Stephen Fry quotes from QI

Stephen Fry

What is the biggest joke ever to come out of Alaska?

Sandi Toksvig

Sarah Palin!

Stephen Fry

Within 10 years, tell me when this great, huge explosion...

Alan Davies

1883.

Stephen Fry

1883?

Bill Bailey

Um... 1882.

Stephen Fry

Right. Ladies and gentlemen, viewers at home, brace yourselves.

Bill Bailey

Oh, hello.

Stephen Fry

The explosion, the enormous, gigantic eruption of Krakatoa was in 1883.

Alan Davies

Thank you.

Stephen Fry

Can I just say, wtf?

Alan Davies

There was a documentary about it on the BBC where they re-enacted it.

Stephen Fry

Well remembered.

Stephen Fry

Just out of interest, how many popes does the Vatican have per square kilometre?

Cal Wilson

How many popes? Like, buried, or in storage?

Stephen Fry

No, actually live, living popes.

Alan Davies

One.

Stephen Fry

No. It’s actually 2.27 recurring, because the Vatican City’s only 0.44 or a kilometre. So the average would be per square kilometre.

Jimmy Carr

Well, I think we have it, ladies and gentlemen, the most annoying question ever asked!

Stephen Fry

What is Australia's deadliest animal?

Julia Zemiro

Oh! Rupert Murdoch!

Stephen Fry

What would be the best way for Tarzan to get around the jungle?

Alan Davies

He gets around by swimming, and swinging on, what does he swing on, Greg?

Vines?

Stephen Fry

Whoa!

Stephen Fry

[points to Alan] You trapped him! Oh, Alan, you wicked, wicked - that was diabolical.

Alan Davies

I feel really good tonight. I think I’ve finally nailed this game.

Stephen Fry

I’m going to show you another animal, it’s a common blue butterfly, that has been described by the famous naturalist Geoffrey Grigson as having a particular smell.

Alan Davies

Finger of fudge.

Stephen Fry

Yes!

Alan Davies

What?!

Stephen Fry

Unbelievable! I mean, I’ve got to accept that because the answer is chocolate. That is amazing.

Stephen Fry

What lives underwater and is the loudest creature for its size? [Greg buzzes in] Greg Proops?

Oprah.

Stephen Fry

Good answer, but untrue.

Alan Davies

Is it gonna be the blue whale?

Brian Cox

What are the rules of sodomy?

Stephen Fry

It's...erm...um...eye-wateringly complex.

Stephen Fry

Ada Lovelace was the daughter of...?

Alan Davies

Mr Software.

Stephen Fry

What would be the best planet to take your annual holiday on? Yes?

Sarah Millican

Earth.

Stephen Fry

Absolutely the right answer, I can frankly say. I don’t think there could be a better answer.

David Mitchell

Well, the great advantage of earth is that you can survive on it.

Stephen Fry

Yes.

David Mitchell

So lovely on a holiday, isn’t it? To just live through it.

Stephen Fry

Amazingly and finally, there is no minus score. Wow.

Stephen Fry

In first place...

Alan Davies

Patronising bastards. I’ve had points before.

Stephen Fry

Where did Beethoven put his 'Jingling Jolly'?

Sarah Millican

Mrs. Beethoven?

Stephen Fry

Do you know what that one was called, by any chance?

Alan Davies

Dave.

Stephen Fry

One day the answer might be Dave, one day the answer might be blue whale. You know what I’m looking forward to is when we have a blue whale called Dave and you don’t get it.

Stephen Fry

What's the best flavour for an exploding sandwich?

Cheese and Ham-grenade.

Stephen Fry

So, simple question, who’s happy?

Alan Davies

He’s happy in the picture.

Julia Zemiro

Yep. Old men with young ladies. Oh, old ladies with young men. Why not? Not me.