TV show quotes
What do you see when you look at him, Agent DiNozzo?
A man works his whole life, dedicates himself to his job, and then has nothing to show for it.
How does that make you feel?
Afraid. I'm a good agent, Dr. Cranston. A really good one.
I know. So do a lot of other people. Maybe Agent Todd was hard on you because she knew what you were really capable of. Too bad she never got a chance to tell you.
I think I just realized who you are, Rachel.
How was I supposed to know what you were planning?
Well, we're a team, Kate! You're supposed to follow my lead.
Oh, even when I don't know where it's going?
Especially then.
Stand right here. Look down. Do you feel that? Right there?
What?
This is where the guy who murdered Kate died. This is where Ziva shot her own brother. That, doc, is closure. The rest is just memories. Nothing wrong with memories.
Man walks into a bar. Asks the bartender for a glass of water, bartender pulls out a shotgun, fires a blast just missing the man, man says "thank you" puts a tip on the bar and exits. Why the '"thank you"? Why the tip?
It's all about responses, Gibbs. You, Vance, ...your agents. We keep things piling up inside... even the harshest response seems appropriate.
It's clear to me we all react to life's challenges in different ways - your people are no exception. Some fight death and some embrace its solace. Some recognize their fate and others do whatever is necessary to alter it. Sometimes we defy other's expectations and, occasionally, we rise to meet them. But the constant is being true to ourselves. We do what we have to when we have to. We react - for better or worse.
What's with McGee?
[Tony chuckles.]
What do you mean?
Is there a... Mrs. McGee?
[chuckles] What a concept.
No, he's not married.
Girlfriend?
Not that I know of.
Okay, what am I missing here, huh? We talking about the same guy, Timothy McGee? The Ichabod Crane who speaks in algorithms, and looks like he has some kind of permanently frumpy expression on his face?
Do not listen to him, Adriana. McGee is a very sweet man, he is intelligent, and he is loyal... [fakes a shot at Tony, who flinches away, shielding his genitals] ...to a fault.
Wait. So she cooperates in her own kidnapping and then she gets off Scotch free?
Scot.
I hope you didn't break his computer. He doesn't like that thing even when it's working.
I should have listened to my horoscope. It said I should stay home today.
[laughs] Your horoscope?
What else did it say?
Avoid new relationships, which after last week probably isn't a bad idea either. [looks up as Tony laughs] What's so funny?
Oh, just that you think you have a choice.
And that you read your horoscope.
Oh, just for fun, but it has been interesting. I have been thinking about taking a break from dating for a while. [makes a face as Tony laughs again] Okay, now what's so funny?
Same thing.
Thanks for the confidence, Tony.
I would like to have seen Gibbs shoot that computer.
Well, if I don't get his email working you may get a second chance.
I almost shot Tony last night. We were stuck for almost three hours before the firemen were able to open up the fire doors.
And you loved every second of it.
[Gibbs hits the computer in frustration when he can't log in to his e-mail]
Uh, Boss, I wouldn't do that. I just finished calibrating your-- [Gibbs hits the monitor again] ..monitors.
It was working fine until you touched it.
[goes to Gibbs' desk] All I did was tweaked the color gamma... Mind if I?... Probably just to restart your email clients... No, let me try this...
[McGee tries to fix the account but to no avail. Gibbs takes out a baseball bat and hits the computer with it.]
Boss, that's really not gonna help.
Well, it helps me.
[McGee accidentally spills Gibbs' coffee onto his desk]
Uh sorry Boss. [desperately trying to clean up the mess] Sorry. I'm sorry uh... how about you take mine. It's a double half-caf, Sumatra blend with a twist of lemon. [Gibbs storms off without a word] I'll have it fixed by the time you get back.
[Tony and Ziva arrive at work]
Morning, Boss. Like that shirt! [Gibbs storms past them without a word]
[to McGee] Hope you didn't break his computer. He doesn't like that thing even when it's working.
I should have listened to my horoscope. It said I should stay home today.
[laughs] Your horoscope?
What else did it say?
Avoid new relationships, which after last week is probably not a bad idea either. [looks up as Tony laughs] What's so funny?
Oh, just that you think you have a choice.
And that you read your horoscope.
Oh, just for fun, but it is interesting. I have been thinking about taking a break from dating for a while. [makes a face as Tony laughs again] Okay, now what's so funny?
Same thing.
Thanks for the support, Tony.
That's one cold-blooded killer. He stops for a hot dog while getting rid of the evidence.
It's not uncommon for killers to find themselves unusually hungry after the act.
No, I saw what happened! You and I were having a conversation, we're trying to work something out.
Yeah! It is a violation. There is an expectation of privacy in our own office.
And she's just chatting away, right over the hedge.
It is over the edge!!
Actually, it's over the top, but it's pushing you over the edge.
Huh?
And you know what I think? [walks into the lab to hear McGee and Abby speaking] What are you guys talking about?
Um, tanning hides. You?
The same.
Easy.
So something interested here here, huh?
There's a couple of options, but I like this desk. Old growth wood. Craftsman made.
[gasps] It belonged to William Faulkner! I love his writing!
Total genius.
Yes! It was worth learning English just for The Sound and the Fury, or that chapter in As I Lay Dying. You know, the one with the five words where Vardaman says "My mother is a fish!"
I don't really like his books much, but I'm a big fan of the movies he made based on other people's books. Like The Big Sleep and To Have and Have Not. I mean, he gave us Bogey and Bacall. God bless you, William Faulkner.
What do you got?
Other than my respect and adulation for human's ability to engineer teeny, tiny parts made of nothing but sand?
[looking down at a touchpad computer] Is it dead or alive?
It's neither. It's like a zombie, Gibbs; if you don't kill the brain, it doesn't die.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
