TV show quotes
I have to break one of your rules, boss. Number six: never say you're sorry. I let things get out of control in the hotel room.
Ah, it's covered. Rule eighteen.
Oh, yeah. It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. Am I forgiven?
No. You've been distracted by your father.
It's that obvious?
(on the phone) For the last time, my name is Anthony DiNozzo, Junior. My father is Anthony DiNozzo, Senior. I live in Washington, D.C. He lives in New York City. Is that so complicated? Junior, Senior? Can you follow that?
What is going on?
Tony's trying to withdraw money from a bank in New York, it sounds like they confused his account with one of his father's and he can't get the money.
Let me get this straight: you want me to spell my name again? Okay. It's big D as in "dimwit", little I as in "idiot", big N as in "nimrod", little O as in "obtuse", double-z as in "ZZ Top"...
What does he need the money for?
Well, he and a couple of his frat buddies decided to take a cruise this spring.
NO, I'M NOT KIDDING!
I just sort of feel like you can use negative space to push the image, you know? It's sort of like a geometrical thing with the light coming across. I was trying to use these geometric lines and spacing. Sometimes I think maybe I should have done something more creative with my life.
No, I think you're in the right profession.
All right, Annie Leibowitz, what's wrong with my pictures?
Well, they're sort of soulless. Analytical. They look like postcards or --
Crime scene photos.
You just need people in them. happy people-
living people.
A team of Homeland Security officers will be waiting for us when we land. Outside the terminal an NCIS detail will take over.
Not taking any chances in case your new hitman tries something on the ground, huh?
Which is why we must consider the possibility they may try something on the plane, where Nora is more vulnerable.
You have reason to believe they're on board?
Stationary target. Closed quarters.
A modern day Orient Express.
The killer would just need an inconspicuous weapon.
Like what? Listen, I've been doing this for a long while and I doubt that there's anything --
Headphone cables make for a perfect garrote, and plastic silverware is not as safe as you might think. I once killed a man using a credit card.
You are so direct. So honest. So different from him.
Tony and I have different approaches.
You're complimentary. You're sure you two never --
No. Positive. Definitely no. Why do you keep on asking about Tony and I?
You're like me and Daniel. A good fit. Besides, Paris is a romantic city and you two shared a room, so I --
I took the couch. Otherwise Tony would have whined the entire flight about his back. [smiles]
...
Hey, in Paris, who got stuck with the couch?
Me. We flipped a coin.
Tough break. (walks away)
Why did you just lie to McGee?
Why did you lie to Nora?
Nora was right. I found my favorite picture, and it's the only one with someone in it.
[looks down at the picture and smiles, almost blushing]
Very french new wave, don't you think?
Maybe. I think it would look better in black and white.
[Tony is video-conferencing with Ducky about a dead victim]
Oh no. My memory card's full. I have to delete some of my photos from Paris.
If you have any of that pyramid outside the Louvre, delete them. That glass monstrosity is an offence to good taste.
First the plague, now radiation poisoning. I'm starting to think someone really has it in for me.
I was there, too, near the car, you know.
We all were.
But don't let that stop you from thinking about yourself.
This isn't about me! It's about my little DiNozzo makers! They've been nuked!
I know!
Do you?! I mean, sure, Tim, your kids are going to be smart, [Ziva rolls her eyes and walks away] but mine have a shot at being really beautiful.
What is that?
It's a Geiger counter. You can't be too careful.
What do you think Corporal Vega was doing at an empty warehouse?
I don't know. Why don't you pick the lock and find out?
We do not have a warrant.
This building is foreclosed, which means it's owned by the bank, and since the people own the banks I think technically we own the building.
Wow.
McGee, you're with me.
Where we going?
To go look for the bomb.
Don't make me say it, McGee.
We'll be careful, Tony.
Notice anything unusual?
Only that he had about the most perfect teeth I'd ever seen.
We heard. From the last two dentists we visited.
Yeah, well, working on him was almost orgasmic.
Didn't really need to hear that.
His retromolar pad was shaped just like a Renaissance bosom.
Get Ziva and DiNozzo out of bed.
What?!
Wake 'em up.
Oh. Oh, right. Get them out of bed because it's the middle of the night and they're asleep.
[looks at McGee like he's gone mad] Yes.
Individual beds. Get them out of individual beds. I was confused. I thought we were talking --
Need some sleep yourself, do you, McGee?
[He is inside the van] Last one to use the van should have to clean it out. Should be a rule.
There is.
Well, who was the last one to use it?
You were.
[Laughs] I don't think so, 'cause it smells like falafels and I know a certain back-up probie agent that smells a little falafely. You wanna' help?
Sure.
Thank you.
[Kicks the trash can over to Tony and walks over to Damon Werth]
Probie?
Yeah, I'm in the process of becoming a sworn NCIS agent.
Don't you have to be an American citizen to join a federal agency?
I'm also in the process of becoming an American citizen.
And I thought you had to be a legal resident for, you know...
[Interrupting] There are a few strings being tugged.
Pulled. Pull strings.
Tug heart strings.
The heart has strings?
According to poets.
Don't confuse the girl. Taken a lot of marionetting to get her this far.
And who's the puppet master?
Where are we going?
Not far.
And, uh, what are we taking? What's in the truck?
[In a car outside with McGee, wired in] What's in the truck?
What is in the truck?
[Opens truck slowly, everyone is waiting on edge]
[After seeing the watermelon crates, sounding incredulous] Melons?
Did she say melons?
Melons in the truck.
Melons...
What are in these melons?
[opens his eyes to see Tony and Ziva standing in front of his desk] I'm awake.
We didn't say anything, McGee.
But you did something, didn't you? What'd you do?! Did you try and put my hand in this water?
That's a little juvenile.
You drew on my face, didn't you? You drew on my face! [looks at his face]
No. I suggested stripping you naked, putting a tag on your toe and dragging you down to autopsy so that when you woke up you would think you were dead, but Ziva thought it was in poor taste.
Well, thank you, Ziva.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
