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S5

Red vs Blue · Season 5

“Missed Direction (Episode 91)” quotes from Red vs Blue

3 quotes

“Missed Direction (Episode 91)” · Season 5

In this episode: Simmons (1), Grif (1), Caboose (1), Tucker (1), Sarge (1), Donut (1), Tex (1), Doc (1)

Junior? Junior? Hey Junior? Where did you go?

Honk!

There you are!

Honk!

You little rascal.

[quietly and high-pitched] Honk!

Okay, Sister. Any other conditions I should know about?

Umm, Let's see... You know about all the ways I'm contagious...

Hey, what's going on here?

Oh! I'm color-blind!

Really? That's weird, but I don't think it'll cause any problems here. Okay, go ahead and bend over.

Sure. Like this?

Wow! Yeah! You're really limber and in a really great shape.

Yeah I am!

I'm not gonna play against you in Twister.

Check this out!

Wowsers! I didn't even know a leg could bend that far. That is a leg, right? Okay. Oh and by the way, sorry if my hands are cold.

That's cool. Sorry if my body is a little hot.

[standing behind a corner] Hey, do you guys need any help in there?

Is someone spying on us? Yes! Hot!

No, we're good! Hey Sister? You want me to turn up the heat or something? You look like you're...

Eh, I'll be okay. Hard nipples won't kill you.

I could just walk around this corner, if you need me to. Wouldn't be a problem.

We got it! Hey, sorry I got you all wet before. I didn't even know how that bucket of baby oil got up on that shelf. That was weird.

That's okay. I think it will actually help. Squeezing these puppies into the armor could be a little difficult.

Maybe I should just look in there and see if there's anything I can do.

No thanks, Tucker. Maybe they need your help with the tank instead. You'll probably be a lot more valuable out there. What we're doing in here is pretty routine. Hey are you double-jointed?

Yeah.

[sarcastic] Great!

Honk!

Don't rub it in.

[in an apologetic manner] blarg.

Come on. Grif should be right over here.

Don't listen to him, Sarge! He's just trying to score more drugs to keep his habit alive! Remember last month, when he asked for money? It was for drugs!

That was part of the budgetary meeting, Donut! He needed more funds for vehicle maintenance.

Enabler!

I see something.

Ah, there's my shotgun! Mission accomplished! Excellent work, men. Let's hang up a banner.

There's Grif.

Oh right, and Grif... Excellent- somethin'-or-other... He[Grif moaning]-w-why do I even bother?

[Weak] What happened? What did you do to me?

We got knocked-the fuck-out out! And the people who did it must've taken you.

Oh, right. They kept asking me questions... They wanted information...

Information? What did the-

Woah, woah, they wanted information and they took you!? Why wouldn't they take me?

What did they look like?

Sarge, please. I was right there next to you. If they needed information, why would they take you instead of me?

What, are you jealous? Jesus..

No. I think if you're gonna drug and torture people, you don't need to insult their intelligence too. That's just mean.

Yeah, you're jealous.

Besides, takin' all the fun out of interrogating.

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