Ziva David quotes from NCIS

Ziva

Hey, guys? [Tony and McGee arrive to see Ziva looking into a dumpster] Someone is going to have to go though this -- this is disgusting.

Tony

Last time I checked, I was senior field agent.

McGee

It's too bad we don't have a probationary agent with us.

But we do!

Ziva

You're going to pull rank on me?! [watches as they turn and leave]

Abby

But, you just got here dont you wana stay a couple of days. You can have some quality time with Tony.

Dinozzo Sr.

Ohhh, I'd love too Abby, but I have to get back to New York I've been away to long.

Ziva

But we barely got to see you.

McGee

Yeah, we were kinda hopin to hear your version of why Jr. got expelled from boarding school.

Tony

Your wildest dreams McGee. Let's go dad!

Dinozzo Sr.

What's the matter with you Jr? Relax.

Gibbs

Hey, DiNozzo hold on a minute.

Tony

Don't move. Stay. [walks over to Gibbs] Yeah boss.

Gibbs

Hey, where's your dad going?

Tony

New York

Gibbs

No not yet we need him get us into the reception.

Dinozzo Sr.

Is that Ziva?

Tony

[frustrated] Yeah.

Dinozzo Sr.

Junior, get my bag. Oh wow, Ziva, look at you! What do you say, sweetheart?

Ziva

Hi!

Tony

Watch the hands!

Dinozzo Sr.

I'm so happy to see you!

Tony

Let's go!

McGee

The Palestinians last location is a thousand miles south of D.C. Now every minor and major airport between has their photos posted. I've got alerts at the train stations, bus stations, local L.E.O.s up and down the coast, as well as all hardware shipments, commercial or military. I have hung a net.

Ziva

I do not know who Annette is or why you are so proud of killing her.

McGee

No, what I mean is, when they make a move I'll know about it.

Abby

You should see your dad.

Ziva

How would that help the case?

Abby

It wouldn't. Have you even spoken to him?

Ziva

No.

Abby

Okay.

Ziva

What does it matter to you?

Abby

Do you think it's just by chance that he came back into your life? I mean, what about Gibbs and his father and Tony? It's just that there comes a point, you know, in your lifetime where they really come back into your life, because they matter to you, and because you matter to him. I mean, I suppose that it sounds complicated, but believe me, it's not nearly as complicated as knowing that they're never, ever going to come back again.

Director David has left us a message.

Tony

What's that?

It is the Hebrew word bayet. It means "house" or "home".

Tony

[sarcastically] Oh, so he's walking all the way home to Israel?

More likely the Israeli embassy.

Tony

"House". Oh, well, you know there is a House of Pancakes down the street, and also a House of Pies and a Donut House --

Ziva

[interrupting Tony] My father needs medical attention. We should split up, cover each possibility.

Okay. [she and Malachi leave]

Tony

Look, you're going to have to go on your own because Gibbs wants --

Ziva

Tony, do you know what a Golem is?

Tony

Creepy schizophrenic creature from Lord of the Rings?

Ziva

No, that's Gollum. A Golem is a supernatural being from Jewish folklore. It was created from mud to protect the Jews. The mystics sketched the name Emet into his forehead. When the monster's task was completed the letter aleph was scratched out, changing the word to met. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Tony

Yeah. Liat pulled a Golem. She erased a letter?

Ziva

Liat is an overachiever. She erased the entire word.

Tony

You're not going to the House of Pancakes, are you?

Ziva

The second word was knesset - the word you removed. Beit knesset - the nearest synagogue. But just one question: why did you not trust me?

You're not with us.

Ziva

Aba! Show yourself!

Are you an idiot?

Ziva

We're not looking for the afikoman. He can hear us if we call him.

Yes, but you don't know who else might hear.

Ziva

Aba!

[grabbing Ziva by the shoulder] You stop!

Stop this! [enters with Malachi] What are you doing?

Ziva

[pointing to Eli] He's coming with me, Malachi.

He's not going anywhere.

Liat, you do not answer for me.

Ziva

Hadar is dead. Director Vance is nearly so. Everyone has questions for you.

Then you take me to NCIS. You will have your answers.

There have been times I felt this job take a piece of me. Where I worried it might be gone forever.

Ziva

Sometimes life surprises you.

Those are the moments worth living for, my Ziva. [kisses her forehead]

Tony

[after Ziva turns off the sound from the interview room] Thanks. I was getting a headache.

Ziva

Really?? This is usually your favorite part. Getting to watch reality TV at work, as you call it.

Tony

Well, people change, Ziva.

Ziva

Yes. But not that quickly. And yet here we have this new Tony. Who arrives early, stays late, turns down advances from beautiful women, and has not made a single joke in the past, what, two days?

Tony

I haven't? Are you sure? Well, we're in the middle of a case.

Ziva

It has not stopped you before.

Tony

Well, it's stopping me now, and I'm sorry if you're losing sleep over it, but I can't be responsible for everyone's feelings!

Ziva

Everyone?

Tony

Everyone! You, and McGee, and the Brenda Bittner's of the world. Everyone!

Ziva

Brenda.

Tony

Yeah. Bittner. The girl who posted online that we were in a committed relationship last year.

Ziva

Yes! Yes, but if I remember correctly, the only thing you were committed to was a one night stand.

Tony

That's right. [clears throat] I just found out that she checked herself into a depression treatment facility after she wrapped her car around a tree. Nice one, huh?

Ziva

And you feel responsible.

Tony

No! I barely knew the girl. I'm just saying.

Ziva

Well, clearly she was a troubled woman.

Tony

It's clear now, isn't it?

Ziva

Still, it must be unsettling to think that you didn't notice at the time, especially since it is your job to help people who are in trouble.

Tony

I don't know why this has gotten under my skin like this. I mean, of all things. Maybe instead of having a mid-life crisis I'm having a mid-life crazy.

Ziva

Look, you are not crazy, okay? You are just -- [pauses] -- growing up. And some lessons are more painful as we grown older when the stakes are higher, but you need to find balance. And yes, yes, yes, yes! You need to treat people more respectfully, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But you, need to be who you are.

Tony

Who am I?

Ziva

You are Tony DiNozzo. The class clown. That is why we love you.

Tony

I don't need more money. I need more time. Just think of all the women I could've dated.

Ziva

I would rather not.

Tony

Respectfully dated. [Ziva looks at him] But it's never too late. [goes to his file cabinet]

Ziva

What are you doing?

Tony

Tallying up my overtime.

Gibbs

You got more coming Skippy. [Tony and McGee look at him] Grab your gear.

Tony

Got another all-nighter?

Gibbs

You can sleep when you're dead.

Tony

5 kids Craig was advising. Hi I thought you were in Miami. You look positively awlpine.

Ziva

He came to me. We went skiing again this time to Vermont.

Tony

Vermont that's so quant they have all those lovely little country inns and uhh, cozy fires and sticky syrup that gets every where.

Ziva

He enjoys nature and I discovered that he's a fantastic cook he made this whoow delicious awzooboko.

Tony

Aren't you lucky so he's a real renasaunce man.

Ziva

He is an expierence man who knows how to enjoy life there is a difference.

McGee

So when do we get to meet him and please tell us his name.

Tony

Oh, no please let me guess. Zeus uhh Thor.

Ziva

His name is Ray.

Tony

Ray what a nice little name. Ray like Ray Crock or Ray Charles or Sugar Ray.

Ziva

Umm, I promise you Ray is a good man.

McGee

Not a hacker, either.

Ziva

How do you know?

McGee

My firewall hasn't been penetrated.

Tony

Lubricant helps, but everybody has dry spots.

McGee

Erm...real funny, Tony.

Tony

(Laughs) You think I did this?

Ziva

I would not put it past you.

Tony

Guys! Come on, a little credit, please. I have grown past this kinda sophomore thing. I mean, who would do something so...genius! McGee with a plastic girlfriend! Congratulations, Tim! She's very sweet.

McGee

The receipt's got my credit card information on it. It must be some kind of mistake.

Ziva

I would cancel your credit card.

McGee

Right now, all I need to do is figure out how to deflate this thing.

Tony

Oh that's easy, there's always a button right here on the back of the neck...(Tony realises what he has just said)...there's no reason I should know that.

Tony

Tim McGee, meet Tim McGee.

'Sup dude.

McGee

Hello. (Looks at Tony) I don't get it.

Tony

Well, Tim, there are two kinds of identity thieves. There's the kind you never know and there's the kind that knows you so well that they're aware you're not home from 7am to 10pm.

Ziva

Who is Mrs Miller?

Tony

It's McGee's landlady, holder of the keys. She also has a bad back.

Ziva

Oh.

McGee

It was you! You stole my identity, you sent me an inflatable girlfriend! You know I'm down almost ten grand!

Dude, it's fraud and you're only liable for like... fifty bucks.

Tony

Yeah dude.

McGee

(To Nick) Why? Why are you doing this to me?

You're always doing the same thing. Go to work, come home, go to work again. You even order the same take-out food every single night.

McGee

Not every night.

Dude, yes! You gotta start living. You're too young to act so old.

The thing that puzzles me, with all this change, allegiance to country, of the type of men you're drawn to, what is it that you are looking for? What is it that you want?

Ziva

I want something permanent; something that can't be taken away. Is that too much to ask?