Molly quotes from Roseanne

Molly

[playing video games with D.J.] I love these games. We used to play them all the time back in Iowa.

D.J.

Without electricity?

Molly

[puzzled] What?

D.J.

Darlene says there's no electricity or lights where you come from, but that's okay, 'cause you can't read anyway.

Molly

[angry] Oh yeah? Well, what else did she say?

D.J.

You guys keep live chickens in your kitchen and kill 'em with your bare hands.

Molly

Oh, really?

D.J.

Yeah. But there's one part I don't get. How can someone's sister be their mom?

Molly

They're so cute. Which one do you want?

Darlene

The one that'll kill you and stuff you into a trunk.

Molly

C'mon, will you lighten up?!

Darlene

Look, I have a boyfriend, I don't need these jerks. Now can we get out of here? It's been like, an hour and a half.

Molly

Well, it's my car and I'm not ready to go. I'm still looking for the perfect guy, OK?

Darlene

Oh, it's a good thing we're in a parking lot full of drunken losers. It shouldn't be hard to spot that white horse.

Roseanne

Molly, Molly, Molly. I have raised two of the best damn liars in the free world. Don't embarrass yourself.

Molly

Well, why are you raggin' on me?

Roseanne

'Cause that's what I do. I did it with Becky, I do it with Darlene, but doin' it with you is even more fun 'cause I can yell at you all I want and I don't have to buy you a car.

Molly

I don't have to listen to this!

Roseanne

Oh, but I think you do. Now, you want to screw up your life, I don't care. But when you leave this house with a Conner kid, you're going to be extra careful, because Darlene is one of the few things we own outright.

Molly

I can get the homework assignment from Darlene later.

Roseanne

Dan, did you hear that? Darlene went to school today.

David

Molly, what are you talking about? You know I'm going out with Darlene!

Molly

David, you're cute, and you're smart... and you deserve someone who doesn't sleep hanging upside down!

David

Hey, you don't know anything about me and Darlene!

Molly

I know she treats you like crap!

David

Come on, that's not fair; Darlene treats everyone like crap!