No, I try to make a point of not banging my roommate's girlfriend,
AmandaSo, didn't stop you last time.
Amanda
Until you weren't. And we're not banging. I'm a virgin.
No, I-I've heard you and Ron go at it plenty of times.
Amanda
Backdoor only. I'm saving myself for my husband.
Right, and how would your husband feel about you having taken it in the seat like a porn star? Why'd you stop by here before class?
Amanda
Admit it, because you were hoping I'd be here.
[Amanda has taken off her top with Lip in the dorm room and Ron has just walked in]
RRon
Excuse me, guys. Forgot my Spinoza. [Ron walks past the two to get his book and leaves the room]
[Lip runs out of the dorm room to follow Ron]
Hey, um-- Hey, listen, I'm-- I'm so sorry. Just let me explain.
RRon
It's okay, dude. You don't need to be sorry. I owe you one. I was starting to hear Amanda bark orders to me in my dreams.
RRon
The best part about getting a blow job from Amanda, ten minutes of silence. Come on, dude. Don't be late for class.
Amanda
Familiar with the term "quid pro quo"?
Yeah, yeah, that's, uh that's Latin for "lick mine, and I'll lick yours," right?
Amanda
Need you to meet my mom and dad for parents' weekend. Pretend we're together.
That's it? Just clean up for a dinner?
Amanda
No, no clean up. In fact, wear that shirt with all the "fucks" on it. My parents started me on violin lessons when I was three. SAT prep when I was 12. I'm a walking stereotype. For Christ sakes, I'm a math major.
You know, you-- you could do a lot worse than parents that give a shit.
Amanda
No, it's time my mom and dad know that I'm not gonna be programmed for med school like my older sister. I need to scare the living shit out of them.
My bitch of a wife thinks I owe her something. Like I'm the only guy ever dropped a fucking load in her.
MIMan in car
Boys. Ride around the block?
We look like a couple fags for sale to you?
Well, this ain't Macy's, bitch. You ain't window-shopping.
MIMan in car
You're in Boystown, outside a bar called The Fairy Tail.
Why don't you fuck off before I give you a broken spine to go along with that limp wrist? [Mickey picks up a bottle, man drives off and Mickey throws it at the driver] Yeah, get going, you fucking fruit! Thinks he can buy whatever he wants 'cause he's got a fucking Rolex and an S-class. That shit happen to you a lot?
...
Amanda
You have an econ quiz in two hours.
Uh, right, you know, about that, I-I couldn't help but notice the schedule.
Amanda
I made it for you.
Yeah, no, I thought it might have been you, and you broke it down into five-minute segments. I mean, who schedules something for 12:55?
Amanda
So you can better manage your time.
Right, but you even put in preset bathroom breaks.
Amanda
I synced it to your new phone.
Amanda
You're welcome.
Thank you. But seriously, this-- this schedule, it's just-- it's-- it's not me, okay? I'm not used to having my dumps planned out in advance. You know, it's-- I can't-- I can't regiment my life like that, all right?
Amanda
That's why I'm doing it for you.
Okay, I guess I'm just more of a, uh, fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy.
Amanda
How's that working out for you?
How 'bout a quick BJ then?
Amanda
BJ break isn't for another 45 minutes.
...
[Kenyatta walks up to Mickey walking down the street from Mickey's house]
Mandy, she here last night?
No, I was at work. I kept calling the house, no answer. Then I call her cell, she say she's at home. She with Lip?
You just keep putting two and two together, huh? Hey, good for you, Einstein.
[referring to Mickey's house] He in this motherfucker?
Nah, asshole's at college. It's a big place, lots of buildings. People go there to learn. Don't worry about it.
West Maxwell. [to Kenyatta while walking away] Hey, you planning on giving a beat down to every guy Mandy's been with? Your arms are gonna get fucking tired!
...
[Carl has just spraypainted "PRINCIPAL RAMIREZ IS CARL GALLAGERS (sic) BITCH" on the school lockers]
You just bought yourself two more weeks' detention.
You know, you misspelled your last name.
[Lip and Amanda are eating at a breakfast diner late at night with Amanda's sorority and their dates after a ritual]
Amanda
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Uh, no, the chanting part was kind of creepy. But hey, I look good in a suit, right? You know, I figured it was gonna be more wild toga party than coven.
Amanda
Well, we're a bunch of engineering majors. Our parties usually consist of us watching Big Bang reruns and bleaching each other's mustaches.
[Amanda is painting a nude woman in a Renaissance-esque style on Lip's dorm wall]
Jesus, what's she weigh in at, buck 90, 200?
Amanda
Renaissance women weren't forced to starve themselves into an anorexic fashion industry marketing version of female sexuality.
I bet it was purely missionary. You know, getting caught under that would be like stepping on a grape.
What, they just give you a card?
Amanda
They'll give you, like, ten if you want. We're the future. They're meth dealers. Give you your first few hits for free, get you hooked. I'm just gonna run it up and then beg daddy to pay it off, turn on the tears, tell him how much I love him, promise to come home for Christmas. He always caves.
[Someone knocks at the door when Lip and Amanda are making love in Lip's dorm]
MMuff
It's Muff. Is Amanda in there?
MMuff
Bullshit. Tell her I'm not fucking leaving till she faces me.
Amanda
Turns out lesbians are super possessive.
MMuff
I fucking love you, Amanda. I fucking love you, you bitch!
Amanda
I let her go down on me, like, twice, and now she thinks we're married.
Right. So what do you want to do? 'Cause I have to pick up my brother in a few minutes.
MMuff
Amanda, come out here and face me!
Amanda
I'll let you borrow my car if I can hide under your bed.
Muff still threatening arson?
...
Amanda
I can go heat it up in the lounge microwave.
No, no, it's cool. I like it cold.
Amanda
Another trip to the cougar cage?
No, no. The, uh, physics lab. My, uh, phonon spectra of crystals project is due Friday.
Amanda
Does she make you happy, or is it just about the sex?
Amanda
Is she better at it than I am?
No, just, um...more practice, I guess.
Amanda
She do stuff that I should probably know how to do? Anything you'd like to teach me? [Lip ignores her] Cold pizza sucks. I'm gonna go warm this up. [She leaves the room and then eventually Lip silently leaves the room, leaving the dorm door open]
[Lip walks into college library and Amanda pops up alongside him]
Amanda
You disappeared last night.
Amanda
That was a really shitty thing to do.
I know, I know. I just had something to do, okay?
Amanda
You just split and left me there. I waited for two hours.
Listen, I never asked you to come over, okay?
[Amanda punches him in the face]
What the fuck was that for?
Amanda
Making me fall in love with you.
I didn't make you do anything!
Amanda
Yes, you did, because you're so fucking...you! You're not like anybody I know or have ever met or will ever meet. You're just-- Oh, fuck!
[She walks away and staring library patrons start applauding with Lip sarcastically acknowledging them]
Shameless · 903 quotes
