LLiam
[pinning down Perry with his boot] AHA! GOTCHA! [puts on Perry's fedora] My greatest hunt ever ENDS RIGHT HERE!
DoofenshmirtzStop what you're doing, McCracken! STEP AWAY FROM THE PLATYPUS!
Doofenshmirtz
I like you to meet my ladies. [two old groundkeepers arrive at his side] Ruth and Esther!
LLiam
[scoffs] Docents. [Ruth angrily points to a "Keep Off the Grass' sign which Liam is standing next to] Aw, not again! [throwing the fedora back to Perry] I'll be right be back! I know how to hand these ladies. [to the ladies] Uh... the sign must've been installed... I've never seen it before.
RRuth
Nice try, Liam, but this is you third infraction as of many weeks! Hand over your membership card!
LLiam
What?! Let's not get crazy now! [turns in his card]
RRuth
All of your gardening privileges have been revoked for ten days! Esther will escort you off the grounds!
[Esther bring in a wheelchair for Liam to sit in]
LLiam
But I can't leave. It's my natural habitat!
RRuth
Your file says you're from Pittsburgh!
LLiam
[speaking in an American accent] But it's not my fault! It's HIM! [points to Perry] It's the platypus you want!
[Ruth and Esther spot Perry, and Liam's wheelchair starts to roll down the hill, taking a screaming Liam with it]
RRuth
Aw, how cute he is. What a handsome platypus.
Don't worry, Kelly. I am totally down for being second banana.
Doofenshmirtz
Well, first of all, that's a little sad. But, second of all, technically, you would be third banana. It would go: Kelly, and then me, and then you. And, ih, I would be second banana.
KOKelly Osbourne
Nobody is a banana, because there are no bananas!
[Doofenshmirtz is hiding in the balcony while Norm is stuck on a wall thanks to a giant bat inside Doofenshmirtz's laboratory]
Doofenshmirtz
Vanessa? Oh no. [crawls inside back to the lab] Vanessa! GET OUTTA THERE! There's a huge bat on the loose!
Really? [sees the giant bat shrieking at her] WHOA! Cool! It looks like your cousin Narthelliot.
Doofenshmirtz
No sudden movements or loud noises, Vanessa.
Dad, relax. It's just a bat. They just eat bugs.
Doofenshmirtz
But it's a very big bat.
Now c'mon. [gets Doofenshmirtz to stand up] Just stand up. It's okay. It's time to face your fear.
Doofenshmirtz
[sighs] Well, okay. [the giant bat grabs him with its mouth]
[shocked by this and angrily pounds the bat's underbelly] Oh NO, NO, NO! Bad bat! SPIT HIM OUT!
RRodrigo
Hmm. Let's see, the bats to secret. [Vanessa crying] Oh, don't cry. They're like you.
[The O.W.C.A. animal agents are having their graduation ceremony on one side of the Knights of Danville Hall ballroom as well as the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. evil scientists are having their disservice awards in the other, and are all sharing the same space with the divider in the middle]
[closes the divider after seeing Doofenshmirtz] Huh. What are the odds?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz
[opens the divider] Wait, you're the Capulet Bar Mitzvah?
You're the Hatfield Wedding? [the animal agents and evil scientist all make angry looks at each other, preparing to brawl] Alright, everyone, take it easy. Just calm down. No reason to get upset. We've got a massive security deposit on this place. So, everybody just...
PParrot
[squawks] Polly wants a street-fight!
[They all charge at each other and break out in a western-style brawl]
MMan
[enters the ballroom and the fighting screeches to a stop as everybody looks at him] Hup. Sorry to interrupt. I'll come back when you're done. [leaves and the brawl resumes]
We are so gonna lose our deposit.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz
Ah, Perry the Platypus, have I got a surprise for you! [zaps his inator at Perry, making him grow to a giant size] Okay, note to self: Only use the Make-Bigger-inator outside. You weren't supposed to get that big, Perry the Platypus, only 20% bigger.
[Giant Perry stomps through the straights of Danville, causing some accidental destruction while struggling with his size]
MIMan In Helicopter
[through megaphone] Thank goodness it was National Evacuate the City Day!
[Perry accidentally crushes the WJOP radio antenna with his tail, then looks down, seeing Phineas and Ferb on the street]
[surprised by Perry's humongous size; calling out] Whoa! Perry, is that you?!
[Perry steps on a clown car with his foot after the clowns get out and run away, causing him to slip and fall, and is about to crush the boys… when it's soon revealed to be just a simulation projected onto a screen]
Dr Doofenshmirtz
Wakey-wakey, Perry the Platypus! Did you enjoy your giant movie monster dream? [Perry shockingly chatters as he wakes up] Yes, yes, it was just a dream. I... I'll explain. Have you ever noticed that everyone always wants to tell you their dreams, and... and they're so boring? They just go on and on and on and on. And... And there's no character development. There's nothing that's hooking me into the story. I'd rather just wait for the movie. And to that end, behold, my Dream-Project-inator! Y-You'll never guess what it does. It projects people's drea-- I-I guess it's in the name.
(yelling impatiently) Stop! Enough! You're driving me nuts!
[Cut to Doof and Perry's elevator as Doof is making Perry out of his clothes.]
Doofenshmirtz
Yeah, keep it down in there!
[Cut back to Candace and the boys.]
No problem. I'm not sure why it makes you upset, though. It seems sometimes that you make the most upset that we're doing something cool.
You think I seem upset? (yells) Of course I'm upset!
Phineas and Ferb · 569 quotes
