Never Mind the Buzzcocks Season 13 quotes

Simon

So uh, one of the girls, I don't know which one. It would probably be wrong to name them, maybe it's wrong to say it at all. Should I stop? No, OK. Um, she had her first, you know, "becoming a woman" experience in our studio.

And you filmed it!

Simon

No, we didn't film it! No. It happened in one of the dressing rooms. We've since redecorated, it was fine...So anyway, they came back and we were all very sensitive about it. We introduced them as our favourite band in the world...period.

Nice to see you taking notes there, Bill

I just like to be, uh, apposite of the facts.

No you don't, you like to say cheese and weasels then go "urrh".

Or Cheesels as I like to call them. A weaselly snack with a cheese finish.

I thought you was down with Westwood, man.

I'm not down with Westwood!

No? I thought you was down with that, the bitches and the hoes and wh- [Romeo starts laughing]

Oh I understand the phrase bitches and hoes. Disrespectful terms for ladies.

I thought you said ditches and hose. Like a landscape gardening thing. "I'll be down with my ditches, and my hose. Later on I'll be building a water feature!"