“Dead Reflection” quotes from NCIS

Tony

Salads are not stakeout food.

Ziva

Well, they should be. [motioning at his sandwich] At least they don't stink up the car.

Tony

[offers an onion ring] Want one?

Ziva

No!

Tony

Your loss.

Ziva

Did Gibbs say anything to you about Agent Barrett? You know, dating?

Tony

No.

Ziva

[sighs] Are you sure he knows?

Tony

He's Gibbs. He knows everything. He did read her the riot act, though.

Ziva

Well, that's not good, Tony. I mean, you should talk to Gibbs. You and him go way back! I mean, it's like the big rhinoceros in the room that no one wants to talk about.

Tony

Elephant.

Ziva

Huh?

Tony

It's an elephant in the room. It's not a hippopotamus, it's not a rhinoceros. It's an elephant.

Tony

I've always thought that the head slaps were sign of affection. Today in the squad room I was expecting one and I didn't get it. Are you pissed at me?

Gibbs

Rule number twelve.

Tony

Never date a co-worker. [laughs] Yeah, I know. She's pretty great, though. E.J. and I have a lot in common. She's easy to be with. It's nice having someone to talk to. NCIS doesn't have any policy against it. I mean, there are married agents, and technically E.J. and I don't work together. We're on separate teams.

Gibbs

My team. My rules. [ignores phone call from Abby] Sleeping with Barrett is a bad idea.

Tony

No offense, but my personal life is my business.

Gibbs

It's going to effect your work.

Tony

No, it won't.

Gibbs

It already has.

Tony

I know what you're thinking: that I've lost focus, that I've taken my eye off the ball.

Gibbs

I depend on you.

Tony

Listen, we have to kind of cool it around the office from now on. You know what I mean?

You mean around Gibbs. He intimidates you.

Tony

Let's just say he presents a challenge. He sees what he shouldn't see. Hears what he shouldn't hear. He's like Alec Baldwin in The Shadow, and the shadow always knows.

You're scared of him.

Tony

[nods] Yep!

I'm not.

Tony

You should be.