Darlene Conner quotes from Roseanne

Darlene

[attempting to change a grade on her report card] I can't match this red ink. [Miss] Crane probably drains the blood out of stray cats to get her ink!

Darlene

People are already calling her "Conner-the-Bomber."

Darlene

To whom it concerns, Darlene's work will be late

Darlene

[as Roseanne and Dan are starting to chew out Becky] I'm gonna go upstairs and flush the wok.

Darlene

I can't believe it! The nerd flips the bird!

Darlene

Mom and Dad are impossible, Mom's fighting with Aunt Jackie, everybody's yelling at everybody else but nobody's saying what they should. Becky, you're a selfish, stupid, heartless spoiled brat!

Darlene

If you lie very still, she may just sniff you and leave you alone.

Darlene

[to D.J.] You're about to become a strange smell in the attic!

Darlene

I guess I should prepare you for all the things that have changed since you've been in the big house. Mom says we have a new daddy now.

Darlene

:[on phone with DJ's teacher] yes, this is Mrs. Conner. Yeah, DJ is sick. Oh, its a stomach bug. We all have it. In fact, I feel like I have to throw up right now. Oh, don't worry, it's a cordless, you can come along.

Darlene

I don't smoke pot. It dulls my hatred.

Darlene

D.J.'s finally got a friend that's not imaginary!

Darlene

Trust me, this is not a time when a boy needs his mother.

Darlene

My brother and my boyfriend on the Dumbo ride and me without a camera to throw at them.

Darlene

Unless one of the side effects is death, I'm taking this stuff- all I want to do is save my baby.