Are you kidding? I’d love to meet the Violent Femmes! When? Where?
Well, they’ll be signing CD’s at Music City in Boston tonight at midnight.
Midnight! That’s perfect. I have no conflicting plans. But I still have to ask my aunts.
Just tell them what I told my parents. It’s an astrology field trip.
Don’t you mean astronomy?
Wow, they’re paying even less attention than I thought...
This’ll be so much fun. You, me and the Violent Femmes.
[turing around from the next table] You’re going to see the Violent Femmes?
You have to let me come with you. [moves to sit down by Sabrina] I will do anything to meet Gordon Gano. You know I hate this word but... Please? The more the merrier.
[after Harvey gives her a look] All right, you can come.
Thanks! This is so great. I love the Violent Femmes!
[overhearing their conversation] You’re going to see the Violent Femmes? Can I come too? [he sits at their table beside Harvey]
No! Jeez Gordie, you can’t just invite yourself along!
I thought you just said ‘The more the merrier’?
Twist my words, why don’t you.
Look, it’s my car, and I say any Femmes fan is welcome. So, Gordie, you’re in.
You have to let us in. I mean, talk about Violent Femmes; If they don’t meet the band, there will be four extremely violent femmes, and I’m the one who has to drive them all back to Westbridge along with one love-sick dude. Do not make me do that. You know what I’m saying, you’ve been there right?
DG Door Guard
[considers] Hartford, Led Zeppelin, 1973. Go on in.
Look, we’re really sorry we embarrassed you...
...And we feel we owe you some fun. So... [conjures up a vacuum cleaner]
[unimpressed] I get to clean the house?
Yes! See, old time witches used broomsticks, but vacuums are much faster and more efficient.
You’re gonna let me fly? I don’t believe this!
It’s true. You proved tonight that you can handle the responsibility...
...And we were very impressed by the way you refused to buckle to peer-pressure...
And most importantly, you called us your friends .
[They group hug]
[tearfully] Stop, you’re embarrassing me.
S1 Mars Attracts
No... What are you doing over vacation?
Oh, I’m going skiing with my aunts.
Actually...North. How about you?
I’ll be here. In fact, I was hoping you’d be here too, so maybe we could do stuff.
Really? I wish I had known. I love doing stuff.
Salem, what are you doing?
You’re in a chatroom again pretending to be a woman, aren’t you?
Oh! I’ll grab the cat. We can make him chase the light reflected off my watch!
No! Er... He’s not allowed in the living room. Very bad shedding problem.
[pointedly] Better if he just stays here and minds his own business.
[They leave through to the living room.]
[To himself] Like I don’t have anything better to do than spy on her. [beat] Wait, I don’t!
I passed, why is Harvey still a frog?
There's one final detail; To change him back, you have to return to the scene of the kiss and kiss him again.
[disgusted] I have to kiss a frog ? That is so gross!
Teenagers; they'll jump through flames, but ask 'em to kiss a frog...
S1 Sweet Charity
Wow! Awesome photo of Elijah Wood!
N Nana
Oh, he’s my little honey.
[surprised] You know him?
N Nana
Noah Wyle introduced us.
N Nana
Only through Christian Slater.
I love Christian Slater! How do you know these people?
N Nana
Well, when you get to be my age, you know just about everybody.
So how was your date with Rick?
Oh, not so good. I’m starting to feel really weird about the age difference. I mean, normally I don’t care about these things, but Rick keeps bringing up stuff that makes me feel old .
Oh, he keeps talking about how he can’t wait for the turn of the century - Big deal, I’ve done that five times!
Oh, and it’s always the same; I’ve partied like it was sixteen ninety-nine, seventeen ninety-nine, eighteen ninety-nine... this time, I’m staying home.
I just don’t get why they’re making us read 1984 when Orwell got so much wrong...
[filling out a form for the Boston Cat Show] Okay, name... "Salem Spellman"...
May I remind you, I’m your cat , not your pet ? I have my own last name.
It’s Saberhagen, Salem Saberhagen.
American Shorthair... and darned proud of it. Write that down, the judges will eat that up.
That’s all we need! [frowns] Except for the five dollar application fee...
Don’t look at me, I’m maxed out!
G Gordon
What can you tell me about Salem’s temperament?
Well he’s very friendly, very focused and... [covers Salem’s ears] ...just a little power mad.
G Gordon
Sounds like he’s all cat.
Right, and he’s got a real head for numbers; May I demonstrate? [places a board numbered from 0 to 9 on the desk] Ask him a simple multiplication question.
G Gordon
[taken back] Okay... Salem, uh... What’s seven times five? [Salem places his paw first on the three and then on the five] Amazing! [beat] Although, we do judge purely on appearance...
S1 Meeting Dad’s Girlfriend
Look, I don’t know much about adult relationships, but I know you’re making a big mistake.
G Gail
[skeptical] Oh, really?
Yeah, my Dad’s the coolest. I mean, he’s fun and thoughtful and kind, and if there’s a good movie on he’ll let you stay up late.
G Gail
I’m well aware of your father’s good points - that’s why I said "yes" when you asked if I thought we’d get married.
He just needs time. The divorce was really hard on him and my Mom. They thought their marriage was gonna last forever - Not twelve years, which is a lot shorter... So, now he’s a little freaked out, but just be patient. I keep telling him he has to move on. [stops] We all have to move on...
G Gail
How much time do you think he’ll need?
Well, it’s hard to say... But the question you have to ask yourself is not "do you want to get married", but "do you love my Dad"?
Then, you should be together - it’s as simple as that. You know that love between two people is stronger than any legal document.
G Gail
Yes. But as a lawyer, I’m not supposed to admit it...
I guess I don’t have to worry about Mom, anymore...
Yeah, she loves her work, and her colleague is really cute... So, I’m pleased to say everyone’s moved on.
Not me, I’m stayin’ put. There’s an exciting shaft of light on the ceiling that’ll keep me here for the next five hours.
[looks up at the ceiling] So there is. [smiles] Well, enjoy it, Salem - you deserve it.
My favorite soap opera: The Burden of Desire
Catch me up while they jacuzzi.
Okay, Blake just quit Sherman Enterprises in anger precipitating a family crisis in which Norma turned to Frank, not Nick, for comfort.
Now that’s a Thursday. Why can’t my life be exciting like that?
[She points at the coffee table and a yellow can appears]
Worms? What am I supposed to do with a Can O’ Worms?
Open it. All emotions will become heightened. But be careful ; remember, you have to take the good with the bad.
Gimme, I’ll take whatever I can get. [opens the can]
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sabrina, the Teenage Witch pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
