Stephen Fry quotes from QI

Stephen Fry

The great thing about Sainsburys, it keeps the scum out of Waitrose.

Stephen Fry

Little girls grow up to be women, and little boys grow up to be big little boys.

Stephen Fry

[After Alan gets a question right.] A jolly encouraging and patronising round of applause to you.

Stephen Fry

Christopher Hitchens rather wonderfully said: The four most overrated things in the world are: lobster, champagne, anal sex and picnics.

Stephen Fry

You try it once. Like incest or Country Dancing.

Stephen Fry

So it's a kind of can't-really-exist colour and yet it does. It's what you might call, I suppose, [chuckles] a Pigment of the Imagination.

Stephen Fry

I'm very proud to be part of a show where we can spend 10 minutes discussing a mango.

Stephen Fry

There is a moss that destroys itself: Kate Moss

Stephen Fry

Bitchin' about lichen.

Stephen Fry

Last night, I tossed two heads at the same time...[general facepalming]

Stephen Fry

Many supposedly monogamous birds have a tit on the side.

Stephen Fry

You oscillate its tits a lot.

Stephen Fry

Now, why... Hugh?

Yes?

Stephen Fry

Why does the actor Edward Woodward have 4 Ds in his name?

Well... No! What are you doing?

John Sessions

I'm sorry!

What are you doing?

He can’t do that!

John Sessions

I'm sorry. It was a spasm.

John Sessions

I’ll put it out. Just carry on.

Alan Davies

Did you know, this is quite interesting...

Stephen Fry

Yes, good. That’s what we’re here for.

Alan Davies

Did you know, kiwi fruit uses more than its own weight in aviation fuel to get from New Zealand to Europe?

Stephen Fry

Another 5 points. It sounds mad, but is of course true. Absolutely.

Alan Davies

And regarding the Edward Woodward...

Stephen Fry

Yes?

Alan Davies

That’s how you spell it!

Stephen Fry

Oh, no, let Hugh... Poor Hugh.

No really, that’s fine. I was gonna say exactly that. It’s got that many Ds in it, cos that’s his name! If you took the Ds out, it would be a different name.

Alan Davies

Ewar Woowar!

Ewar Woowar.

Stephen Fry

Exactly. It would be Ewar Woowar. It’s a sort of structural device, like a joist, which stops his name collapsing into the sort of spongey mass of Ewar Woowar.

Stephen Fry

What would you do with a pencil and a lesser anteater?

Alan Davies

Oh, hours of fun.

Stephen Fry

Where is ninety percent of the universe? Jeremy?

Jeremy Hardy

Ikea.

Alan Davies

I nearly injured myself the other day.

Stephen Fry

Oh yes?

Alan Davies

I was standing...

Stephen Fry

This is a not quite interesting?

Alan Davies

I was standing at the urinal and it was so high I had to stand on tip toe, and I nearly pulled a muscle in the hamstring area. It must have been a really really lanky plumber who put it up.

Stephen Fry

It must have been.

Bill Bailey

You were in a giant’s toilet.

Alan Davies

Stumbled into a giant's loo.

Jeremy Hardy

Might have been a fountain.

Bill Bailey

It was a font in a church.

Alan Davies

It was outdoors... [Realising what Bill said.] I was not weeing in a font! I resent that.

Bill Bailey

I baptise you... oh, stop that. Distguting.