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340 QUOTES

A character in Parks and Recreation

Leslie Knope quotes from Parks and Recreation

Played by Amy Poehler · 340 quotes · page 23 of 23

Leslie Knope

Most-quoted character in Parks and Recreation: in 340 of its 658 quotes
Most scenes with: Ron Swanson (73), Ann Perkins (51), Ben Wyatt (49)

Scenes with Leslie Knope 275

You left. Then about a month later you took Terry with you.

Leslie

Yeah, well, we needed a mindless factotum and he's the best there is.

Ron Amen. [pause] Then you took April. I didn't want her to go as she had become one of my closest workplace acquaintances, but your offer was too good to pass up so I didn't try to stop her. Then Tom left to run his business, Donna left to run hers. One day, I looked up, just didn't recognize anyone. So I made a decision. An unthinkable decision.

[flashback to Ron walking into Leslie's office]

Leslie

Hey! Well, my my my, do my eyes deceive me? Is that Ron Swanson?

Ron Hello, Leslie. Hello, April, Larry.

Uh, it's Terry now.

OK. As luck would have it-

[Leslie is handed a report from a subordinate]

Leslie

Just a second. Oh, did you talk to Randy about the vote? Tell the northeast that we need to put pressure on them or else we're gonna be waiting forever and I'm tired of waiting on them, OK? [Leslie turns back to Ron] Sorry, this is a crazy day. So what's up with you, you big lug?

Nothing important. Just thought you might want to have lunch. Tomorrow?

Leslie

I would love to! It's been too long! JJ's Diner, 12:30.

Excellent. See ya then.

Leslie

OK!

So Randy says the House is voting tomorrow and they need us in Washington to prep.

Leslie

Oh my God, really?

Yep.

Leslie

OK, get us the first flight out of here, grab the Missouri files, meet me at my car. [April hands Leslie her cell, with Ben on the line] Hey babe, I gotta go to Washington. Can you pick up the kids?

[cuts back to 2017]

Leslie

Aw, oh no, Ron. I stood you up for lunch.

You did, yes. I waited for a while but it was pretty easy to figure out what had happened. Your life seemed pretty hectic.

Leslie

Is that the rest of the story? That I stood you up? [Ron goes silent] You were going to ask me something. That's why you wanted to have lunch. Ron, you were going-?

I was going to ask you for a job. In the federal government. Just saying it out loud feels dirty.

Leslie

You missed your friends and you wanted to come up to the third floor and work with us again. I can't even imagine how hard that must have been for you. God, why didn't I see that? Ron, I'm so sorry. I should have been a better friend to you.

Honestly, Leslie, it's fine. It was a punctuation mark on a sentence that had already been written. My time in government work was over. Sure, I love shutting things down and bleeding the rotting beast from the inside...

Leslie

Your metaphors are so beautiful.

...but it was time for me to leave. And I didn't feel like explaining why to you or anyone. Everything that happened after - the fight we had, not giving you a heads up when my company took on the Morningstar development, when I bulldozed the nurse's old house - I do regret that. I had a good run here, but after you and Tom and Donna and April and Terry left, I looked around this office, nothing was the same.

Leslie

Yeah, well, there's a way to fix that.

[Leslie and Ron spend the rest of the night getting drunk, cleaning the office, and rearranging it to look as it was during their time there]

Leslie

Okay, monsters! Mommy and Daddy have to pack because we are going to a hotel but Roz is gonna stay here with you.

Yeah we are gonna have so much fun! We're gonna play games! We're gonna color! ...Maybe we're even gonna sit quietly for...30 seconds!? [the kids run off] Do you think that I could have 30 seconds!?

Leslie

[to Ben] She's fading. Roz! Hey! You are a wonderful nanny. You're tough and strong and you're an excellent caretaker for our children.

Yeah every time you come to our house we are so happy to see you.

Leslie

I love you more than Ben.

...

Leslie

I do. If Ben left me I would be sad but I would get though it. But if you left me...I would never recover.

[touched] Thanks. That helps.

Leslie

Babe you are killing it!

I am right!?

Leslie

Yes!

Even just thinking I'm a congressman makes me feel like one! Oh also I have a little secret, I'm drunk!

Leslie

I am too! Ever since we had our kids it only takes like one sip of wine!

I feel so good and condifent...con...I feel condifent.

[drunk] Hey everybody! I'm Ben Wyatt! Listen, we of course are here to celebrate Donna and Joe and I have to say you know getting married is the bravest most wonderful thing you can do. Because everyday you come home and your just like "What!? It's you! I love you! You're my sexy roommate! We love each other!"

Leslie

Wooo! He's talkin about me!

Yes I am baby doll! Look. Donna and Joe are great! You all, are great! And this wedding, is gonna be amazing! Let's get some music and dancing going. And I am Ben Wyatt and I very much APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!

[music starts playing and Leslie and Ben start drunk dancing]

You want me to shut that down?

No I liked it. Let the little man dance.

You left me four messages last night.

What?

They contain very specific policy positions.

[Jen holds up her phone]

[over phone] I wanna come out strong on education then I'll tack hard into fiscal responsibility!

Oh God...

Leslie

[over phone] 867-5309!

I love that song.

Leslie

[over phone] Jenny I got your numb- Hey babe it's ringing!

Leslie

Wow honey you were a lot more lucid than I was.

Wait, were you guys drunk? That is hilarious! Oh you guys are gonna fit in so great in Washington. Most of Congress is drunk all of the time.

Leslie

Oh my God! Oh! Look how beautiful you look!

Leslie, I'm not even in my dress yet.

Leslie

[crying] But you're gonna be very soon!

Alright I wanna say something to my girls. Knope, your a softie but on the inside you are straight up boss. April, you're the exact opposite. Ya'll inspire me and I love you. And you too Michelle.

[Michelle walks up]

Michelle. You were my best friend from childhood. Until we lost touch because you thought your college boyfriend was into me. He was. I never gave him the time of day. But now, we're rebuilding our friendship. Is this wedding gonna be a test for you? Yes. But the doctors once told ya you were never gonna walk again so this should be easy right?

Leslie

Wow what a complicated tapestry that is!

Leslie

What did I do wrong now?

EYElise Yartkin

No, actually we at the IOW loved what you said in your speech.

Leslie

Really!?

EYElise Yartkin

But, what we loved even more was how you, Ben gave Leslie a platform on which to speak her mind. Congratulations Ben Wyatt. You are this year's IOW Woman of the Year.

Leslie

Son of a bitch!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Parks and Recreation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.