Christian Troy quotes from Nip/Tuck

Sean

How do you feel about taking on an intern?

Christian

What does she look like?

Sean

He is a friend of Julia's from school. Jude, something. I could use the points. She's pissed that I'm not outraged enough about Matt's three-way.

Christian

Alright with me, partner. I'd much rather have him hanging around here all day than hanging shirtless by your pool feeding your wife margaritas.

Kimber

[referring to her nurse's outfit] I spent $400 on this outfit. I'm just trying to do what you wanted and spice things up.

Christian

Here's the dilemma. You think a jockey wants to come home to see his girlfriend dressed like a horse? I'm around nurses all day, sweetheart. If I wanted to screw one of them, I would've by now.

Christian

Are you doing this because you were rejected by a woman?

One woman? Try thirty. In one night.

Christian

[Edit] Don't worry, Mr. Mantegna. When we're done with you, the only tits you'll be feeling up are gonna belong to Hooters girls.

[in examination] Dr. Troy, you are the only man I want handling my penis.

Christian

You are the only man who's ever said that to me.

Is the scar really gone? My fiance doesn't like going down.

Christian

And you're gonna marry that bitch?

Just don't tell my girlfriend.

So the cream will help it all go away in two weeks?

Christian

Or your money back.

Christian

[upon learning that Sean made a pass at Dr. Grace Santiago] Did you hire her because you're afraid that she might sue?

Lawsuits typically happen when you lose your job after you have slept with the boss.

Christian

Is that a threat?

Sean

[to Christian] Wait... you slept with Grace?

Christian

[rolls his eyes]

Sean

Goddamn it! Are you out of your mind? How could you do this!

Christian

Sleep with someone who rejected you?

Christian

I don't like her, Sean. She is a troublemaker and her shoes are cheap.

Sean

Shut up, Christian, just shut up. I need to think.

Christian

This is about you playing Demi Moore with some 25-year-old punk kid with an overactive libido.

Julia

The one with an overactive libido is a middle-aged surgeon. You fired him for revenge. [Edit] Someone else wants me and you can't stand it.

Christian

Please, I can have anyone anytime I want it.

Julia

You can't have me.

Christian

Julia, your boy toy is me.

Julia

15 years younger.

Christian

What do you think that would be like? To want to get rid of your penis? The hub of all power?

Sean

Actually, I admire her conviction. It takes...

Christian

Balls?

Liz

I have a tattoo on my right breast. Two female symbols intertwined.

Christian

Double dykes?

Liz

I'm expressing my lesbian identity.

Christian

[referring to the cadaver] Sean, we've got to switch heads.

Sean

No, we're not. [Edit] Practice makes perfect.

Christian

Practice on what? Mr. Potato Head? There is only one way. Kill Ms. Grubman and practice on her.

Gina

Yeah, that's right, asshole. I'm pregnant.

Christian

First time at the plate and I get credited with the RBI.

Gina

You were the only batter.

Christian

I was wearing a rubber.

Gina

Well, slugger, either it broke or I'm carrying the next savior.

Gina

[surprise to see Christian show up in person] Phone out of order?

Christian

I just thought I should be here to catch you when you fainted from shock. I think we should have this baby. I mean, you should have it, and I´ll pay for it.

Gina

Cue the violins. Why the change of heart?

Christian

I´ve realized I want more. I wanna give more.

Gina

What's the matter Christian, not turned on by pregnant women?

Christian

No, just not by you.

Christian

What's this? You're still smoking?

Gina

I have cravings! Withdrawal is very hard on the baby. I can only eat so much. Would you rather I suck on these or some random guy?

Christian

Do you have any idea what smoking does to a growing fetus? Try acupuncture.

Gina

That'll take care of my addiction but what about my oral fixation?

Christian

Then I'll buy you a bag of goddamn lollipops!

Christian

This is good.

Gina

Its Mahi-Mahi with an Asian slaw. I found the recipe online.

Christian

So what do you want? You need something.

Gina

I need you to make love to me.

Christian

You better have made a kick-ass dessert too, sweetheart.

Gina

I'm serious, Christian. I've got to get this baby out of me. My back aches. My bowels are backed up like a stadium toilet.

Christian

Your seduction skills need a little work.