told you, I wanted to play your character honestly.
Sonny
(laughs) And you think that I would kiss him?
Sonny
Well, I would never kiss him.
Sonny
No! Not anywhere! Not in a scene, not in a dream. Not in car. Not near, not far, not here, not there, not anywhere- I'm rhyming aren't I? See, I do that when I don't want to kiss someone.
Sonny
Now you sound like Chad!
Huh, well that line is in the script. Page eighteen, twenty two and twice on thirty nine.
Sonny
He does say that a lot. (both Sonny and Selena laugh)
Well maybe it's because he has the same issues as you do.
Sonny
Wha-? Pfft! What are you? Some kind of expert on how people feel about each other? Some sort of relationship...wh-what's the word? [gasps] WIZARD! YES! You like to sprinkle your wizardy relationship dust over people who you think you know, but you don't! No, you don't! So you know what I say? I say good day wizard! [walks away then comes back] I say good day!
[into recorder] Thinks I'm actually a wizard.
Sonny
(wearing a wizard costume) Abracadabra!
Sonny
Well how do you like me playing you? Look at me, I'm Selena Gomez! I'm the relationship wizard! I know everything! Edgbono eutusis!
Check it out! I'm Sonny from Wisconsin! I'm just an exploding ball of sunshine! Check it out! Check it out!
Sonny
Look at me! I'm Selena! I went to acting school so I could learn how to do this! Cashmerious appearous! [waves invisible wand in Selena's face] Yeah! It's an invisible wand!
Well look at me! I'm Sonny and I'm ticking off the person who's playing me in a movie, and maybe I shouldn't because she can make me look really bad!
Sonny
Well look at me, I'm Selena and, I'd never do that to Sonny girl!
(to Selena) Hey Selena. (looks at Sonny) Hey Scary Potter.
Sonny
(frowns)
Don't mind me ladies. I'm just here to get a fresh beret and recharge my microphone. (switches berets and gets a new megaphone) [into megaphone] See ya on set. (leaves)
I don't know what you see in that guy.
Sonny
Are you kidding me? I don't see anything in that guy and I wish you would stop insisting that I do.
Well if you think I'm playing it wrong then maybe you should just show me.
Sonny
Fine, I will.
Sonny
Fine!
Sonny
Good!
Sonny
Fine! Great! Now we're doing it! (leaves)
Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in love with me, I beg you.
Sonny
[rolls her eyes]
I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting you was the biggest dream of all.
Sonny
Okay, CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Sonny
Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes you up! (glares at Chad) Oh and remember that you hate him! You just really, really hate him! [Chad glares at Sonny] Action. [walks off set]
Sonny
Oh and one more thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
BART![Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone] CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
Sonny
You stop the lying!
STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!
Gosh I was wrong! You too should never be together!
Sonny
Finally! I've been trying to tell her that all day!
You've been trying to tell her that? I've been trying to tell her that too!
Sonny
Well I told her first. She thinks she some relationship wizard.
Yeah with her wizardly magic beans. Look if I want to like you [through megaphone] then I will.
Sonny
Yeah and if I want to like you then [through megaphone] I will.
If I want to think you have pretty hair then I will.
Sonny
And if I want to think you have sparkly eyes then I will.
[In Megaphone] Yes so take that Selena!
Sonny
[In Megaphone] In your face Gomez! (bumps her fist with Chad's)
Wow. You guys got me. There's nothing going on around here at all! [Through megaphone] YOU TWO
Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Sonny
Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Sonny
Pfft... It could happen! So... do you really think I have pretty hair?
I dunno... Do you really think I have sparkly eyes?
Sonny
I dunno... Well one of them is.
So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Sonny
Fine.
Sonny
Good.
Sonny
Fine.
Fine. I’ll set you up an audition. Nine o’clock?
Sonny
Really, Chad? Really?
(into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. You got the part.
Hey, hey. My movie's on. Aren't you going to watch it?
Sonny
Shh, there's something better on.
TATV Announcer
We now return to Camp Hip-Hop starring Selena Gomez.
:[On TV] Hey, Mom. How do you know I can't dance? You gotta see my moves.
:[On TV] You've got to send me to Camp Hip-Hop. It's my dream.
Oh, this is better than my movie.
Hey Sonny what's the dilly?
Sonny
The 'dilly' is Nico and Grady are stuck in a net. Everyone says they're in cahoots. You win; I'm tired with this paranoia. Just prank me and get it over with.
Sorry, Sonny I'm already doing a prank. It's called Tawni's fake audition. It was actually inspired by your audition. I guess that makes you Chad's little helper.
I'm Fashonita! That was perfect.
(laughing) Thanks for the idea Sonny.
Maple syrup? Really? Maple syrup?
Sonny
Chad, I'm sorry after you did something nice just to be nice..
I know! Syruped and feathered my friend, but don't worry. I'm planning on returning the favor.
With a prank? And whatever I'm doing now is gonna be a hundred times worse than I planned to do before.
What did you plan to do before?
Well whatever it was, it was hundred times less worse than what I'm gonna do to you now!
Stop scaring us with math!
You know what would make this easier? If you would stop saying "E-e-e-e-e-e-easy G."
Sonny
Hey. You guys made a house of cards.
No you're saying it wrong. It's (says it dully) "Wow you guys made a house of cards."
It's not a house, it's a fortress.
Everybody! Into the fortress! (jumps on the fortress of cards)
(hides under a table) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sonny
It's my first Los Angeles earthquake! Which is exciting and TERRIFYING! This is me screaming in terror! (screams) And this is me getting under the table which is what you're suppose to do! EARTHQUAKE!!!!!
Sonny
(whimpers) Help
Calm down. Calm down everyone. It wasn't a quake. The studio is just doing some construction.
Sonny
AHHH! CONSTRUCTION!!! just kidding just kidding
Finally! They're making some improvements around here. I guess somebody read the note I put in the demand box.
Sonny
You mean the suggestion box?
Yes! They're building a weight room!
Even better! They're building a bait and tackle shop! Now I don't have to go downtown for my worms!
Not even close. Anybody else wanna guess?
Sonny
Okay if a guillotine is closer then I don't want to guess anymore.
Okay okay! I'll tell ya! They're kicking you out of the prophouse!
You see, I took a horrible situation and turned it into a fun little game!
Sonny
No! You didn't! You took something horrible and took forever to tell it!
You're right. Look I'll make this next part quick and I won't sing it to you like I planed,You have 24 hours to pack up your things and leave
Sonny
Oh. It's a picture...of you.
Yeah but look how its signed.
Sonny
'To my biggest fan: I'm sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad! What did you get for Nico and Grady?
Oh that's easy. I let them take a ride on the forklift.
Sonny
You did WHAT on the WHO NOW?
oh man, This ain't MacKenzie Falls.
(Sonny and Tawni when Hayden walks over.)
Sonny
Well, you know what, that's okay coz he's on his way over.
What do you think he wants?!
Sonny
(laughs) I don't know, but, just pretend he's a regular guy on the street!
Guy on the street, guy on the street, guy on the-
HHayden
Okay...Hey Sonny! (Sonny smiles awkwardly)
Sonny
Maybe I should handle this! I'll figure out a way to get you guys together, okay?
Okay. (Sonny walks out of the room) Watch your purse!
(Sonny drops her phone into the sink and Tawni turns on the garbage disposal, causing Sonny's phone to dial Chad.)
(answering phone) Let me hear you say HEEEEEEEYYYYY!
Sonny
(on phone) No! That's my phone! (the garbage disposal can be heard in the background)
Sonny
Uh, you got some Chad on your shirt.
Oh thanks! (Sonny nods) Bib me!
Sonny
(flirtatiously) So...Chad! (giggles) I-I need a favor.
You mean (takes out tickets) these?
Sonny
Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
Sonny
(smiles) You're the star of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
Sonny
and.. you have the best tasting sandwich in the whole cafeteria!
(fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the second ticket) You wanna go for three?
Sonny
Can't.
Sonny
I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
Sonny
(muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
(hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)
Sonny
(in her dream) (knock at door)
Sonny
Chad
Sonny, hey look what I've got for our rehearsal.Two tubes of lip balm? One for my upper and one for my lower.
Sonny
(glares at him)
Will you relax? I was just goofing around. Look, I really want to do a good job.
Sonny
Really?
Yeah. So look, let's take it from the part when the Hot EMT comes in... that's me ha... and says 'tell me where it hurts.'
Sonny
(stares into Chad's eyes) Wow Chad. You were right. I am getting lost in your eyes. This feels like a dream.
Sonny
(wakes up) I am dreaming. Oh my gosh! It was just like he said! (knock at door)
Wanna run lines... got two tubes of lip balm. One for my upper and one for my...
Sonny
NOOO!!! (slams door in his face)
Sonny With a Chance · 279 quotes
