A character in Regular Show
Played by William Salyers
Regular Show · 562 quotes
Most-quoted character in Regular Show: in 322 of its 562 quotes
Most scenes with: Mordecai (230), Benson Dunwoody (122), Muscle Man Sorrenstein (52)
Rigby{groans} Man, it's almost eight. We're not gonna find him, let's just eat it.
No. Benson's gonna get pissed, so we shouldn't. (in reruns, "pissed" is replaced with "ticked")
RigbyBenson's gonna get like that no matter what.
[puts arms up]
RigbyNo. No, don't.
It's too late. [begins to move arms together]
RigbyCome on dude, don't.
It's already in motion.
RigbyWell, put it out of motion!
[crosses arms] You pissed me off. (in reruns, the line is changed to "You ticked me off.")
RigbyARGH!
Just give it up, dude. I knew you couldn't fix it...
RigbyDude, I fix stuff all the time!
No, you don't.
RigbyWhat do you mean?!
The cart, the shoes, the party, that other party...
RigbyStop right there! You know Muscle Man pushed me!
Muscle Man wasn't even there!!
RigbyFine, I'll fix it.
[Benson comes into the room, looking angry]
What are you doing with my sandwich?!
What?
RigbyDon't worry. I'll take care of this with my specialty. This isn't your sandwich. This is our sandwich.
This is your sandwich, huh? Then how come it says "Benson" on the BAG?!
RigbyHuh? It's supposed to say "Rigby," but they misspelled my name wrong.
[angrily screams at Mordecai and Rigby] STOP LYING!
Dude, I thought you said you bought this!
No, he didn't buy it! Now, get off your lazy butts and go get me another GRILLED CHEESE DELUXE!!! [ He slams the door furiously]
[groans] Aaaagh! You ruined our day off!
RigbyAh, don’t worry, dude. The line won’t be that long.
[Cut to Cheezer's, where there is a long line.]
[Jones and Barry throw Mordecai and Rigby out of their van]
(angrily threatens Mordecai and Rigby) If you ever lie about being astronauts again, YOU’RE DEAD!!!
RigbyWe saved the city, astro!-- (The astronauts throw the Cheezer's bag at Rigby and they drive away in their van.)
Where have you been? I’ve been waiting all day! (Mordecai gives Benson his burnt Grilled Cheese Deluxe) What the--What happened to my sandwich?!
Rigby[rambling] There were spacemen...at Cheezers...and the two...we went down it...everyone wore sweatpants...even us...and then the room with the bad stuff...but...we saved the city with your sandwich.
[sighs] Why do you always have to lie to my face?
We ran it over by accident.
See? Was it so hard to tell the truth?
RigbyIf you buy that cologne, then I'm gonna lose all respect for you!
Good. Then we'll both have the same amount of respect for each other.
Dude, these guys aren't trying to help me. They're just messing with me.
RigbyDude, they're just partying.
How is this supposed to help me get the ladies?
RigbyThey got you a lady.
(We see a long-haired man with an open green shirt on a chair in the corner. He has stubble on his chin, a necklace, wristbands, blue jeans, and cowboy boots)
That's not a lady. (approaches Billy, who's drinking soda with the 2nd Unicorn. He puts his hand on Billy's shoulder) Hey, I thought you were gonna help me with Margaret.
(angrily) Something's touching me! (elbows Mordecai, who flies onto the floor. The unicorns laugh)
RigbyHey, bros, check this out. (approaches Mordecai) Here, let me help you up. (He pulls his hand away at the last second) PSYCH! Why don't you ask Margaret to help you up? OHHHHH!
(The unicorns and Rigby laugh)
(angrily) You know what, Rigby? Have fun with your new friends, you jerk! Oh, and just so you know, when Benson finds out about your friends and their little hangout time, he's probably gonna fire you. Later, bro! [leaves]
Rigby(worriedly) Mordecai, wait! (the door shuts off-screen)
(from upstairs) Bros! I found a trampoline!
RigbyNo! (runs up to his room) What are you doing to my bed?!
You sleep on this, bro?
RigbyGet off it!
Right after this somersault! (flips in mid air and his horn rips the trampoline, falling to the floor. Rigby gasps) Bros, this trampoline's all over me! Help me get it off!
(The unicorns run in, chanting 'bros', and in a matter of seconds, reduce the trampoline to torn fabric and twisted metal)
RigbyMy bed!
(Billy and 3rd Unicorn are shown by the closet door)
Hey, bro. You know this nerd?
(They open the closet door to show Benson, bound, gagged, and suspended from a coat hook. Benson rages from behind his gag, but his words are unintelligible)
Check this out. (gets some gumballs out of Benson and eats them) What's the matter, Rigbone? You like that nerd or something?
(taps Rigby's shoulder) Yeah, dude. Chill out! And have a DRINK! (sprays him with a soda can, temporarily blinding Rigby)
(In his confusion, Rigby stumbles between the unicorns, who have formed a circle with the intention of repeatedly farting in his face)
Hey, Skips...
RigbyWe have a problem.
Unicorns?
RigbyHow'd you know?
They peed on my lawn.
You guys know what to do, right?
Yeah.
(to the unicorns) Hey, Rigby, weren't we supposed to race some unicorns and not a bunch of losers?!
(Shouting all at once) BROS!! BROS!! BROS!!
Horseless carriages...
(Chanting "Bros")
Commence!
(The unicorns race off into the distance while chanting "Bros")
This is how you get rid of unicorns.
(Skips presses a button that forms a ramp on the ground, shooting the unicorns up into the sky, still chanting "Bros")
RigbyBut what if they come back?
They ain't coming back. (presses button)
(The unicorns and their car explode, leaving behind stars and sparkles)
Cooooooool!
That's the only way to get rid of unicorns.
(Scene cuts to daytime, with a close-up of a hand turning a valve and Water is shown flying from a hose. Benson is hosing down Mordecai and Rigby, who are screaming after getting soaked)
(furiously) I can't believe you idiots let those unicorns in here! You two morons had better get this mess cleaned up, or you'll wish it was YOU DRIVING THAT CAR!
RigbyThe unicorn one? (Benson sprays Rigby with the hose and Rigby falls over screaming) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!
(to Mordecai) And YOU!
(Mordecai screams, shaking in fear)
Quit spraying that cologne! It's not gonna get you any ladies! Idiots... [walks away]
Wanna go, bro?
RigbyStrong Johns?
Yeah.
[calls Benson]
Hello?
Hey, Benson, got any books by.....Joe Mama!?
(angrily) Who is this?
[Mordecai and Rigby laugh loudly]
[from phone] Wherever this is coming from, I will track you down and I will find you...!
Dude, he's still on the phone!
RigbyHe's STILL on the phone!?
He's STILL ON THE PHONE!!!
[both convulse in fits of laughter]
What just happened?
We need your help to prank the Master Prank Caller.
Who?
Why did you prank him?
(The telephone rings)
I'll take care of this. [Answers the telephone] Hello?
Nice ride, but I prefer mine better.
Hello?
This is the Master Prank Caller telling you—
Hello?
I said, this is the Master Prank—
Hello? I-I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
[frustrated] I SAID, THIS IS THE MASTER PRANK CALLER!!
Hello? Hello, are you there?
RRRGH!!! [WOOSH] I SAID—!!
Ha ha! Just kidding! You just got pranked, loser! [BEEP]
NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Now!
[Skips, Mordecai, Benson and Pops, jump on the Master Prank Caller and grab him by the arms and legs]
Now, Rigby! Hit the power button!
RigbyWho's the best prank caller now, jerk-dish? [Rigby presses the power button on the Master Prank Caller]
No! NO! NOOOO! [Falls down on the ground, knocked out]
Hey you two! Quit fooling around, we’re having an emergency meeting!
Aw, what?
RigbyBoo!
Outside, now!
Alright, everyone. I got some bad news. The park is being audited. ( He Points to Pops) Pops tried to pay the park taxes... [gives him a look] ...with lollipops.
[the rest of the workers voice their displeasure]
But I gave them more than enough!
We already went over this, Pops. You pay taxes with money, not lollipops.
[sadly' Oh...
Rigby[spits] What's the big deal? It's not like an audit is a bad thing.
It is a bad thing, Rigby! If we don't take care of this, the government takes all our stuff away.
[The park gang starts to panic]
Okay. We only have till 3:00 to stop the audit. Does anyone know someone who can help us? Anybody? Anybody at all?
I know someone who can help...
[angrily] If you say your mom, you're fired!
[long pause] My mom!
GET OUT!
It was worth it! [he and High Five Ghost high-five and walk away]
[thinks] Hmmm... Hmph! Hey! [looks at Rigby] We know someone.
RigbyWe do? [Mordecai raises his arms. Suddenly, Rigby knows who he's referring to] No! No way!
What? If you know somebody, you've got to tell me.
Rigby has a brother. [Rigby punches him in the butt] And he's an accountant. [Rigby punches him again, rapidly]
RigbySHUT UP!
Dude, what do you have against Don?
[Rigby gets mad, on the verge of crying. A ripple leads us to a flashback of Rigby's sixth birthday party. Pans down from the banner to a young Rigby]
Young RigbyGuys, guys, guys! [zooms out to reveal four bored children, one of them a young Mordecai] Watch me blow out the candle, guys!
[A door opens. Rigby's younger brother, Don, stands in the doorway. Somehow, he is taller than Rigby]
Hey, Rigby. Happy birthday, bro.
Young RigbyWha- wha - ? I told you to stay in the basement.
Oh. Sorry, Rigby. I just wanted to give you some birthday sugar.
Young RigbyI DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKING SUGAR!
I'll give you some sugar, Don.
Yeah, me too! [giggles]
[everyone but Mordecai gets up out of their seats to hug Don. Then, Mordecai follows, but Rigby tries to stop him by grabbing his arm]
Young RigbyDON'T YOU DARE!
I'm just getting some sugar, dude. [Rigby lets go of him] Besides, Don is cool.
[Mordecai goes to Don to give him sugar as everyone else laughs]
You're the best, Don!
[Young Rigby growls as ripple back to the present]
Yeah. Don really made that party.
Call your brother.
RigbyNo!
CALL YOUR BROTHER!
RigbyNO! I HATE HIM!!!
Fine! Mordecai, you call him.
RigbyYOU BETTER NOT!
Dude, he could save the park.
RigbyDude, he could ruin my life! If he comes, I'm gonna tell him to leave.
No, you won't, YOU BE NICE TO YOUR BROTHER OR YOUR FIRED!! [to Mordecai] Call him.
[to Rigby] Dude, just be cool until he stops the audit.
[Rigby growls, on the verge of tears.]
RigbyYou guys are making a big mistake!
Don't ruin this for us, Rigby!
Benson, give me some sugar! [hugs Benson] Nice to meet you! [points to Pops] Hey, who's this guy?
I'm Pops!
Pops, give me some sugar!
[runs laughing to Don and hugs him]
[hugs Skips] Don. Good to meet you. [to Mordecai] Look at this sugar shack. C'mere, guy! I haven't seen you in forever.
[hugs Don] Yeah, I know! It's been forever!
Rigby, give me some sugar, bro!
RigbyDon't you have taxies to do? Why don't you get to it?
Oh, ha ha... he was always greedy with the sugar.
RigbyAugh...! I can't wait for you to get out of my life!
What, bro?
[mouthing angrily] You keep your mouth SHUT!
RigbyNothing.
MordecaiJ. G. Quintel · 310 quotes
Benson DunwoodySam Marin · 195 quotes
Muscle Man SorrensteinSam Marin · 88 quotes
Pops MaellardSam Marin · 58 quotes
SkipsMark Hamill · 53 quotes
Eileen Roberts-RiggersonMinty Lewis · 42 quotes
Hi-Five GhostJ. G. Quintel · 23 quotes
Margaret SmithJanie Haddad-Tompkins · 23 quotes
C.JLinda Cardellini · 11 quotes
TThomas8 quotes
DRDon RiggersonJulian Dean · 7 quotes
ShermEddie Pepitone · 7 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.