Tony DiNozzo. Italian, gigolo, furniture mover.
S2 E13The Meat Puzzle
The homicide detective, that completes the team.
You're forgetting the medical examiner.
Oh, that's you!
Mother, this is Caitlin. [Ducky's mother spits at Kate] Mother, we talked about this. She is here to protect us!
Show me your knickers.
Ma'am?
Underwear, missy! I can always tell a woman's intentions by her panties.
It's always been my philosophy.
You're relieved, Tony.
Oh, thank you. [pointing to the dog] This is Contessa, she likes it rough.
[eyeing Tony suspiciously] I have a knife in my brassiere.
You stick to him like an ex-wife after an alimony check.
[Palmer, Gibbs and McGee in the autopsy room examining a suspect's dental x-rays]
[points to x-ray] He gnaws his bones like a caveman?!
S2 E14Witness
I enjoy going to the dentist.
What could you possibly enjoy?
A little pain is a good thing, Kate.
What did the urine tell you, Abby?
Oh all kinds of stuff, we had a really good talk.
[About Tony] You may not admire his methods, but you gotta love the results.
What do you got, Abs?
[to Gibbs] Do I have to answer the newbie?
Humor him.
There were traces of cocaine in the box.
So Tony was right, he was dealing drugs.
Maybe not, the traces were microscopic so it could just be from hiding money.
[McGee looks confused.]
He calls himself a federal agent.
U.S. money supply is contaminated with traces of cocaine.
I thought that was an urban myth.
Give me a bill.
Huh?
Give me a bill!
[McGee hands her a bill.]
A hundred?
Yeah, I like to be prepared for any emergency.
You are such a boy scout.
[Abby rubs bill on paper.]
Money is a great receptor because the ink never really dries. One bill used to snort cocaine then going through an ATM leaves minute traces of the drugs on thousands of others. Four out of five bills in circulation are contaminated to a level that can be detected by drug dogs.
[Abby goes back to work, without giving back the bill.]
Um, Abs?
Yeah?
Forgetting something?
No.
[Tony and Kate are having a food fight]
Any more food fights in here, I'm joining in. With peas.
Frozen peas?
Nope. In the can.
What's not fun?
Nothing.
[looks at Kate's phone] Who's Doctor Jackson?
You read that upside down?
A talent that serves me well. What's wrong with you?
S2 E15Caught on Tape
At least I don't hang out with married people.
[to Abby] Would you please tell him that a man and a woman can just be friends?
Absolutely they can.
Without having sex?
Oh no, they'll have sex.
Abby?!
What? Come on, Kate, haven't you ever slept with a friend?
[upset] What is wrong with you people?
[steps in] Good question, Kate.
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