Sarah Millican quotes from QI

Sarah Millican

My dad once punched a bee.

Stephen Fry

Why aren’t there any vegan Venus Flytraps?

Sarah Millican

Maybe there are, but people don’t invite them round for dinner cos it’s too complicated.

Sarah Millican

I’ve got a rule, like, if it comes in my house, then I’m allowed to kill it.

Stephen Fry

Right.

Sarah Millican

For trespassing.

Stephen Fry

So how many Jehova’s Witnesses...?

Stephen Fry

What would be the best planet to take your annual holiday on? Yes?

Sarah Millican

Earth.

Stephen Fry

Absolutely the right answer, I can frankly say. I don’t think there could be a better answer.

David Mitchell

Well, the great advantage of earth is that you can survive on it.

Stephen Fry

Yes.

David Mitchell

So lovely on a holiday, isn’t it? To just live through it.

Stephen Fry

Where did Beethoven put his 'Jingling Jolly'?

Sarah Millican

Mrs. Beethoven?

You definitely have a man-cave, the question is: do you have two?

...no...?!

Stephen Fry

How can I tell the age of this tree?

Alan Davies

Chop it down.

Sarah Millican

Yeah, count the rings.

Sarah Millican

Is that not right?

Stephen Fry

Well, not really, no. It’s a sort of rough guide, but it doesn’t really tell you...

Sarah Millican

Well it’s a rough guide. Maybe that’s all I’m after. Maybe I’m not all that bothered about accuracy, Stephen. Maybe I’ve got shit to do.