AGAdriana Gorgova
What's with McGee?
[Tony chuckles.]
ZivaWhat do you mean?
AAdriana
Is there a... Mrs. McGee?
[chuckles] What a concept.
Ziva
No, he's not married.
Ziva
Not that I know of.
Okay, what am I missing here, huh? We talking about the same guy, Timothy McGee? The Ichabod Crane who speaks in algorithms, and looks like he has some kind of permanently frumpy expression on his face?
Ziva
Do not listen to him, Adriana. McGee is a very sweet man, he is intelligent, and he is loyal... [fakes a shot at Tony, who flinches away, shielding his genitals] ...to a fault.
I hope you didn't break his computer. He doesn't like that thing even when it's working.
I should have listened to my horoscope. It said I should stay home today.
Ziva
[laughs] Your horoscope?
Avoid new relationships, which after last week probably isn't a bad idea either. [looks up as Tony laughs] What's so funny?
Oh, just that you think you have a choice.
Ziva
And that you read your horoscope.
Oh, just for fun, but it has been interesting. I have been thinking about taking a break from dating for a while. [makes a face as Tony laughs again] Okay, now what's so funny?
Thanks for the confidence, Tony.
Ziva
I would like to have seen Gibbs shoot that computer.
Well, if I don't get his email working you may get a second chance.
Ziva
I almost shot Tony last night. We were stuck for almost three hours before the firemen were able to open up the fire doors.
And you loved every second of it.
[Gibbs hits the computer in frustration when he can't log in to his e-mail]
Uh, Boss, I wouldn't do that. I just finished calibrating your-- [Gibbs hits the monitor again] ..monitors.
It was working fine until you touched it.
[goes to Gibbs' desk] All I did was tweaked the color gamma... Mind if I?... Probably just to restart your email clients... No, let me try this...
[McGee tries to fix the account but to no avail. Gibbs takes out a baseball bat and hits the computer with it.]
Boss, that's really not gonna help.
[McGee accidentally spills Gibbs' coffee onto his desk]
Uh sorry Boss. [desperately trying to clean up the mess] Sorry. I'm sorry uh... how about you take mine. It's a double half-caf, Sumatra blend with a twist of lemon. [Gibbs storms off without a word] I'll have it fixed by the time you get back.
[Tony and Ziva arrive at work]
Morning, Boss. Like that shirt! [Gibbs storms past them without a word]
[to McGee] Hope you didn't break his computer. He doesn't like that thing even when it's working.
I should have listened to my horoscope. It said I should stay home today.
Ziva
[laughs] Your horoscope?
Avoid new relationships, which after last week is probably not a bad idea either. [looks up as Tony laughs] What's so funny?
Oh, just that you think you have a choice.
Ziva
And that you read your horoscope.
Oh, just for fun, but it is interesting. I have been thinking about taking a break from dating for a while. [makes a face as Tony laughs again] Okay, now what's so funny?
Thanks for the support, Tony.
No, I saw what happened! You and I were having a conversation, we're trying to work something out.
Ziva
Yeah! It is a violation. There is an expectation of privacy in our own office.
And she's just chatting away, right over the hedge.
Ziva
It is over the edge!!
Actually, it's over the top, but it's pushing you over the edge.
Ziva
Huh?
And you know what I think? [walks into the lab to hear McGee and Abby speaking] What are you guys talking about?
Ziva
The same.
So something interested here here, huh?
There's a couple of options, but I like this desk. Old growth wood. Craftsman made.
Ziva
[gasps] It belonged to William Faulkner! I love his writing!
Ziva
Yes! It was worth learning English just for The Sound and the Fury, or that chapter in As I Lay Dying. You know, the one with the five words where Vardaman says "My mother is a fish!"
I don't really like his books much, but I'm a big fan of the movies he made based on other people's books. Like The Big Sleep and To Have and Have Not. I mean, he gave us Bogey and Bacall. God bless you, William Faulkner.
[Tony and Ziva are Abby's lab attempting to piece together the burnt pages of the book]
Ziva
Tony, you're hogging the end pieces!
That's because I start with the end pieces. Haven't you ever done a puzzle before? You go out to in.
Ziva
Have you ever done a puzzle before? Because you work in to out!
[laughing at their bickering] Will you guys stop? I'm trying to read here.
[Tony is hiding in a shower cubicle in a secret attempt to read Gibbs' invitation. Ziva realizes this and pulls the curtain back on him.]
Ziva
Tony.
Ziva
You're in the women's shower fully clothed and you are holding Gibbs' mail.
Ziva
That letter's not for you to read.
I know, but there's so many questions to be answered. The happiest day in someone's life and they need Leroy Jethro Gibbs there to seal the deal? Doesn't make any sense.
Ziva
Right, so be honest. Surely you would Gibbs there at your wedding?
I don't know if a head slap coming down the aisle is the ideal Kodak moment.
Ziva
Tony, why are you trying to look at Gibbs' mail?
Oh, come on, isn't it obvious? The raised calligraphy, the paper that's made from a fabric more expensive than Timmy's shirt. [touches McGee's shirt collar, McGee pulls away] Sorry. [to Ziva] He got the same wedding invitation last week.
Ziva
How'd you know that?
I saw it. Same fancy paper. Same fancy handwriting.
Ziva
Well, someone's being persistent.
Who would wanna invite Gibbs to their wedding?
Yeah, guy's got worst wedding juju than Billy Bob Thornton and Larry King combined.
Ziva
You are overreacting. I, for one, would not mind having Gibbs there when I get married.
[Tony and McGee both stare at her in astonishment]
Ziva
[sees them staring at her] Hypothetically! [Tony and McGee continue looking at her] I mean, you know... when I... someday... you know, if I-- [exasperated] It is not important!
RCRay Cruz
Just celebrated my thirteenth year, sir.
That's funny. Ziva failed to mention your line of work.
It's what I do. It's not who I am.
That's a very zen, new-agey kind of attitude for someone who instals puppet regimes for a living.
Ziva
Okay. Gibbs, can I give Ray a tour?
Yeah, sure. Don't lose him.
It's been a pleasure meeting all of you.
Huh. So it's not Renaissance Ray. It's CIA Ray. He's CIRay!
You really should get that checked out. It's like a bad tick or something.
Something about this guy, boss. His smile is disturbing. I haven't seen a smile like that since Christan Bale's barely audible Batman in The Dark Knight.
Right. Back to work. (in Batman voice) It's what I do. It's not who I am. (normally) Huh.
Salads are not stakeout food.
Ziva
Well, they should be. [motioning at his sandwich] At least they don't stink up the car.
[offers an onion ring] Want one?
Ziva
No!
Ziva
Did Gibbs say anything to you about Agent Barrett? You know, dating?
Ziva
[sighs] Are you sure he knows?
He's Gibbs. He knows everything. He did read her the riot act, though.
Ziva
Well, that's not good, Tony. I mean, you should talk to Gibbs. You and him go way back! I mean, it's like the big rhinoceros in the room that no one wants to talk about.
Ziva
Huh?
It's an elephant in the room. It's not a hippopotamus, it's not a rhinoceros. It's an elephant.
Look, I'm just saying that I think Tony is more upset than he's letting on.
Ziva
Yes, but he and his partner had not spoken in years.
Okay, let's say you and I hadn't spoken in years, and I get my throat slit by a serial killer.
Ziva
I would hunt him down, and make him regret the day he was born. You're not just any partner, McGee!
Ziva
There is always another monster.
Ziva
I mean, we pursue them, but we just keep making targets of ourselves.
Better us than someone who didn't sign up for it.
Ziva
I don't think I can take anymore. [steps into Tony's arms]
Hey, we're going to get him, okay?
[Elevator door opens to reveal Abby and McGee hugging]
[motions with his arm] Bring it in.
[Abby and McGee join Tony and Ziva for a group hug]
NCIS · 1,787 quotes
