[answering his phone] Director.
He is, sir, but it's bad. They're working on him now, I'm gonna stay here 'til he's out of surgery.
No, you're not. The best thing you can do for Gibbs right now is your job.
If The Calling's still operating in Iraq, you need to get back there while the trail is hot.
Look sir, no one wants Daniel Budd stopped more than I do-
Then we don't stop, DiNozzo. Until The Calling's dismantled and this psychopath is captured or dead. We owe Gibbs that much. Are-we-clear?
CT Dr. Cyril Taft
[before operating on Gibbs] Time to dance, Agent Gibbs. Mind if I lead?
[after successfully completing Gibbs's surgery, the surgical staff applaud Dr. Taft.]
CT Dr. Cyril Taft
Oh no, no, no, no, thank you ! Thank you! Now let's close. I'm here all week, tip your waitresses!
You're not a Bond villain, Daniel. You're a fraud, and frauds don't get to speechify like Bond villains. They do get to die like them.
S13 E5 Lockdown
(re: Abby) Can you imagine what it would be like to actually be on her bad side?
No, I would rather not, thank you very much.
Well, I can confirm that the captain did indeed die from a crushed trachea. The killer used what is known in Shaolin kung fu as a "claw grip."
It takes some serious strength for a layman to crush another person's trachea using only three fingers.
So either you're looking for someone extremely strong...
Or someone trained in dragon style! (strikes a one-legged kung fu pose) Waaaaa...! (laughs, then sees Gibbs and Ducky's unamused looks) I won't do that again.
[Tony and Bishop observe McGee and Delilah argue in binary numbers code.]
[to Bishop] He can't even argue like a cool Cyborg.
[McGee and Bishop stumble on poison oak]
When we're done here, we gotta bag all of our clothes, ok? Everything . There's this stuff called urushiol. It's in the sap, it's spreads by contact.
Uru–– [exasperated] Just trust me, ok?
Bad poison oak experience?
Yeah. Two of them. Thanks to Tony. Forget the trifecta. I'll never hear the end of it.
Can we just acknowledge the brain power in this room right now? We have a forensic cyber specialist, a cyber terrorist hunter and a cyber spy
For the last time, I wasn't a spy.
We're the cyber dream team.
Sounds official. Do we get jerseys?
Oooh! Or secret matching decoder rings!
[Tony is lying on one of Ducky's autopsy tables]
So on a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?
Let's just say the scale needs recalibrating. I'm afraid it is Toxicodendron pubescens, otherwise known as Eastern Poison Oak. The symptoms are itching, inflammation, blistering...
My skin feels like the surface of ten thousand suns!
Yes, and a propensity for the dramatic.
[in interrogation] I can't speak for Tim, but I'm itchy, I'm irritated and I have a gun!
JM Judith McKnight
You have a very commanding voice, Agent Gibbs... and big hands.
WO Walter Osorio
Former detective, remember? I could find a flea on a rat's anus.
JM Judith McKnight
[calls] What's in the basement?
Hey! None of your business, come back here!
JM Judith McKnight
Is it your naughty room? Want to know my safe word? "Kielbasa."
MH Michael Hayes
(after being released from prison after 16 years) Thank you. Thank you both.
MH Michael Hayes
I know who you are.
(fighting tears) I'm the one who put you in here...
MH Michael Hayes
No. You're the one who got me out.
[repeated passim]
MG McGee / Gibbs / Ducky / Abby
Jeanne Benoit? Really?
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
