So this is where a redthroat would hang out after being overseas for months.
It's not redthroat, it's redneck.
Oh.
And I think we've found the entire cast of Hee Haw.
Over there. That's him.
With his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl?
S7 E10Faith
Boss, I've been running bank records on each Marine in Ellis' unit. So far only two Marines, including First Sergeant Tibbins, accepted a bribe: four grand a piece.
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas.
All the money was drawn from the same overseas account and deposited around the same time.
It's a dummy corp.
Interpol's checking into it.
Tell them to check faster.
You do it. Not you, boss. You! I mean, how many languages do you speak, anyway?
Including the language of love, ten.
[Abby is using one of her lab instruments to bake Christmas cookies, all in her own likeness.]
Go ahead, taste one.
[laughs] I'm sorry, Abby, I could never eat you.
[about his Secret Santa] She wants me to meet her at six o'clock on Christmas Eve.
To exchange gifts?
Or wrap me in a cocoon of ivy and suck the Christmas joy out of me.
Okay, I'm going to say this again: she's probably someone who just lacks social skills, so be nice! Get her something special. Kill her with kindness.
Or with a stake of holly through the heart.
[as a favor to Abby, McGee is trying to arrange a satellite call between a little boy and his mother.]
Well, you know what? This is an emergency! I have direct orders from Admiral... Nicholas Whitebeard. Yes, yes, that is his name. He's the Admiral that oversees the... Northern Polar Regions.
S7 E11Ignition
The August 1928 issue of Amazing Stories first stirred the national imagination. It featured the Skylark of Space on the cover, and then you've got Buck Rogers.
What's really amazing is how much more fascinating jet-pack trivia gets the eleventh time you've heard it.
Slow drivers.
Bad drivers.
What is so hard? You go as fast as possible, when something gets in your way, you turn.
You're quoting Better Off Dead. I told you to watch that.
It's a remote control receiver?
Yes, it is.
What is the range?
Almost a kilometer.
I don't speak Canadian. How far is that?
The military experiments with jetpacks?
No... well, yeah, they did, but... [sighs] "After years of testing various designs, ultimately they decided helicopters were more practical for earth-atmosphere flight..."
"Although NASA's compressed gas-powered Man-Maneuvering Unit evolved from Bell Systems's rocket belt technology..."
"'Rocket belt' being the original terminology rather than the more colloquial 'jetpack... '"
McGee's very passionate about the subject. We spend a lot of time here, just the three of us.
I was telling him about the bonus features section on the "Thunderball" DVD, which were pretty interesting, and he says, "um, Tony, bonus features aren't science", and so he...
He schooled you.
Yep.
[autopsying a dead squirrel]
This reminds me of my junior year abroad. I was staying with a family outside of Lyons who spoke only French, and my French was... okay at best. Now, whatever you may think of the people of France, the squirrels are extraordinarily friendly. So I had to explain to them my fear of squirrels. You see, in D.C. there are brown squirrels and black squirrels, and at a time, black squirrels carried rabies. So my mother used to bait traps with peanut butter, capture the squirrels and release them on the other side of the river. But I confused the word écureuil, which means "squirrel," with the much-less accurate requin, which means, uh... "shark."
How they must have pictured your strange homeland with your shark-hunting mother.
S7 E12Flesh and Blood
I've heard the saying "he got blown out of his shoes", but I never thought I'd see it.
Now if the explosion had knocked his socks off, that would be impressive, wouldn't it?
I get it. It must have been tough. Your wife dies and you're left with an eight year old kid, but your solution, Dad, was to warehouse me in boarding schools and summer camps, and half the time I never knew where you were or what you were doing. I needed a closer relationship.
DSDiNozzo, Sr.
You forget, we took some great vacations together.
Like the trip to Maui where you left me in a hotel room for two days and I was twelve years old?!
Okay, so how many amendments to the Constitution?
The Bill of Rights is the first ten, prohibition is eighteen. I'm guessing twenty-three.
Twenty-seven!
Nobody likes a smartass, David.
Why do I have to study all this and you don't?!
I was born here!
It's not as bad as it looks. It's actually an ancient form of meditation, it's a good thing.
PSPrince Sayed
Agent Gibbs, have you had breakfast?
(takes Tony's hat) Party's over. (hits Tony on the head with the hat several times)
Ow, ow,ow,ow,ow!
Explain!
DSDiNozzo, Sr.
What's on your mind?
Your son.
DSDiNozzo, Sr.
What's junior done now?
Tony likes to hide behind the face of a clown, but he's the best young agent I've ever worked with.
DSDiNozzo, Sr.
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
When was the last time you talked to him? I mean really talked to him.
DSDiNozzo, Sr.
We keep in touch.
Four years ago your son came very close to dying from pneumonic plague. I expected to see you. You didn't show then. Why are you here now?
DSDiNozzo, Sr.
He never told me he was sick.
Oh, so you don't keep in touch.
DSDiNozzo, Sr.
What's your point?
Tony inherited his personality from you, but I get the feeling there's a lot about your life you don't share.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.