Junior? Junior? Hey Junior? Where did you go?
[quietly and high-pitched] Honk!
Okay, Sister. Any other conditions I should know about?
SSister
Umm, Let's see... You know about all the ways I'm contagious...
Hey, what's going on here?
SSister
Oh! I'm color-blind!
Really? That's weird, but I don't think it'll cause any problems here. Okay, go ahead and bend over.
Wow! Yeah! You're really limber and in a really great shape.
I'm not gonna play against you in Twister.
Wowsers! I didn't even know a leg could bend that far. That is a leg, right? Okay. Oh and by the way, sorry if my hands are cold.
SSister
That's cool. Sorry if my body is a little hot.
[standing behind a corner] Hey, do you guys need any help in there?
SSister
Is someone spying on us? Yes! Hot!
No, we're good! Hey Sister? You want me to turn up the heat or something? You look like you're...
SSister
Eh, I'll be okay. Hard nipples won't kill you.
I could just walk around this corner, if you need me to. Wouldn't be a problem.
We got it! Hey, sorry I got you all wet before. I didn't even know how that bucket of baby oil got up on that shelf. That was weird.
SSister
That's okay. I think it will actually help. Squeezing these puppies into the armor could be a little difficult.
Maybe I should just look in there and see if there's anything I can do.
No thanks, Tucker. Maybe they need your help with the tank instead. You'll probably be a lot more valuable out there. What we're doing in here is pretty routine. Hey are you double-jointed?
[in an apologetic manner] blarg.
Ok please, really, no more stories.
SSister
Seriously, it's a head! Look.
(Spanish) Whatever, some way to treat your sidekick. Gone for days and you don't even look for me.
SSister
Uh, of course I do. It's the year 2500 and I'm from America.
Oh, cool. Tell him O'Malley's gone.
SSister
(Spanish) O'Malley isn't here. He already left.
(Spanish) Your Spanish sucks.
(Church and Tucker had just killed Sarge) Okay, hey. We killed one of your guys, and you killed one of ours. That makes us even.
Actually, we killed Tex and Junior, and they killed Sarge. So technically, that means we killed two people and they only killed one. (Church kills him with the sniper rifle) Son of a bitch!
Okay! Now we're even! Seriously! (Blues point guns at Grif and Donut; Grif lobs a grenade, everyone scatters, Donut gets in the ghost) Every man for himself!
Caboose! Get in that tank and give us cover fire.
And don't shoot me this time!
Okay (immediately shoots Church)
Wait, what was that first part again?(Grif begins to destroy Caboose's tank) Abandon ship! Running, running, running! (tank blows up)
Don't worry Sister, I'll protect you.
Sarge, I thought you were dead!
I was dead, Doc revived me!
That's right! And if anyone else needs medical attention, I would be more than happy to hel- (Sarge kills him) Son of a bitch!
Oh, I'm sorry! Doc will be unable to assist anyone else. (Sister kills him) Ah, son of a bitch again. Medic!
Well Sister, this looks like it. I don't think we're gonna make it, the reds are on the attack, and now Doc is dead and can't help us.
(dying) Actually, I'm not dead! if you could just hand me my first-aid kit- (Tucker shoots him) Oh, son of a bitch!
And now that Doc is actually dead, I don't think we're gonna make it. I don't wanna die a virgin!
Wouldn't you rather spend your last few moments as a lover and not as a fighter?
SSister
I never thought about that, Uh-huh.
I've always wanted to go out-
SSister
Hey, uh, no offense, are you gonna keep talking or are we gonna see some action!
Bow Chicka Bow- (Grif shoots him) Ow!
Stay away from my sister!
SSister
Grif, I liked him! He was nice to me! (kills Grif)
SSister
(Donut runs her over with his ghost) Son of a bitch! I can't believe you'd hit a girl!
Whatever, bitch! Reow! (Caboose is running away, picks up a rocket launcher) Now it's time to pound some Caboose! Woo-hoo! (drives toward him; Caboose blows him up with the rocket launcher) Son of a bitch!
I won! I am the greatest! I beat everyone! And now, no one is left but me! (ghost lands on him, kills him) Son of a bitch.
Hang up the fucking phone! [People yell]
SSister
God, chill out everybody, I have to take this! It could be incredibly important! [answers] Yo, what up, fools? [people yell] Oh, nothing. Whatcha doing? [More yelling] Aw, no way! I'm watching that movie right now too! [yelling] Oh snap, we're in the same theater! [Donut stands up]
SSister
What's up, dawg? God, doesn't this movie suck? All the people in here are assholes!
Red vs Blue · 504 quotes