NCIS · Season 4
Well no bag, maybe the killer took it.
Maybe she just didn't have a bag.
Every woman has a bag.
Do I have a bag, McGee?
No, but you're not a... Well, I mean you're a woman, it's just, you're not a... Not a normal... You're right, every woman does not have a bag.
[The team is preparing Special Agent Lee for an undercover assignment to infiltrate a sex trafficking ring]
She looks the part, just like a..
Whore?
[glares at Ziva] A courtesan.
That was quick.
You solved this case? Already, DiNozzo?
No. It's my hundredth body. Hey, listen. [handing Gibbs the camera] You wouldn't mind taking a...? Sorry. It's a bad idea. It seemed less disgusting in my head.
Compared to what else is in there, I'm sure it was.
Ah, there you are, Jen. I've been looking all over for you.
I thought since we were short on agents, Abby could use some help.
The only reason we are short on agents is because you sent DiNozzo home.
Well, there's no sense getting us all sick...
[as Gibbs] Next time you send one of my team home you clear it with me first, Director! [as Jen] Oh, I didn't know I needed your permission to handle my own personnel, Agent Gibbs! [as Gibbs] Your personnel?! [as Jen] Last time I checked, it said "Director" on my door, not yours! [to both of them] The kids don't like it when mommy and daddy fight.
[seeing McGee in the elevator waiting for Gibbs] And here I thought being sent to the principal's office was bad.
[about floor mat in taxi] I thought it smelled like Niozoprine.
Niozoprine? [smells it and gags]
Industrial strength vomit cleaner.
Do you know what a "clog" is?
A shoe or a blocked drain?
No, on the Internet.
Oh, I thought it was called a "blog," but then again my English is often wrong.
Sometimes a little lie is good for the soul.
[to Jeanne after discussing their relationship] If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you always got. And while what I got had its perks, I'm looking for something different now.
Sara do you remember the last time you had a few drinks?
No.
That's the point you can't drink. Last time you had a few too many you painted "bitch" on Katie Hutchinson's garage.
I would've done that sober, that bitch stole my boyfriend.
[to Ziva] You know, McGee is really starting to nail your essence, here; '[in a low voice from McGee's book] Stakeouts. Long, endless hours fueled by cheap food and even cheaper coffee, but tonight Mossad Officer Lisa didn't seem to mind, because she was getting to spend it with Agent Tom... You're behind me again, aren't you?
Lucky guess. [Tony grunts] You know, I think McGee is right.
He was, was he.
It takes almost all of my willpower to resist the urges I have when I'm around you, Tony. Maybe, it's about time I just... give in, yes?
And by "give in", you mean...
Letting loose! Doing what comes naturally to me.
Yeah, I thought I was picking up that vibe the first time we went undercover together.
You were? In fact, I almost did it the first night in the hotel room.
Mhhm. Really?
But my father would not approve.
Because I'm not Jewish?
[laughing] Because gets very angry when I kill a co-worker.
Ha! Like I believed you for even a second.
I'm sure you didn't.
You two done playing grab-ass?
Oh, he started it!
I'm ending it.
Abby, they hate me.
They don't hate you, McGee.
Ziva tried to kill me yesterday.
Well, you did base all of the characters in your book on us, and you didn't ask our permission.
Deep Six is a work of pure fiction!
You described everything in my bedroom.
Not everything. Do you still have those...?
[Abby's computer beeps.]
Ah-ah. Fantasize later, Hemingway.
Before you go, Fornell, there is one thing...
Come with me Tobias, I want to show you something.
You've got that moustache in a box, don't you?
[Tony and Ziva are at the front of the truck, Ziva is driving and McGee is the back seat]
Comfortable back there Gore Vidal?
For the last time, Deep Six is fiction.
Fiction based on us, yes?
No! Look, if you don't believe me, read the disclaimer in the front of the book.
You buying that, Lisa? [Ziva does the "evil laugh"] Didn't think so. [straps on seat belt] Nice knowing you, Probie.
Ziva?
[Ziva starts the truck and hits full speed. McGee falls off his seat]
It's just a book!!
Reminds me of that urban legend.
Which one is that?
Guy dresses up like Santa, you know, for Christmas Eve to surprise his girlfriend but he never shows. She's convinced that the bastard dumped her, badmouths him all over town.
Until they find the poor soul's body months later, still clutching the little box with her shiny new engagement ring. And the moral of course is...
Never a good idea to get married.
No, it's best not to judge someone until all the facts are in.
I like mine better.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
