Sue Perkins quotes from QI

Sue Perkins

And that will be the only quote, that's it, I've blown all my quotes.

Sue Perkins

At what point does Hamlet say Hakuna matata?

Sue Perkins

Biggest knitted object? Well, I’ve had my doubts about Venus for a long time...

Sue Perkins

All I know about space is taken entirely from Sandra Bullock's performance in Gravity

Sue Perkins

We know a little bit about it. We know that thunderbolt and lightning, is very, very frightening.

Jack Dee

I was a goth for a while.

Stephen Fry

Were you?

Jack Dee

I was asked to leave, 'cos I was just too miserable.

Sue Perkins

You were bringing them down.

Alan Davies

I was an emu for a while.

Sue Perkins

When did the hand come out?

Jack Dee

What’s the difference between an emo and a goth? I missed that.

Alan Davies

One’s a flightless bird. The other one’s a horny headed vandal.

Stephen Fry

Alan, you're a zombie. You bite Jimmy. Jimmy, you're now a zombie, you bite Jack. Jack, Jack bites Mel, and so on.

Alan Davies

[pointing at Sue Perkins, who's rolling her eyes] Sue.

Stephen Fry

What?

Alan Davies

Sue!

Stephen Fry

[Realizes what he has said, buries his face in his hands]

Jimmy Carr

Stephen, ten points now if you know her name.

Sue Perkins

Is this the warm, personal touch that you get when you come to this show?

Stephen Fry

[bright red] I'm so ashamed! Oh Sue, I'm sorry.

Alan Davies

No-one noticed, Hugh.

Jimmy Carr

Their defence is to dazzle? Tada!

Sue Perkins

It’s the John Barrowman of the deep sea...

Alan Davies

Stand back or I’ll show you my teeth!

Stephen Fry

Where does the saying 'saved by the bell' come from?

Jack Dee

[hits his buzzer, then grimaces] Oh no, I know what's gonna happen now. It's gonna be, I'm gonna get the klaxon for this. Is it boxing? Is it a boxing reference?

Stephen Fry

Yes!

Jack Dee

Oh.

Alan Davies

Is it - is this where the bells gonna go off…

Sue Perkins

[whispering] Don't do it!

Alan Davies

...Is it going back to being buried alive?

Jimmy Carr

How can you get it wrong after he's got it right?

Sue Perkins

All you need is an analogy that’s pertinent to you, so in my case: All relationships. And then you realize: Perfect eighteen month, and then they're dead.

Stephen Fry

The second law of sexual dynamics.

Sue Perkins

Yeah, according to me, that's how I extrapolate.

Brian Cox

To make that statistically significant though, you'd have to have an awful lot of relationships.

Sue Perkins

Oh, I do.

Stephen Fry

"Welcome to Northamptonshire - Let yourself..."

Sue Perkins

"…down."

Stephen Fry

After all, as you know, there is a tradition, is there not, the very saying of the word Macbeth in a theatre brings bad luck.

Sue Perkins

You have to sleep with all your co-stars immediately.

Stephen Fry

Is that what you were told?

Stephen Fry

There was one based on The Comedy of Errors...

Sue Perkins

What happens in The Comedy of Errors?

Stephen Fry

There are two sets of identical twins...

Sue Perkins

[exasperated at Shakespeare's stock characters] Oh God, one of them's shipwrecked, "who's a girl, who's a boy?", "I'm married!", everyone's dead!

Stephen Fry

Might have been a prostitute, might have been a brothel.

Sue Perkins

So a brothel bill, then.

Bill Bailey

I didn't have that.

Sue Perkins

To be honest, the service charge in this is redundant.

Bill Bailey

I had one of them, two of them...

David Mitchell

I asked for that, but it never happened.

Stephen Fry

It was off.

Bill Bailey

If we all chip in...

Stephen Fry

Why don't we have a big one, and we all have a bit?

Stephen Fry

Anyway, what made Lord Byron limp?

Sue Perkins

That's a follow-up question.

Bill Bailey

Item four on the brothel bill...?

Stephen Fry

So, what begins with J and appears to be alive?

Jo Brand

Is it me?

Stephen Fry

You begin with J and are most magnificently radiantly alive.

Jo Brand

He's on the turn.

Liza Tarbuck

James Blunt.

Stephen Fry

Closer, I grant you.

Sue Perkins

Jeremy Clarkson.

Stephen Fry

This is something that appears to be alive, but quite obviously isn’t.

Sue Perkins

Jedward then. I'm revising my original answer.