IanI think we're being followed.
We're not being followed, man. It's called traffic.
Ian
No, this guy's been behind us since we left the grow house.
"Oh, I think we're being followed, man!" [Laughs]
Ian
Yeah, and I'm the one who fucking nags, right?
Oh, come on. I'm just giving you shit.
[Van cuts in front of them with a sedan trapping them from behind]
Ian
Fuck! Shit!
Shit! Fuck! I fucking told you! Well, congratulations! You were right! You happy?! We gotta run!
TThug
[Aiming gun] Out, now.
All right. [Thugs opens door] God damn it. Oh.
LLou
Calm down, tough guy. I will shoot you in the nuts!
Ian
You know this guy?
LLou
Shut up. Ain't nobody here named Lou.
I can see the fucking tattoo on your hand says Lou.
LLou
Shit. What's up, Mickey?
You're an idiot. That's what's up. Can we go now? I got shit to do, man.
I'm your cousin, asshole. Give me my bags. Get the fuck out of the way.
LLou
Sorry, man. We got a job to do.
Oh, you got a job? [Draws pistol] I do too, bitch.
LLou
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that an airsoft pistol?
LLou
That's an airsoft gun. I can see where you painted over the orange tip of the barrel. [Laughs] Can you not afford a real gun?
No, I- I have a real gun. It's just... if I get caught with it, I go to prison, and some people are very uncomfortable with that.
Ian
We're on parole! We're on parole.
LLou
[Sighs] Well, now I feel bad. Tell you what. Since you're family, we're only gonna take, uh, 1,000 bucks. All right? Can't leave empty-handed, you know. We got mouths to feed.
No, uh, yeah, thank you for being so fucking generous.
LLou
You're welcome. Hey. I'll see you at Thanksgiving.
Yeah, okay. Fuck you. [Lou and cohorts get in van and drive away with Ian flipping them off]
Ian
Unbelievable! There goes our profit for the week!
Don't make this shit like it's my fault!
Ian
I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying!
You're just saying that we should've had a real fucking gun...!
Ian
I'm just saying...!
like I've been saying...!
Ian
...it's your inbred...!
...from the fucking beginning!
Ian
...Polack fucking family!
Ah, he'll be all right. It's not his first time getting questioned. He can handle an interrogation.
You can't just use your cop "get outta jail free" card? When I get in, I'm gonna try to grease the wheels of justice.
Do we have any triple-A batteries?
Ian
That's a big hole. Coulda just said he wanted to renovate.
Your brother's a fuckin' drama queen, man. Hey, scarf that shit down. I wanna go check on Terry. We have a lotta pick-ups today.
Ian
I don't know if we have time. We would if you stopped yappin' and started eatin'.
You guys remember I have a thing after school, right?
Ian
Yeah, of course.
What thing? Don't ya want your dad there, cheerin' you on?
Well, what is it, anyway?
A contest to pick a new name for my school. The winner gets a free iPad.
Why does your school need a new name?
'Cause it's named after Dennis Hastert.
Former speaker of the House of Representative. Native Chicagoan. And a child molester. He's canceled.
Canceled? You can't cancel history. It's already happened. Political correctness is gonna kill this country.
Uh, beside the point. We can't be applying today's sexual standards to... molesters of yesteryear.
Molesting used to be okay?
Dennis Hastert brought a lotta federal dollars to Illinois. I don't think I can just stand by while the PC police erase his legacy.
Ian
This is the hill you wanna die on, Frank? Defending a pedo?
Defending tradition, defending our shared history? Yeah. I'll die on this hill. This is a hill we all should die on together.
Come on. Hey, let's go. I wanna make sure they're takin' care of fuckin' Terry over there.
Ian
[To Mickey crying] Look, I know he was your dad, but the guy was an awful human being.
Yeah, I know. He was a huge piece of shit.
Ian
Then why are you crying?
Ian
Look, Terry hated you. Hated us.
This is your fuckin' fault.
Ian
What?
You're the one that hired the nun. Was she even a nun?
Ian
She said she was a great caretaker.
This is really unfair, man. I could've killed that fucker, like, a thousand times. This bitch just swoops in?
Ian
Hey, are you crying 'cause you're pissed off or 'cause you're sad?
You stop asking me fuckin' questions! I don't know. I have no idea.
Ian
Okay.
What the fuck?! Who fixed the drywall?
Ian
I don't know.
Ian
Someone fixed the drywall. [Scoffs] Not it.
So that means we're not selling the house, right?
Did I repair the damage that some dumbfuck did to my kitchen? Yeah.
My problem? You're the one who's mentally unstable.
What, 'cause I want to sell the house?
Yes! It's driving all of us crazy. I mean, Liam, am I right?
For real. Are we selling the house or not?
This is why I haven't pooped in three days.
Yeah, and I had sex with a gay guy. And now I probably have AIDS. So thanks a lot, Lip.
How is it my fault that you had sex with a gay guy?
...
We are not selling the house.
We are selling the house, all right?! Everybody got that?! No more conversations, no more bullshit, we're selling the fuckin' house! Let's go.
Ian
You don't have AIDS.
Ian
Still probably don't have AIDS. Everybody's on PrEP.
Well, I'm sure I have something.
Ian
Well, syphilis, maybe. Gonorrhea. Lots of that going around.
Ian
Ah, relax. That's like saying you walked on the beach and you have sand between your toes. Should probably hit a clinic, though.
Ian
Yeah.
[Entire cast is sitting on door steps of Gallagher residence]
We’re not doing this, telling you what happened on Shameless last week anymore. We’re sick of it.
Ian
Just not doin’ it.
It insults your intelligence.
They don’t pay us enough.
What, they pay you guys for this?
[They all turn heads to Kevin] Yeah. You don’t get paid?
Ian
Of course.
Well, fuck me! [They all snicker]
[Ian pulse checks an unresponsive Frank on the couch] Is he dead?
Ian
Faint pulse. Hypoxic.
Grampy went tinkle in his pants.
Ugh, damn it. Not on the new couch.
[Walks up] Hey, what’s goin’ on?
Ian
Frank OD’d again.
How much heroin did he do?
Yet another disadvantage to decades of copious narcotics use.
Should we, like, call the paramedics or something?
No, he’s done this before a bunch of times.
He may be trying to kill himself. He’s been depressed. The dementia’s getting bad.
Hand me that syringe. [Ian hands her one and she pricks Frank's hand]
Ian
Stroke?
Or he’s already brain-dead. That happens with overdoses.
I guess it’s up to us to finish him off. Quick so*t to the head, dump his body in the lake. I don’t think anybody’s gonna miss him. What? We’d just be helpin’ Mr. Fuckup finish the job.
HHeidi
You could pillow him. That’s what my dad did to my grandpa so we could sell his double-wide. Couldn’t afford his oxygen refills anymore.
Debbie’s got a new friend.
HHeidi
Hey, you check his pockets, see if he got any money on him?
[Carrying a mattress out of the Milkovich residence with Ian] Your mattress smells like ass.
Ian
We can also buy a new mattress.
Nah, too many good memories stained into this one.
Ian
Hey, you know what the day is? Twentieth or 21st?
Ian
Thinkin’ it’s the 21st.
Maybe a little less thinkin’ and open those doors. This fucker’s heavy.
Ian
After we drop this shit off, we gotta hit that furniture rental on Ashland. They got a good deal on taupe living room sets.
Ian
No, still gotta grab the dresser.
What do we need a dresser for? We got floors, right?
Ian
[Gives Mickey a you-should-know-better look and then turns] Come on. [Walks back into house]
Fuck’s sake. [Follows after]
Shameless · 903 quotes
